Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Follow My Lead Question


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Follow My Lead Question Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Follow My Lead Question - 8/8/2007 10:14:22 AM   
newtothis55


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline 		Seeing I am newer to this, though older in years, i struggle with the "follow my lead" statements some write me. Mind You I have not spoken to them beyond an email or two How can one follow someone they do not even know? I guess my question is similar to the one I asked about "training". To me communication,honor, honesty are things I hold in high esteem. Maybe its more the fact I am new to the lifestyle real life and have a lifetime of experiences non D/s, but no relationship be it D/s, M/s or vanilla stands much a chance without communication. I am intersted in others thoughts for a new sub who is not new to real life, but seems to stuggle with wanting to establish some baseline to form a relationship on.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Follow My Lead Question - 8/8/2007 10:23:44 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		You have the basics. those core values are important for building trust and your right about the fallowme statments.. what i am a activist on is healthy ds relationships. sometimes we let distructive people in our lives the have no business being there in the frist place. you have to look at each choice you make as being fork in the road.. remeber that not everyones life path is going to be the right choice of someone elses.. but if you do keep to the basic values of which you have stated.. You be more at peace and in more healthy realtionshps

(in reply to newtothis55)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Follow My Lead Question - 8/8/2007 10:26:02 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		You asked something similar to this before.  You have to decide what your parameters are for meeting/doing/obeying/serving.  I personally want to chat online, then on the phone then in person with someone. I don't cyber anything beyond chat.  No dominant has the right to dictate to you how slow or fast you go in relating and meeting.  This is YOUR life and you choose how to run it up until you find someone with whom you want to exchange power.  If people sending emails expect more then move on and wait for someone to come along that jives with your needs.  There is someone for everyone and we all have different wants and needs.  It is up to you to perserve and stay true to yourself.  Let those who want to cyber obey do so.  You don't seem to want to do that, so simply don't do it.


_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to newtothis55)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Follow My Lead Question - 8/8/2007 10:33:03 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: newtothis55

Seeing I am newer to this, though older in years, i struggle with the "follow my lead" statements some write me. Mind You I have not spoken to them beyond an email or two How can one follow someone they do not even know? I guess my question is similar to the one I asked about "training". To me communication,honor, honesty are things I hold in high esteem. Maybe its more the fact I am new to the lifestyle real life and have a lifetime of experiences non D/s, but no relationship be it D/s, M/s or vanilla stands much a chance without communication. I am intersted in others thoughts for a new sub who is not new to real life, but seems to stuggle with wanting to establish some baseline to form a relationship on.


How does one follow the lead of one the person is dancing with?  By paying close attention to that person's energy and diligently trying to sense and follow where one is being led.

How does one lead a person one is dancing with?  By paying close attention to that person's energy and endeavoring to lead well enough that they can follow one's lead.

In both cases, the partners endeavor to overcome and respond to the missteps, without blame, without anger, without accusations.  The purpose and goal and meaning is the Dance, not the people dancing.

I would say that you should follow your heart and decide if you can find the lead arm and the steps and beat of the Dance.

Good luck!

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to newtothis55)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Follow My Lead Question - 8/8/2007 10:35:02 AM   
mmb1


Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline 		Well having their screen name back to normal helps no???  instead of coming under 25 nicks.

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Follow My Lead Question - 8/8/2007 10:38:40 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

"communication,honor, honesty" would be nice, IF you can find them.  I have yet to. Internet is an awkward place as is without the complications of 'anon-ability' and the many ways one can just
make-believe they are what they say they are. I am not new to life either, but it still surprises me when I am cyber-expected to change my priorities, my staples of environment and yes, values for a total stranger.  I cannot. I will not. It is hard to find realness in this (net)form.  If you find the loophole on HOW, you be sure to let me know lol. 

< Message edited by came4U -- 8/8/2007 10:41:11 AM >

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Follow My Lead Question - 8/8/2007 10:39:39 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		MOST of the guys you talk to online are loser dork dumbasses who have no clue on how to form a solid lasting relationship.

But they will do everything they can to convince you otherwise, and to get what they want with as little work possible.

One great method is to try and overwhelm you, seduce you, and get you in the habit of not asking questions and just going along with what they want as soon as possible.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Follow My Lead Question - 8/8/2007 11:18:10 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		that too. lol, yes, what she said. (that is what I meant, I just didn't say it) lol

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 8
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Follow My Lead Question Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.047