RE: How important is physical apearence?

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Cyntilating -> RE: How important is physical apearence? (8/9/2007 7:16:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag I think physical appearance can be very important, especially for first impressions, as well as physical attraction. So as a dominnt I make a point of being well groomed, dressing appropriately, and using both as a means of expressing my personality and style. I keep healthy and fit as well. Likewise I keep the appearance of my environment, whether it be a motel room, my home, etc. clean and neat as well. While its true you can't please everyone, and my appearance might not appeal to every submissive, to those it does appeal to I want it to appeal as much as possible. But then you weren't asking about the importance of the dominants physical appearance were you? What you wanted to know was how do I, as a dominant, feel about the submissive's physical appearance. That's easy, take all the things I expect of myself above, and apply them to the submissive. Padriag what a wonderfully refreshing, and admirable, response to a question that replays over and over here and generally creates flames and insults..not to mention, misunderstandings. You have your preference ( as we all do) but you are not requiring anything of someone else you are not willing to require of yourself....

LordVelvet -> RE: How important is physical appearance? (8/9/2007 7:16:49 AM)
I would say that physical attraction it what is noticed right away. You don't see what is on the inside until you talk to them. It is true that some of the nicest people probable get over looked because of how they look but at the same time I know a woman who is super model pretty and no one talks to her. She says it is quite lonely. So there are two side to look at. Just My thought. LordVelvet

Cyntilating -> RE: How important is physical apearence? (8/9/2007 8:16:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom hello. yes, i have yet another question for all of the Wise Doms here. :) when seeking out a sub/slave, how important to you is physical apearence? i consider myself a very attractive person. but, admittingly, somewhat overweight. but i am seeing that weight, race, whatever doesn't seem to matter as much in this lifestyle as it does in the vanilla world. is this just my imagination? i am just curious as to how much physical apearence plays into your decision. Biracal I am not a wise dom, but I certainly had one for 10 years. If you ask him what was his initial attraction to me, he would tell you(because he has told me ) that it was 1st>the way I carried & expressed myself with confidence, 2nd that he could tell I worked from a place of strength and courage in my life not from weakness and whining about what wasn't right or was disparaging and that my inner beauty made me glow on the outside when I walked into Barnes and Noble to meet him for the first time......well and then Im sure he would add something about "da boobage"...gigglin.. my point is, as was one you also made, we all have perferences and define " what attraction is and what is attractive to us" differently... I think as individuals we attract the same energy we send out ...If I send out signals that I do not like myself, making apologies for the way I apprear to others, make more of an effort to highlight my weaknesses than I put forth in embracing what is great about me> than what choice would the other person have but to "see" those same thing about me? I am not everyones cup of tea > and you seem to feel the same way about yourself.. but, isn't that ok? I, personally, would rather they be upfront with me, so I can have an honest idea of "their" priorities ( because if you listen real careful to what a person says is important to them, you can really tell alot about that their general character and personality...IMO ) : ) and that could also tell me whether THEY are going to be attractive to me in that way... it is a 2 way street, afterall.. Some people look up into the sky to see if its sunny with clouds or without clouds..period. Others look up and see the shape and depths of the clouds...can see little bunny shapes in them sometimes...appreciate an overcast day as well as the sunny ones for the possibilities both hold...and can love a sunshower ! woohoo..love to walk in the rain.. I do not particularily find someone who is only superficial attractive ..and they probably wouldn't find me attractive. There will be those that focus on the fact that>> I am 49...I have things that sag that use to point..I use pillows for my knees when I kneel now....I not only have leftover babyweight I have grandbaby weight...kidding, but you get my point.. But there are also those, like my Master was, that see the bunny shapes and can embrace the sunshowers of life along with me... I am what I am you are who you are : ) and there is someone ( maybe even groups!) who will see your light : ) if you shine it for them ...

BeingChewsie -> RE: How important is physical appearance? (8/9/2007 8:38:41 AM)
It is -very- important to R, he has a type he is attracted too.

biracalsub4wmDom -> RE: How important is physical apearence? (8/9/2007 8:41:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cyntilating quote: ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom hello. yes, i have yet another question for all of the Wise Doms here. :) when seeking out a sub/slave, how important to you is physical apearence? i consider myself a very attractive person. but, admittingly, somewhat overweight. but i am seeing that weight, race, whatever doesn't seem to matter as much in this lifestyle as it does in the vanilla world. is this just my imagination? i am just curious as to how much physical apearence plays into your decision. Biracal I am not a wise dom, but I certainly had one for 10 years. If you ask him what was his initial attraction to me, he would tell you(because he has told me ) that it was 1st>the way I carried & expressed myself with confidence, 2nd that he could tell I worked from a place of strength and courage in my life not from weakness and whining about what wasn't right or was disparaging and that my inner beauty made me glow on the outside when I walked into Barnes and Noble to meet him for the first time......well and then Im sure he would add something about "da boobage"...gigglin.. my point is, as was one you also made, we all have perferences and define " what attraction is and what is attractive to us" differently... I think as individuals we attract the same energy we send out ...If I send out signals that I do not like myself, making apologies for the way I apprear to others, make more of an effort to highlight my weaknesses than I put forth in embracing what is great about me> than what choice would the other person have but to "see" those same thing about me? I am not everyones cup of tea > and you seem to feel the same way about yourself.. but, isn't that ok? I, personally, would rather they be upfront with me, so I can have an honest idea of "their" priorities ( because if you listen real careful to what a person says is important to them, you can really tell alot about that their general character and personality...IMO ) : ) and that could also tell me whether THEY are going to be attractive to me in that way... it is a 2 way street, afterall.. Some people look up into the sky to see if its sunny with clouds or without clouds..period. Others look up and see the shape and depths of the clouds...can see little bunny shapes in them sometimes...appreciate an overcast day as well as the sunny ones for the possibilities both hold...and can love a sunshower ! woohoo..love to walk in the rain.. I do not particularily find someone who is only superficial attractive ..and they probably wouldn't find me attractive. There will be those that focus on the fact that>> I am 49...I have things that sag that use to point..I use pillows for my knees when I kneel now....I not only have leftover babyweight I have grandbaby weight...kidding, but you get my point.. But there are also those, like my Master was, that see the bunny shapes and can embrace the sunshowers of life along with me... I am what I am you are who you are : ) and there is someone ( maybe even groups!) who will see your light : ) if you shine it for them ... cindy... WOW... that was beautiful! i am tearing up over here. :) what a wonderful way to look at things! you are an inspiration for me....

loverly -> RE: How important is physical appearance? (8/9/2007 8:44:48 AM)
loverly... i have tried to make a point of letting the Doms i talk to know upfront that i am overweight. i have a very young child, and put on weight durring my pregnancy, and have yet to drop it all. am i happy with the weight? no. but this is who i am for the time being & i tr not to let it get me down. i wouldn't let that guy get YOU down. if you told him from jump that this is the way you are, and he couldn't handle that much sexy, then that's his issue, not yours. :) i do and your right biracialsub hun! thanks for the support! there are alot of ppl out there and someone for everyone and yes i believe in being uo front and honest.. nice to get to know someone first before making judgements but some ppl cant do that and then too.. some ppl just are attraced to certain types.... i have been talked to by all my friends and they and you are right..i am not giving Him any room in my heart or head and am done with that! and .. take that lesson with me.. hugz hun! thanks again!

loverly -> RE: How important is physical appearance? (8/9/2007 8:48:57 AM)
lolol Grandbaby weight! thats it!! thanks cyndi! thts the cutest thing i have heard! can i use that please?? lol

favesclava -> RE: How important is physical appearance? (8/9/2007 8:55:20 AM)
although Master looks like my dream man , it was His eyes and His voice that really captured me. i have met others that fit the description but did not have what it took to keep me interested. one of my exes is not good looking at all even my mom ask if there was a blackout when we met.but his voice and his caring was enough . something has to attract you , but substance is what keeps you.

Cyntilating -> RE: How important is physical appearance? (8/9/2007 9:23:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: loverly lolol Grandbaby weight! thats it!! thanks cyndi! thts the cutest thing i have heard! can i use that please?? lol of course you can ! [;)]....

Padriag -> RE: How important is physical apearence? (8/9/2007 9:58:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cyntilating Padriag what a wonderfully refreshing, and admirable, response to a question that replays over and over here and generally creates flames and insults..not to mention, misunderstandings. You have your preference ( as we all do) but you are not requiring anything of someone else you are not willing to require of yourself.... Thank you. I learned a long time ago that appearance does make a difference in this world, it benefits anyone to do the most they can with what they have. To quote Emerson,"Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you." He meant that more about personal achievement, but it applies just as well to appearance and personal grooming.

michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: How important is physical appearance? (8/9/2007 10:01:04 AM)
i like the phrase "beauty is only skin deep, but ugly often hides deep inside"

mmb1 -> RE: How important is physical appearance? (8/9/2007 10:21:26 AM)
I never go by outside appearances, and as strange as that may sound, If I don't like the "inside", I don't want to see the "outside"! And I expect the same of me. I used to have my picture on, and saw the way, people judged me on what was "outside" rather than inside, and since I took it off, seems favorable to me :)

michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: How important is physical appearance? (8/9/2007 10:27:42 AM)
isn't that about the way it goes? people prefer the cover of a book, over the story.

BIllCT -> RE: How important is physical apearence? (8/9/2007 10:44:51 AM)
while appearances are what many go for out there in the world, I don't worry about what a woman submisisve looks like mostly. I worry more about what she is like personality wise, intelligence wise and sense of humore and sexuality too/. If she is over weight matters not really to a point of course, but if she has a personality, a sense of humor, intelligence and a sens eof her own sexuality and abilities, self confidence I will like her!

LaTigresse -> RE: How important is physical apearence? (8/9/2007 3:48:14 PM)
Physical appearance is very important to me. I want to be attracted to them and obviously if I don't think they are yummy then guess what, I won't be attracted to them! However, each of us have our own unique eyes. What is beautiful to me, may not be to another, and visa versa.

TallDominantMast -> RE: How important is physical apearence? (8/9/2007 4:18:17 PM)
Hugely important. For Me, it's quite simple. If a woman cannot take care of herself, then why on earth would I think that she has the capability to take care of Me?

kittinSol -> RE: How important is physical apearence? (8/9/2007 4:19:47 PM)
Yes, but have you noticed that at times there is a universality to beauty?

Grlwithboy -> RE: How important is physical apearence? (8/9/2007 4:24:21 PM)
I don't have types. I don't even pick based on genitals. I find conventional beauty often but not always dull. But I do have to be attracted, there has to be something physical that latches me in. I won't suffer through going through the motions and wishing I had something else to look at across the breakfast table and feeling guilty over it.

ludwig9 -> RE: How important is physical apearence? (8/9/2007 4:26:43 PM)
some are lovelier than others, but finding someone physically attractive is not different than just finding them attractive. I see no consistency in my own standards and therefore I think what is attractive it - to use a dreadful bit of marketing-speak - the "package", not someone's perfectly ordered features or what have you

Padriag -> RE: How important is physical apearence? (8/9/2007 4:27:20 PM)
Shouldn't come as a surprise that some standards, particularly the older "traditional" values, are more universal. They developed out of a natural social evolution tied directly to the fundamentals of life (i.e. survival). Physical attributes that indicated healthy, child bearing ability, ability to care for children (physically), ability to protect, etc. formed the basis of standards of beauty the world over. Likewise changes in that shouldn't be surprising either. As societies have shifted away from survival values to more abstract values and societies, our standards of beauty are changing too. Geeks are in because brain power has become increasingly important and the social standards are gradually catching up to that reality.

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