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To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 2:20:33 PM   
smoothcoco


Posts: 16
Joined: 7/25/2007
Status: offline 		Well that is the situation in my area.  I am in south florida, and there are about 50 subs for each Fem Dom(not an exaggeration).  Most of the Fem Doms down here are sort of fake, few of them are real.  Anyone else experiencing the same thing where you live???
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 2:23:27 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well what you need to be asking is "Why are these other subs able to get doms and yet I can't?"

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 8/6/2007 2:51:23 PM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to smoothcoco)
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RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 2:26:26 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		Hmmm, I maybe be reading this wrong but I think coco here is a sub. Not a dom.

To coco: No, I find it is really the opposite where I live.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 2:26:34 PM   
smoothcoco


Posts: 16
Joined: 7/25/2007
Status: offline 		What????  Re read the post... Also, I am a sub not a dom.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 2:28:26 PM   
smoothcoco


Posts: 16
Joined: 7/25/2007
Status: offline 		well I need to move where you are then.  There are not enough Fem Doms here and only a quarter of them are REAL.

(in reply to smoothcoco)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 2:28:34 PM   
MistressCass


Posts: 80
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline 		I find it is the same in my area.    Far to many subs, not enough Dom/mes.   I do my share tho.   *building new walls on stable as we speak*

(in reply to smoothcoco)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 2:32:08 PM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		then her question should have read "Why are these other subs able to get Dommes and yet I can't?"

we will let LA make a mistake now and then I think that it is in her contract...

you may think that one realy outnumbers the other, but if you go out and live the life you will find more Dommes. Join a group, attend munches. You will find someone. Just please dont go out with a "I am a sub, where is my mistress" t-shirt on. relax and have fun, show someone without spacificly (sp?) hitting on her what you may offer. and just so you know not all Dommes are looking oral service.

_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

(in reply to smoothcoco)
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RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 2:35:18 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		it is really hard to find Fem Doms sometimes it can take a lifetime just to find one your compatable with.
but never give up.. and do not limit your self to your local area try at least four hours away min

(in reply to MistressCass)
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RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 2:37:50 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		Most likely, the majority is real but doesn't fit into your concept of how reality should be. If it is frustrating to you, squelch your criteria or suck it up and wait.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to Phin)
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RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 2:38:49 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I know I have yet to find a plethora of subs/slaves roaming around my little slice of farm heaven............

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to smoothcoco)
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RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 2:50:58 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks Phin, you're right!

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 2:54:05 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smoothcoco

well I need to move where you are then.  There are not enough Fem Doms here and only a quarter of them are REAL.
Now see, I didn't say anything about there being any femdoms here. As far as I know, I'm the only dom in a fifty mile radius of where I live. But I also have to import my own alves as well. The "scene" here is non-existent.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to smoothcoco)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 3:05:06 PM   
PairOfDimes


Posts: 324
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		It always seems like whatever one wants is scarce.

And, too, in some groups, it does seem like there are more submissive men than dominant women. It also seems like there are relatively few women who exclusively top and dominate. (Note: I'm not saying that there are none at all--good grief, I think I'd have to stop existing once I posted this!) If you've only been looking at women who never, ever bottom, you might want to expand your search to women who identify as switches. Many are excellent tops and dominants.

Also, if you're only looking online, get out to your local groups and munches!

I'm concerned about this "fake" and "real" thing you're talking about. What does that mean? It's entirely possible that many dominant women around you aren't compatible with you, but that doesn't mean that they are artificial.

(in reply to smoothcoco)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 3:35:55 PM   
MasterMike04103


Posts: 143
Joined: 7/24/2004
Status: offline 		Coco,

I know this is a stretch BUT there a re a couple chapters of The Next Generation in florida, one I do beilive is in miami county,  the other in orlando, these are support/social groups for people under the age of 18-35/40 ish, you might I have an easier way of getting to know poeple that arn't your parents age. But I agree with most people that you need to get out there and socialize and network... As for the ratio of FemDoms:malesubs is usually rather high in most areas because there are usually more men who feel subserviant rather than Dominant... I can't speak to how many of these men or the few FemDoms are real fake or whatnot, but its a truth no matter where you are... But its the same with MaleDoms:femsubs ration can be said... at times there are more Male Top types then there are female subs... atleast where I live.

Mike

(in reply to PairOfDimes)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 4:32:33 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		The secret to the discrepancy in ratios is to make yourself stand out. Right off the start, there are things you can do...(oh boy, another littlesarbonn list....)

1. Be completely honest about yourself in your dealings with potential dominant partners. What you'll discover is that so many submissives are trying to win her favor that they're lying left and right in hopes of getting a chance. And they're pissing her off! A more seasoned dominant (that doesn't mean older, but it means one with wisdom from the experience) will already be on the watch for those that are going to be dishonest, and she will remove them from the potentials right off the start.

2. Don't play games with her. Be what you intend to be and understand that if you happen to be something she's NOT looking for, go look for someone else because you're just going to be wasting her time and your time. See Answer Number 1.

3. Understand she's a real person, not a fantasy element to which you can hang your fantasies. Sure, she might dabble in your fantasies, but she's not a blow up doll. Okay, mine usually are, but the one you're trying to attract probably is real flesh and blood.

4. Write a sincere letter/email to her giving enough information to indicate you are sincere. Don't send her a one line statement saying: "Hey, wanna hook up?" Or the first part of a seven part novel that you're writing about your desire to be her next muse. Keep it simple but with enough information to prove you're actually legit.

5. Send a nice face shot. The one on your posting thing here is fine. DON'T send a cock shot. That will not make her happy. Let me repeat. THAT WILL NOT MAKE HER HAPPY.

6. If by some chance you do get to meet her, be polite and friendly. She's a dominant, not your next girlfriend. Well, that may not always be the case, but if you're interested in her as a dominant, treat her politely as one, and keep your mind focused on how she wants you to respond, rather than thrust your ten years of fantasies of how men and women should react in D/s relationships all at the forefront at the first moment you interact. Again, remember, she's not your girlfriend. I fail at this one a lot. I often can't figure out the line between these two, and when she and I interact friendly-like, I often forget she was interested in me as a dominant woman, and then we establish a great friendship that might lead to romance, and somewhere down the line, we forget the D/s part. Still haven't figured out how to solve that one yet.

7. Avoid bringing up previous partners/dominants UNLESS she asks.

8. If she's hot, ask if she has a sister and then put her in contact with me. Okay, this piece of advice might not help a lot, so I'll let you use your common sense on that one.


_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to smoothcoco)
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RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 4:45:15 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Most male submissives are complete fucking idiots.  Please note I said MOST implying quite clearly to those who can read that that means there ARE exceptions.  Socially competent male submissives who enjoy actually improving the lot and life of a Domme are few and far between, most are just looking for a fetish delivery device, not a full fledged woman who is also a Domme.

As LA said, figure out why THEY are getting chosen and not you.  Hint, don't send cock pics, don't tell them you will do anything, tell them you would do something even if they are filthy dirty and wearing sweats, and find some concrete non sexual tasks you are willing to do and learn to do them well.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 4:50:05 PM   
MasterMike04103


Posts: 143
Joined: 7/24/2004
Status: offline 		SM,

that my friend was a most profound statement, I think the same could be said with minor variation for every gender / Station of the lifestyle. Might I pass this on to people in my TNG group?

Mike

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 5:00:58 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Always!

(in reply to MasterMike04103)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 5:05:30 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		To the OP;  I am not taking apart your profile, for you are very honest about what you want, and that is cool......a lot of dommes however want to dominate more than sexually and you are honest about wanting only that.  To sound unladylike, I can get cock or pussy anytime I want it, service however is another story, and that is what I seek.  **pinches self to make sure real while tongue in cheek**  No offense, but I would pass you by just for that, and will let you know that the type of subs that I and a lot of dommes seek are not as plentiful as you believe.

edited to add:  I am originally from South Florida and for me the same situation existed as here.

< Message edited by kc692 -- 8/6/2007 5:06:29 PM >

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to MasterMike04103)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms - 8/6/2007 5:20:31 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I have to agree.  Number one on the list is don't emphasis the sexual part of the domination so much.  I can get laid anywhere.  That's not what I'm in this for.  In fact (you heard it here first), I'm very much considering a submissive at this time where NO SEXUAL ACTIVITY will be involved.  Why am I doing this?  Please see the earlier statement of the ability to get laid anywhere.
 
Why might this be the submissive who is chosen above the rest?  Because of the other things he offers.  Because he is more interested in the power exchange that I crave more than a simple physical encounter.  Because he has something to offer, more than just dick.  Because he wants to serve, and more importantly, wants to serve Me in particular.  You can't trade that for an orgasm that can just as easily be obtained with chocolate.

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 20
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