quote:

So enough rambling already Intense, get to your questions.  Are these women really submissive or are they situationally submissive or are they bottoms or none of the above?  And as a dominant, would you even bother with this type of female and hope beyond hope that there was a treasure underneath that rude, demanding exterior?

quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietlyIntense
Are these women really submissive or are they situationally submissive or are they bottoms or none of the above?  And as a dominant, would you even bother with this type of female and hope beyond hope that there was a treasure underneath that rude, demanding exterior?

quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietlyIntense

Are these women really submissive or are they situationally submissive or are they bottoms or none of the above?

quote:

 And as a dominant, would you even bother with this type of female and hope beyond hope that there was a treasure underneath that rude, demanding exterior?

quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietlyIntense

My first thread on the forums and I have an observation and question - and it doesn't have a blessed thing to do with submissives who don't answer emails and it's only vaguely sorta kinda about twueness . 

I have been interacting with people from the BDSM communities in my area and have encountered some young women who defy any label I can come up with.  The closest I can come up with is a bottom, but many don't even seem to fit that.  Yes I know labeling means nothing, but it certainly helps when you're trying to figure out if the person you are speaking with is even in the ballpark of what you are seeking.

Anyway, quite a few of these young women who proclaim submissive status are insistent that they be treated as a princess, that they will not submit to the authority or will of a dominant except in maybe a kinky sex scenario.  They are often rude, obnoxious and demanding when they've been treated politely and respectfully.  They are self proclaimed princesses and demand to be treated as such.  They even brag that it will take a tough, hardass dominant to get them to submit.

I have met a wide variety of submissive women in my life and they were all very different individuals, but none of them were quite like these young women I've encountered lately. 

Understand that I'm not talking about thinking someone should be submissive to you until you've agreed to seek a relationship with each other.  I am talking about behaviors that I imagine would make most dominants not even bother to pursue them at all because they aren't worth the trouble or headache.  If you've got bad attitude, a list of demands and a wall three feet thick in front you, do you really think most dominants are going to want to try and get through that just to see if there might possibly be someone worth having a relationship with?

For me, I don't like being around rude, pushy people of any sort, much less do I want to be in a relationship with one.  I want a woman who wants to submit to me in a relationship, not have to be drug kicking and screaming into it.

So enough rambling already Intense, get to your questions.  Are these women really submissive or are they situationally submissive or are they bottoms or none of the above?  And as a dominant, would you even bother with this type of female and hope beyond hope that there was a treasure underneath that rude, demanding exterior?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Submissives can be assholes, too.

Submissives, specially newbies, can often run into the problem of thinking if they APPEAR submissive in any way, that they will be taken advantage of, walked over and be totally repressed.  Due to this fear and anxiety, they overcompensate to show just how strong and not needy they are and how they will not hold to the stereotype.

The fact that most groups DO cater to the sub stereotype and DO force a lot of sub peer pressure to "act right" doesn't help the problem much either.

They simply don't know/haven't learned how to be relaxed, soft, and comfortable in their submission.  These are often the types you find wailing about how they finally let one guy "under their walls" and he turned out to be a total asshole.   Their walls are a neon sign blaring to the smarter predators who know just how much those women really WANT to surrender.

None of this excuses poor social behavior of course, but it's going to happen no matter what.

And some of them are just rude assholes with kinky fantasies.  The good news is that there are plenty of great matches for them out in the world.

quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietlyIntense

not even bother to pursue them at all because they aren't worth the trouble or headache. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

Why does everyone have to have a label?

As to your questions:  How are we to know what they are we don't know them.  For all we know they act that way with you because they aren't interested and are trying to turn you off.

If you don't like them, move on.  Someone will like them; I assure you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: curvyslavegirl

I can be awefully rude and demanding when disrespected or faced with the slew of cyberstuds that tend to appear on places like this. It has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not I am submissive. Just as when a Dominant isn't always expecting the world to bow to his feet, i don't lay down and roll over for every guy who shows up with a Master tag attached to the front of his name.

For example when someone sends me an instant message that says "is the slave slut there" or sends me some odd third person rant, I generally reply with something equally obnoxious followed by /ignore. There is nothing SAMish about me once the respect and authority is established, but those who assume they have my respect without establishing a relationship first are gonna get a healthy dose of bitch out of me! ;)