RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was a good friend

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 11:15:26 AM

bschwimmer

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Its been over a year and we still have not resolved anything . It is all about me and how bad I am

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 11:16:53 AM

FullfigRIMaam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tarisa
I'm gonna take a stab at this...I'm guessing the therapy isn't working???

LOL

quote:

Even if you are married and she is a widow

I would be insulted if some married man with whom I am friends were to approach me for sex after my significant other passed... It would seem incredibly disrespectful to me. Work out your marriage, or decide whether you'd be happier single, since you only have one life to live. None of us should tell you to divorce, it's not our lives to decide on. M

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 11:33:21 AM

Tarisa

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Why dont you then be good then and get a divorce.

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 12:03:35 PM

BossyShoeBitch

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Regardless, right now you are married. You have a relationship with someone else it's adultery. You need to make some hard decisions and soon.

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 12:09:18 PM

bschwimmer

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MY son is what is keeping me there. I know it is a cop out but stats show children of divorce etc etc

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 12:22:26 PM

LaTigresse

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That is a very lame excuse and yes, a copout. I believe a maturely handled divorce is far better for children than living in a house full of lies and tension.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 12:26:17 PM

sappatoti

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Well, if you're choosing to stay in your relationship because of other factors, such as your UMs, property, or whatever else, then you're still making a commitment to that relationship along those lines. It's still a marriage, whether romantic interest or not is involved anymore, and it still needs to be treated as such. The law, particularly in New York, does not grant any extenuating circumstances in what it considers adulterous behavior. I was married under New York statutes; I got divorced under New York statutes... that's the way it is.

To answer the question of your OP, no, I would not be contacting a person I had a former crush on, or anyone else for that matter, as long as I was still in the marriage. Now, if I couldn't control my hormones and had to have some sexual action, there are paid services to deal with that. Still adulterous, but at least I'm not dragging a friend into my mess.

Maybe this sounds harsh, but that's the nature of it.

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 12:28:17 PM

Tarisa

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I agree with all the above posts, be mature and get a divorce. Not a good example you are setting for your son.

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 12:30:07 PM

xBullx

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Tarisa,

Who is your crush?

Bull

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Caution: My humor is a bit skewed.

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 12:41:52 PM

Tarisa

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besides you Bull ? hehe...I'm actually crushing on someone. How are you Bull ?

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 1:08:13 PM

bschwimmer

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what should I do?

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 1:14:14 PM

Tarisa

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That is for you to decide. But I would be having this conversation with your wife.

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 1:19:08 PM

bschwimmer

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Thats the hard part we cannt talk any more

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 1:24:28 PM

Tarisa

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Well you are going to have to

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 2:21:42 PM

LaTigresse

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Opening line.........him: "I want a divorce!"

I predict much talking will follow...........

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 2:22:59 PM

Tarisa

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LaTigress said it beautifully lol . . .

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 3:44:47 PM

SimplyMichael

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Kids need to see HEALTHY relationships modeled by their parents, not fucked up ones. Get the divorce, move on and find something wonderful, BOTH of you will be happier and the kids get four times the attention.

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 3:57:49 PM

DrkJourney

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bschwimmer

what should I do?

I'm curious...so ..... you have asked this question does this mean that you will be tallying votes on this thread and going with the majority?

I've seen some excellent advice, none of which you seem to want to take, there's always some reason that you can't or won't do as suggested...... so my question is:

what do you want?

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 5:52:58 PM

bschwimmer

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I think I donyt have the balls I am sacred.an di am just building up nerve

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RE: Would youcontact someone you had a crush on and was... - 8/27/2007 6:24:28 PM

DrkJourney

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bschwimmer

I think I donyt have the balls I am sacred.an di am just building up nerve

You might want to hurry and flip a coin....who knows, maybe by the time you get through hemin' and hawin' your friend might have moved on and found someone else. Then you might turn back and find your wife had made the decision for you and decided to leave....then you won't have either one.

This might be a stretch, but I've seen it happen

good luck to you

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