How important is physical apearence?

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How important is physical apearence? - 8/8/2007 3:37:55 PM

biracalsub4wmDom

Posts: 109
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

hello. yes, i have yet another question for all of the Wise Doms here. :)

when seeking out a sub/slave, how important to you is physical apearence? i consider myself a very attractive person. but, admittingly, somewhat overweight. but i am seeing that weight, race, whatever doesn't seem to matter as much in this lifestyle as it does in the vanilla world. is this just my imagination?
i am just curious as to how much physical apearence plays into your decision.

_____________________________

blessings...

biracialsub

***Please respect that I am OWNED & not seeking a Master. Thank You***

Post #: 1

RE: How important is physical apearence? - 8/8/2007 3:43:38 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

I don't know about BDSM to vanilla comparasons. For me, though, I'm not at all concerned with looks. There was a thread some time ago that debated there was no way we could NOT care about the way someone looks.

There was mention of deformities and not ever bathing. To which most vehemently agreed those are two different animals than general appearance. (hopefully LA will dig it up so I dont' have to *S*)

I can want, love, cherish or care for someone regardless of their physical appearances that they can't control or have little ability to control fully. Just be wanting, honest, obediant, fun and clean.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 2

RE: How important is physical apearence? - 8/8/2007 5:49:23 PM

SirMIkeSD

Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline

For me the slave or sub has to be attractive to me, but that encompasses more then just apperance, but that is part of it. There is also attitude, general demeanor, presentation of oneself etc it is the whole overall package.

Mike

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 3

RE: How important is physical apearence? - 8/8/2007 6:03:36 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Fairly important.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)

Post #: 4

RE: How important is physical apearence? - 8/8/2007 6:14:30 PM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

I think physical appearance can be very important, especially for first impressions, as well as physical attraction. So as a dominnt I make a point of being well groomed, dressing appropriately, and using both as a means of expressing my personality and style. I keep healthy and fit as well. Likewise I keep the appearance of my environment, whether it be a motel room, my home, etc. clean and neat as well. While its true you can't please everyone, and my appearance might not appeal to every submissive, to those it does appeal to I want it to appeal as much as possible.

But then you weren't asking about the importance of the dominants physical appearance were you? What you wanted to know was how do I, as a dominant, feel about the submissive's physical appearance. That's easy, take all the things I expect of myself above, and apply them to the submissive.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 5

RE: How important is physical apearence? - 8/8/2007 6:45:56 PM

WhipSwitch

Posts: 17
Joined: 7/29/2007
From: Central Connecticut
Status: offline

General appearance to me is important but I don't need a supermodel. In fact, most of those are way too bony. I don't like obesity but overweight is okay. I prefer to have firm curves to play. I <i>love</i> curves. I certainly would not require my partner to be in athletic condition if for no other reason than <b>I</b> am not in athletic condition.

Concerning weight issues, I am thinking about ways to use that as part of D/s relationships. It is plausible that an overweight sub simply needs the discipline a good Master can enforce. Additionally, I particularly like bondage, and part of that play is restriction of bodies in positions that require a certain degree of flexibility, which is often lacking in individuals who are not "fit" (and I do admit that my flexibility needs work, as well).

I am a bit cautious about that because I know this topic is dicey. Some would consider the vocalization of this as a form of humiliation play, which is not desired by all (or even most) subs!

All that said, the bottom (heh) line is that the relationship/play give both parties what they need and want. In BDSM, such body issues are often of less concern.

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 6

RE: How important is physical apearence? - 8/8/2007 9:53:25 PM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline

I think humans are humans. There are plenty of large people who do not do WIITWD who are happily married. It's about personal preference. does it matter to me? yup. but I'm highly attracted to some really sexy big girls. they know they're sexy. They work it. the carry themselves that way. and it attracts many.

< Message edited by arayofsunshine55 -- 8/8/2007 9:54:41 PM >

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 7

RE: How important is physical appearance? - 8/8/2007 9:56:00 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom

hello. yes, i have yet another question for all of the Wise Doms here. :)

when seeking out a sub/slave, how important to you is physical apearence? i consider myself a very attractive person. but, admittingly, somewhat overweight. but i am seeing that weight, race, whatever doesn't seem to matter as much in this lifestyle as it does in the vanilla world. is this just my imagination?
i am just curious as to how much physical apearence plays into your decision.

what about what's inside? does that count for anything? some people that appear to be very attractive on the outside, are very ugly in the inside and visa versa.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 8

RE: How important is physical apearence? - 8/8/2007 10:02:07 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom

hello. yes, i have yet another question for all of the Wise Doms here. :)

when seeking out a sub/slave, how important to you is physical apearence? i consider myself a very attractive person. but, admittingly, somewhat overweight. but i am seeing that weight, race, whatever doesn't seem to matter as much in this lifestyle as it does in the vanilla world. is this just my imagination?
i am just curious as to how much physical apearence plays into your decision.

Im not a wise dom; Im a sub female. Physical attraction only really plays a part if I am totally repulsed by a person's appearance for some reason.

Mostly it has been my experience that average or even less than average looking people can be very attractive to me based upon how I feel about them. I actually like to talk to a person a few times WITHOUT seeing a photo, because I dont want the photo to cause me to prematurely eliminate someone based on looks.

A gorgeous man who doesn't move me is unatractive to me even if he has 'good looks'. And on the other hand, someone average looking, who has a positive affect on me or otherwise touches me or makes me feel something special becomes very attractive to me.

< Message edited by marieToo -- 8/8/2007 10:04:29 PM >

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marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 9

RE: How important is physical apearence? - 8/9/2007 1:18:45 AM

isispisces

Posts: 35
Joined: 8/7/2007
From: Oregon City, OR
Status: offline

(Also a sub, if you truly care.) I agree with Pad in many ways, and I think it ultimately works both ways. Regardless of weight, you'll want to look your best and hopefully be in good shape (at least be healthy, healthy is good for you!). I know I want to be able to make my Master proud of me, and someone He wants to show off...but heck, it goes both ways...I'd just as readily hope my Master is someone who puts time into His own looks...dirty scuzzy and stanky is no fun for anyone, be they fit and trim or buxom and curvy, Master or pet. :)

(in reply to marieToo)

Post #: 10

RE: How important is physical apearence? - 8/9/2007 4:40:43 AM

SirDraco7

Posts: 108
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline

For me, I would like to be attracted to someone to some extent. That being said, I usually am attracted to those that others say are blah, and less attracted to those that others say are "hot". But I'm weird like that.
But looks are of little importance to me overall, so If I meet a woman who matches me well, I'm still willing to see what might happen even if there is little attraction. But in the past this has shown to be a situation that would go nowhere.

As for size and weight, that matters. Much much more importantly than looks. I'm not the fittest guy in the world, however I am fit and active. I do things, I walk I excercise, I play games and rockclimb and ride bikes and many oither things.   A woman who is unable to do what I can because of size is a big no to me.
If a woman is not restricted in any way because of size then I'd be willing to see what happened.

Lastly about.. bigger women, they are not attractive to me.   I have tried, many times, and no matter what I can't be attracted to them. I can be their friends and talk to them, but when I can't get it up because their size is a turn off for me it's an issue.

It may be harsh and mean but it's honest. I don't go around bashing people about things, but I know what I like and desire. I've tried, and it doesn't work for me.
I know many people and women might look down upon me for such things and so be it. It's me and what I think and like.
As was said already, people are people.   Lifestyle or vanilla we are still the same. If they voice their thoughts and opinions or not is another matter.

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 11

RE: How important is physical apearence? - 8/9/2007 4:56:19 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Physical appearance is generally my first filtering factor. I have my search set on showing profiles with pictures only. It doesn't matter what words you throw at me if I don't like how you look. I'll never feel that attraction fully. The one time I went with someone who I didn't find all that attractive turned out to be a disasterous relationship. I couldn't see putting up with all kinds of shit from someone that I didn't even think was all that good looking. And then there's the guy here that I think is absolutely perfect in looks. He treats me like shit and it only tends to turn me on even more because I find him to be so attractive. And he knows it too.

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 12

RE: How important is physical apearence? - 8/9/2007 5:25:18 AM

biracalsub4wmDom

Posts: 109
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

hi all...
i have enjoyed reading all of the responses to this thread. :) and i can appreciate everyone's opinon.
as for myself, i hate to admit it, but physical apereance, IS somewhat important to me as well. i say i hate to admit it, because i try to be as open as possible, but i have to agree with Aileen68. i can not see myself WANTING to submit totally to someone who i am not physically attracted to. now... average looking is a different story though. i have met men in the past who, if i simply passed them on the street, i would not have looked twice. but...after speaking with them, getting to know their personalities, the way they cary themselves, they way they speak....they become sexy as hell to me. but there has to be SOME level of attractiveness there for me to even get to that point.

_____________________________

blessings...

biracialsub

***Please respect that I am OWNED & not seeking a Master. Thank You***

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 13

RE: How important is physical appearance? - 8/9/2007 5:56:23 AM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

looks can always be deceiving though. how can you know if the person you are physically attracted to isn't a monster inside?

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Are we having fun, yet?

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Post #: 14

RE: How important is physical apearence? - 8/9/2007 6:07:05 AM

Faramir

Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline

Pretty fucking important. That whole "It's what's on the inside that counts" bullshit, is bullshit. We aren't spirits floating around over body shells--that mind/body dualism is a product of Plato and his descendants--you show me a person's "insides." We are our bodies, we are all of us a bonehaus, a bone house, we are a lichama, a body-dwelling. Privileging the "mind" (wtf is that, anyway?) over the body is ridonk-u-lous.

I find my little girl highly attractive--if I didn't, I wouldn't have been attracted to her.

_____________________________

True masters, true subs and slaves, X many years in the lifestyle, Old Guard this and High Protocol that--it's like a convention of D&D nerds were allowed to have sex once, and they decided to make a religion out of it.

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 15

RE: How important is physical appearance? - 8/9/2007 6:10:40 AM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

trust me on this, i've seen alot of so-called "attractive" people be real assholes on the inside. meanwhile, those who aren't as "attractive" have wonderful personalities and dispositions.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to Faramir)

Post #: 16

RE: How important is physical apearence? - 8/9/2007 6:25:18 AM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom

hello. yes, i have yet another question for all of the Wise Doms here. :)

when seeking out a sub/slave, how important to you is physical apearence? i consider myself a very attractive person. but, admittingly, somewhat overweight. but i am seeing that weight, race, whatever doesn't seem to matter as much in this lifestyle as it does in the vanilla world. is this just my imagination?
i am just curious as to how much physical apearence plays into your decision.

Physical appearance is extremely important to me, but not in the way one typically thinks.

I do not insist that my slaves be built like super-models or movie stars. I do insist they take pride in themselves. That means taking care of themselves and taking care to present themselves well at all times.

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 17

RE: How important is physical appearance? - 8/9/2007 6:25:50 AM

loverly

Posts: 236
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline

Everyone has their own preferences in what and who attracts them.. ( funny this is so effecting my life right now or was until i laid it rest) ... and its perfectly ok to wish for what You do... for example my best friend who is a Dom like skinny chicks with hugh fake boobs! lol whatever.. thats His choice and i still love Him and point themout to Him all the time! lol HOWEVER .. if someOne says.. i only look inside and want real and thats what is the most important..( i admitt freely i am a BBW and not happy about it.. i have been allowed to let myself go .. i am working on it and have lost 25 lbs and look and feel better but have a long way to go .. and know i could only benifit from the help of a firm Master to care enough to help me along and well LOTS of Hit sweaty Sex! LOL) anyway.. when someOne says.. i am a true MAster and that is not important.. but thsat me being real is .. i believe them.. one thing i wonder .. whould a true Master say those things and then not even follow thru on a meeting face to face? .. i think not! i mean.. i am a grown up and have no porblem saying .. ok.. i understnad about attraction .. i have the same need myself! and could go on with life and my wait to be found.. but i canont understand someone disapearing and not explaining why! lol or i couldnt.. course no Real Master would do that.. he would either help the girl lose weight while she gsve herself to Him totally.. or Tell her in all honesty what was happening not slik off in silence ! ( oh and change his age on his profiloe twice! lol to a MUCH older age.. well thank goodness He was too old for me in the first place! LOL ) lol is that on this subject? lol sorry its been bothering me alot ! thanks!

evdryone has preferences and as long as respectful to ALL and kind... who cares? i mean.. we are all the same in hat i think.. smell has alot to do with attraction as well.. ! there are alot of things.. i personally dont much like blonde guys.. but then i grew up aroaund alot of them and am more attracted to Tall Dark and Handsom! :-) its just me and what gets my engin revvvvved! lol

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 18

RE: How important is physical appearance? - 8/9/2007 6:30:25 AM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

looks can always be deceiving though. how can you know if the person you are physically attracted to isn't a monster inside?

Its not deceiving at all. If I find someone physically attractive, then they're physically attractive to me, simple as that. That says little to nothing about their personality, which was never the topic. The OP did not ask how important personality is, the question was about physical appearance, and that has been what most of us have replied too.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 19

RE: How important is physical appearance? - 8/9/2007 6:48:58 AM

biracalsub4wmDom

Posts: 109
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

loverly...
i have tried to make a point of letting the Doms i talk to know upfront that i am overweight. i have a very young child, and put on weight durring my pregnancy, and have yet to drop it all. am i happy with the weight? no. but this is who i am for the time being & i tr not to let it get me down. i wouldn't let that guy get YOU down. if you told him from jump that this is the way you are, and he couldn't handle that much sexy, then that's his issue, not yours. :)

_____________________________

blessings...

biracialsub

***Please respect that I am OWNED & not seeking a Master. Thank You***

(in reply to loverly)

Post #: 20

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