Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Is this so bad....


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Is this so bad.... Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Is this so bad.... - 7/1/2005 9:11:21 PM   
Davesgirl


Posts: 89
Joined: 5/13/2005
Status: offline 		Ok, I wasnt intially going to post anything about this...But the more I get these messages, the more irritated and upset I get.

Is it really such a terrible thing for my Master and I, who are both brand spanking new to any sort of BDSM lifestyle and a M/s 24/7 relationship dynamic, to learn and grow together? Originally, I hadnt thought it was a bad thing at all. In fact, I thought it the best way for us to deelope. But now, I have recieved numerous messages from other "slaves" telling me my Master is a fake, he's not a real Master, and I should drop him fast as I can.

So..my question is...Is it such a vulgar idea for two people to learn, grow and a relationship develope together? Even if both people are inexperienced?

Thanks, in advance
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/1/2005 9:19:15 PM   
LovePotionJezebl


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/5/2005
Status: offline 		everybody starts somewhere.... You should never let someone who doesn't know you from anywhere dictate how you and your master handle your relationship...

It's great that you are growing in the life together.. *smiles* Good for you

(in reply to Davesgirl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/1/2005 9:19:44 PM   
sarbonn


Posts: 203
Joined: 3/23/2004
Status: offline 		There's nothing wrong with learning together.

Whenever you hear someone tell you to drop your partner because that partner isn't real to THEM (assuming they believe THEY are better for you), then that should be the first sign that something is wrong...with THEM, not you.

_____________________________

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day...
...teach a man to fish, he steals your fishing hole and then charges you for the fish.

(in reply to Davesgirl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/1/2005 9:20:40 PM   
stormsfate


Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		No, it isn't a vulgar idea. I can't imagine why anyone would feel the need to involve themself in someone else's relationship like that, unless it is for the very reason of making you question your relationship. It is only *your* opinion that counts! Most people have been questioned as to their authenticity at one time or another, but unless its someone they are planning on becoming involved with, I'm not sure why they care.

It amazes me that people are that presumptuous...lol. I do hope you will have confidence in yourself and in the choices you have made and not pay so much attention to strangers posting anonymously that it will upset you to this extent.


best regards,
fate

_____________________________

Vision? What do you know about MY vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions and the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you! Now ask yourself, are you really ready to see that vision? [/size

(in reply to Davesgirl)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/1/2005 9:28:39 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		Everyone has to learn somewhere. Even Dominants

(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/1/2005 9:34:09 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		The only reason I can see why anyone would presume to write to you in that way, and that doesn't excuse it or make it right, is that you do state in your profile that you are seeking guidance since your Master is a naturally dominant person but is unaware of the lifestyle. ANd you are new to this yourself.
There will always be those who will try to convince you, or bully you into thinking that if this is more important to you than to him, maybe they have a way to weasel their way in. They view this as you being more on your own, and they will leap at the chance to interfere and score one for themselves. One of the ways to do that is to say your Master is a fake or "not real".
It's not right. In fact, it's downright rude, but people are going to do that. Maybe a little tweak of your profile would stop some of it?

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to Davesgirl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/1/2005 9:43:07 PM   
Davesgirl


Posts: 89
Joined: 5/13/2005
Status: offline 		Good idea GoddessDustyGold...I just finished updating my profile...Hopefully it will help decrease this...irritation.

I do have to say, that one of the women that has been messaging me, has been, at least, civil. Shes not gotten downright rude and foul about it. So...*Crosses fingers* Maybe theres hope yet.


(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/1/2005 10:15:04 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		I like it.

It's worked for my partner and myself. I find we have some pretty serious troubles, but that we are both coming from the same place, mostly. (I have more experience than he, but not in a full-time live-in situation.)

Do what works for you and fuck 'em.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to Davesgirl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/1/2005 10:56:32 PM   
nonuts4thshoney


Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

So..my question is...Is it such a vulgar idea for two people to learn, grow and a relationship develope together? Even if both people are inexperienced?



Master and i are both learning together as well. i see nothing wrong with this. i have received some messages as well that were negative. You should see the ones Master has received because SHE calls herself Master. Do not listen to what others are saying. i think it's wonderful that the two of you are on this journey together.

-carolyn

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/1/2005 10:59:48 PM   
Tempestspet


Posts: 360
Joined: 1/13/2005
Status: offline 		There's absolutely nothing wrong, as many above have stated. Just keep in mind, you are on message boards, not face to face. Take what you hear with a grain of salt.

And above all else, follow what you feel to be right for you.

Take care, and good luck!!!

Sincerely,
Tempest's pet
jennifer

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/2/2005 1:25:21 AM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		It is NOT a bad thing it is infact a way WAY good thing. as ther is already trust and caring there..
those who say its not real.. well ever think that THEY are not real ??

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to Davesgirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/2/2005 1:33:18 AM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Davesgirl
I have recieved numerous messages from other "slaves" telling me my Master is a fake, he's not a real Master, and I should drop him fast as I can.


It sounds like jealousy to me.

(in reply to Davesgirl)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/2/2005 1:43:07 AM   
fillepink


Posts: 124
Status: offline 		i used to be in chat here quite frequently, and noticed a phenomeuon -- very pronounced -- in which some men would try/do/say anything to a collared woman to persuade her to return her collar. One of the chief tactics was to attack the woman's Dom or Master. They'd latch onto some characteristic in His profile and say they could fulfill the woman's needs better because of the Dom or Master's "inadequacey". Believe me, if Your Master had 20 years' experience, your email would be saying He's too extreme, cannot form a lasting relationship, etc etc etc.

Make no mistake -- these men do not want you. What they want is the pleasure of knowing they have caused turmoil in the relationship and ^the supreme achievement^ broken up the couple. In short, they are at best, cases of arrested development -- and at worst, just evil little men.

fillepink






Attachment (1)

< Message edited by fillepink -- 7/2/2005 1:46:59 AM >

(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/2/2005 1:58:30 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		I find it interesting that so many submissives are messageing you about your dom being a fake. Normally it's other doms who will tell you this so as a way to hit on you and such.

When I see a couple I look to see if they are happy together. After all that's what really counts. Not everything is clear Black and White meaning that not every BDSM couple has to be all Dom and Sub. Whatever floats the boat. If the two of you are happy with what each other is doing then it's none of our business to jump in. My hat goes off to you.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Davesgirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/2/2005 6:02:57 AM   
perfection20005


Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline 		Don't let anyone tell you who you are, or how to go about getting what you want. We all have to start somewhere, and growing together is fun. I hope you don't listen to others about your Master being a fake, you go with what you know and feel. Good luck.

perfection

(in reply to Davesgirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/2/2005 7:43:13 AM   
slavedesires


Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Davesgirl

Ok, I wasnt intially going to post anything about this...But the more I get these messages, the more irritated and upset I get.

Is it really such a terrible thing for my Master and I, who are both brand spanking new to any sort of BDSM lifestyle and a M/s 24/7 relationship dynamic, to learn and grow together? Originally, I hadnt thought it was a bad thing at all. In fact, I thought it the best way for us to deelope. But now, I have recieved numerous messages from other "slaves" telling me my Master is a fake, he's not a real Master, and I should drop him fast as I can.

So..my question is...Is it such a vulgar idea for two people to learn, grow and a relationship develope together? Even if both people are inexperienced?

Thanks, in advance


you know sweetie....NO ONE knows it all.........
if anyone knew it all, they'd be god...well some think they are by their nics..."Lord" poohba,
"Goddess" poohba...etc

but if their ego is taht big, i wonder how they walk through doors!

i persoanlly see NO SHAME in admitting you need more information, have questions, need advice in regards to being a "newbie" either you or your Dom.

Its those who dont admit they dont know who havent a clue they dont know.

and those subs/slave who claim your dom isnt good enough to be a dom or master, let alone yours ...f**k them..... you know what you want and desire and he fits you, so tell them to take their opinions and stick it where the sun dont shine.

just my opinion

~~shy

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to Davesgirl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/2/2005 8:02:50 AM   
slavedesires


Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

The only reason I can see why anyone would presume to write to you in that way, and that doesn't excuse it or make it right, is that you do state in your profile that you are seeking guidance since your Master is a naturally dominant person but is unaware of the lifestyle.


In my opinion,"natuarally" dominant doesnt have a thing to do with lifestyle.
To me this means a man who is in control of himself, his world and respects others without trying to be domineering.
A dominant in lifestyle is one who knows how to be dominant to one particular girl (hopefully) and their desires and sexually dominate the scene and relationship.
Now thisis just my take on it.

And if she seeks guidance for her and her Dom, maybe he asked her to. Doesnt make him a weak pathetic wannabe, but a stronger man who admits to his girl his lack of knowledge and asks her for the help cause maybe she has more time, or maybe its her task and her proof of obedience to him.



quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

ANd you are new to this yourself.
There will always be those who will try to convince you, or bully you into thinking that if this is more important to you than to him, maybe they have a way to weasel their way in. They view this as you being more on your own, and they will leap at the chance to interfere and score one for themselves. One of the ways to do that is to say your Master is a fake or "not real".
It's not right. In fact, it's downright rude, but people are going to do that. Maybe a little tweak of your profile would stop some of it?


My dom loves the fact that I have a mind, asks questions, have opinions, am articulate (in fact have been told I am articulate professionally too) and praises the use of my words at times.
So if someone tries to interfer with who I am, he tells me go for it.

Rarely will i start a forum here.... i have learned to search threads and if i find nothing i might a thread....so i just browse threads and pick up information and yes i do pass it on to him at times.

And why tweak a profile if it is who you are?
Be who you are, say who you are and dont let another try to tell you to do something that they feel might be necessary for them or theirs.


~~shy


_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/2/2005 8:30:57 AM   
fillepink


Posts: 124
Status: offline
quote:

In my opinion,"natuarally" dominant doesnt have a thing to do with lifestyle.
To me this means a man who is in control of himself, his world and respects others without trying to be domineering.
A dominant in lifestyle is one who knows how to be dominant to one particular girl (hopefully) and their desires and sexually dominate the scene and relationship.
Now thisis just my take on it.

And if she seeks guidance for her and her Dom, maybe he asked her to. Doesnt make him a weak pathetic wannabe, but a stronger man who admits to his girl his lack of knowledge and asks her for the help cause maybe she has more time, or maybe its her task and her proof of obedience to him.


who in the hell are any of us to determine what title the couple should assume for themselves? is a Domme or Dom here holding a measuring stick we all have to go stand by before we can use words like "submissive" in our profiles? what freaking bulls**t.

when drawing up a profile here, presumably a person or couple is doing 2 things; 1st, trying to convey where they see themselves on the D/s roster; and 2nd; what they seek by being on CM.

i have called men fakes in my emails to them for using foul language to me, etc., but i would not "out" them; they may improve their manners or find a woman who accepts that sort of thing. Apart from that, i do not see where anyone else has the right to question or argue with someone else about their choice of title.

if you find yourself posting over and over about the behavior/worth/perfomance of others here on the boards and consistlenty find them lacking -- perhaps it's time to take a break, re-read your posts, and consider whether you might not be trying to puff yourself up at the expense of others.

and yes, i realise i have lit into a few posters here...but harrassing, libelious or hate speech gets my goat.

fillepink




Attachment (1)

< Message edited by fillepink -- 7/2/2005 8:33:22 AM >

(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/2/2005 8:48:39 AM   
slavedesires


Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fillepink

quote:

In my opinion,"natuarally" dominant doesnt have a thing to do with lifestyle.
To me this means a man who is in control of himself, his world and respects others without trying to be domineering.
A dominant in lifestyle is one who knows how to be dominant to one particular girl (hopefully) and their desires and sexually dominate the scene and relationship.
Now thisis just my take on it.

And if she seeks guidance for her and her Dom, maybe he asked her to. Doesnt make him a weak pathetic wannabe, but a stronger man who admits to his girl his lack of knowledge and asks her for the help cause maybe she has more time, or maybe its her task and her proof of obedience to him.


who in the hell are any of us to determine what title the couple should assume for themselves? is a Domme or Dom here holding a measuring stick we all have to go stand by before we can use words like "submissive" in our profiles? what freaking bulls**t.

when drawing up a profile here, presumably a person or couple is doing 2 things; 1st, trying to convey where they see themselves on the D/s roster; and 2nd; what they seek by being on CM.

i have called men fakes in my emails to them for using foul language to me, etc., but i would not "out" them; they may improve their manners or find a woman who accepts that sort of thing. Apart from that, i do not see where anyone else has the right to question or argue with someone else about their choice of title.

if you find yourself posting over and over about the behavior/worth/perfomance of others here on the boards and consistlenty find them lacking -- perhaps it's time to take a break, re-read your posts, and consider whether you might not be trying to puff yourself up at the expense of others.

and yes, i realise i have lit into a few posters here...but harrassing, libelious or hate speech gets my goat.

fillepink





point well taken.

Just as you are an attorney fillepink, you have dominant or alpha tendencies. But you would never consdier your self a domme in lifestyle.

my revised, edited profile says, i list myself as submissive, but i am His slave...to another girl, i will be her mistress or sister or whatever "we" all decide on.
it is WIITWD..... that will never change for us.
And no, we might never fit the BDSM "mold" but we dont give a f**k.

By the way..... if i need an attorney, i just might like your style in the courtroom.
How much you charge?

~~shy

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to fillepink)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Is this so bad.... - 7/2/2005 10:24:04 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Davesgirl

Ok, I wasnt intially going to post anything about this...But the more I get these messages, the more irritated and upset I get.

Is it really such a terrible thing for my Master and I, who are both brand spanking new to any sort of BDSM lifestyle and a M/s 24/7 relationship dynamic, to learn and grow together? Originally, I hadnt thought it was a bad thing at all. In fact, I thought it the best way for us to deelope. But now, I have recieved numerous messages from other "slaves" telling me my Master is a fake, he's not a real Master, and I should drop him fast as I can.

So..my question is...Is it such a vulgar idea for two people to learn, grow and a relationship develope together? Even if both people are inexperienced?

Thanks, in advance


Experience has nothing to do with compatibility. If you are compatible with him then your relationship will grow. Perhaps it is a blessing that you both lack experience because everything you try will be a new and exciting discovery. Quite honestly, if you put so much value in what a complete stranger thinks about your Dom then you have much to learn about the Internet. If assholes could fly the Internet would be the world's largest airport. It doesn't matter what others think, if you are happy and your Dom is happy who are others to try to pee on your parade?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Davesgirl)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Is this so bad.... Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094