Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Question regarding gentle domination


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Question regarding gentle domination Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Question regarding gentle domination - 8/8/2007 6:23:54 PM   
MstrssJenny


Posts: 16
Joined: 6/23/2007
Status: offline 		Hi.  My girl has recently told me that she wants more dominance from me, but not really more cruelty or punishments or rules.  Now, I know what she means, kind of, as I must have said similar things to my Master a thousand times... but somehow I'm sort of stuck.  I don't seem to be grasping what it is that she needs.  Anyone have any ideas/suggestions?  Thanks!-- MstrssJenny
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Question regarding gentle domination - 8/8/2007 6:53:28 PM   
OrangeJulius


Posts: 122
Joined: 5/24/2007
Status: offline 		Maybe if you guys aren't doing much "sexual" domination, she wants that, or vice versa.

You didn't really say what you guys are doing, so we can't really give much input on what she might want. I know that if I told a mistress to be more dominant, I would probably mean less coddling and "are you okay" and more orders and (big maybe) violence. That's just me though, everybody's different.

(in reply to MstrssJenny)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Question regarding gentle domination - 8/8/2007 9:20:13 PM   
Smythe


Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssJenny

Hi. My girl has recently told me that she wants more dominance from me, but not really more cruelty or punishments or rules. Now, I know what she means, kind of, as I must have said similar things to my Master a thousand times... but somehow I'm sort of stuck. I don't seem to be grasping what it is that she needs. Anyone have any ideas/suggestions? Thanks!-- MstrssJenny




Rather than trying to figure it out, I would give her the task of writing down what she is imagining, and describing what she wants. Be clear that this is a tool you are using to understand her better, not that she is making a list of stuff you are necessarily going to do. If you are trying to figure out what she wants, then you are doing too much of the work.
Smythe




_____________________________

Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

(in reply to MstrssJenny)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Question regarding gentle domination - 8/9/2007 7:26:03 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssJenny

Hi.  My girl has recently told me that she wants more dominance from me, but not really more cruelty or punishments or rules.  Now, I know what she means, kind of, as I must have said similar things to my Master a thousand times... but somehow I'm sort of stuck.  I don't seem to be grasping what it is that she needs.  Anyone have any ideas/suggestions?  Thanks!-- MstrssJenny

*blinks* How are we to know what she means by her statement?  How about asking her?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to MstrssJenny)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Question regarding gentle domination - 8/9/2007 7:29:46 AM   
yrstocollar


Posts: 95
Joined: 8/14/2006
Status: offline 		I know exactly how you feel! Best of luck...

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Question regarding gentle domination - 8/9/2007 6:13:05 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Smythe is on the right track here...we can't answer that...but making her help is a great idea.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to yrstocollar)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Question regarding gentle domination - 8/9/2007 8:50:36 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		I would try to understand through discussion what to her represents dominance and submission (qualitatively and generally versus specifics with perhaps some specific examples as needed--it's not the same if a sub provides a list of specifics) and then use that information.

To take a shot in the dark, which is effectively what anyone can do in this thread, I would say choice of words and tone do much to create an air of D/s.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Question regarding gentle domination - 8/10/2007 3:52:23 AM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline 		Many submissives crave control. Give her daily task that keep her mindful and have her report to you. I really enjoy an intense dynamic so I create a style of communication when we are together. This is usually all it takes.

_____________________________



(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Question regarding gentle domination - 8/10/2007 4:13:24 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Hmmm, do you live together or just meet sometimes? It really is impossible to guess at whaqt it is she needs/wants, without knowing anything about the relationship. It's up to you to find out from HER. I understand she may not want more punishment or cruelty. I don't know what she means about having no more rules.

I have a sub I see every few weeks, but he is required to send Me a txt message every day to wish Me good morning and whatever. He also is not allowed to touch himself for anything other than washing and peeing (orgasm and mind control) and he has a daily ritual where he needs to send an email of his thoughts and feelings at the end of each day. Maybe things like that? It will keep her ever mindful of you and feeling controlled, without too much hardship.

Good luck!!

(in reply to DiannaVesta)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Question regarding gentle domination - 8/10/2007 6:25:53 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia
he has a daily ritual


Rituals and protocol are a good way to express the D/s roles.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Question regarding gentle domination - 8/10/2007 9:37:29 PM   
BlackCountessAZ


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		Turn up the heat on the role play... ham it up more... lay it on thicker, etc.

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Question regarding gentle domination - 8/10/2007 9:39:32 PM   
BlackCountessAZ


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		SHIT, why does it say VANILLA next to My picture ?

I HATE VANILLA !!

(in reply to BlackCountessAZ)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Question regarding gentle domination - 8/11/2007 1:12:56 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Well Jenny it's hard to know without more input ... can only guess at more authority? Perhaps more control over daily life things? Hard to say, but I agree, get her to write it down in some way or another. Second-guessing your sub is not the way to go imo.
And BlackCountessAz ... yeah We all hate the vanilla cones ... keep posting, eventually it will change!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to BlackCountessAZ)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Question regarding gentle domination - 8/11/2007 3:01:24 AM   
nick2020


Posts: 42
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline 		It seems as if the advice here is communication.  Mstrss Jenny the subject is "your girl' have her tell You or write down  what she wants.  This suggestion was made by a number of very experienced Dommes.. 

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Question regarding gentle domination - 8/11/2007 7:14:15 AM   
SadisticalDomme


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline 		It is true we can't know for sure where she is coming from with so little info but I know how I initially took it, that she just wants to feel Your presence more, in the little things like perhaps kneeling at Your feet as opposed to sitting by You, or being made to sleep at the bottom of the bed, perhaps an extra task meant to please You that would not fall under a chore, just gentle reminders of her place and Yours, that is how I take it seeing as it stated not more punishments or rules.

(in reply to nick2020)
Profile   Post #: 15
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Question regarding gentle domination Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.063