RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms?

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RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? - 8/11/2007 1:01:19 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

I wouldn't ever do that. But I made it clear before we even met that I am monogamous and need a partner who doesn't share either. Poly males and I aren't compatible.

You aren't not submissive if you have limits different than some man out there, it just means you wouldn't be a good submissive to him nor would he be a good dominant for you.

Few things in themselves are right or wrong, it's just an issue of compatibility.

(in reply to SirDominic)

Post #: 21

RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? - 8/11/2007 5:08:24 PM

Vampyrefledgling

Posts: 91
Joined: 7/10/2007
Status: offline

I couldn't do it. I want to belong to one man and want him to be possessive enough not to want to share me. You must decide for yourself how you would feel and fine someone who would feel the same. If you think it would be required of you and you're okay with it, rock on. If not, then that is something you need to discuss with your Master/Mistress.

Your level of submissiveness (is that a word?) isn't changed because you have limits. I have had to learn that. You are a submissive no matter what. Having limits makes you simply human.

~Fledgling

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 22

RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? - 8/12/2007 7:05:38 AM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic

This is one of those questions only you can answer. If this is something that would be hard for you, but you could do it without it being a negative experience, maybe. If you would do this only to obey, but would hate the experience, that is wrong. In the latter case, you should make it a hard limit and your Master should know this up front.

My slave and I were talking about this just last night. Being given to another is a hard limit for her. I have no interest in loaning her out, can't imagine I ever would, but assuming just for the discussion that I did want this, I still wouldn't ask it of her.

The reason is that I feel this puts her in a truly impossible situation. On the one hand she wants to oby me; obeying my commands is extremely important to her. On the other hand, she would feel degraded, humiliated, used to be given to someone else. This is a lose-lose situation for her. Her self-worth is too important to me. I want to help build her up, never tear her down.

For a completely different perspective, I have an acquaintance whose Master loans her out on a regular basis. She hates the idea of being loaned out, but once she is with another man, she gets incredibly turned on. Her Master knows her well enough to know the difference between what she says she wants and what she really wants.

So you do have to think this through for yourself. Is this something you really would be uncomfortable with? Or is the idea scary, but the reality intriguing? Only you can know.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

Very insightful...Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to SirDominic)

Post #: 23

RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? - 8/12/2007 7:21:44 AM

FSub77

Posts: 15
Joined: 6/15/2007
Status: offline

as a slave this is one of my hardlimits and ive spoken with quite a few Masters her on Cm that are cool with this, the idea of being loaned out terrifies me i'd just have to suffer the concequinces cause i wouldnt be able to bring myself to submit to that request

(in reply to SirDominic)

Post #: 24

RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? - 8/14/2007 1:17:49 PM

SubJordanTyler

Posts: 268
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

As I said before, she was always there to watch over the situation..........but that also made me feel like a whore, and I loved that part of it. I loved having to serve someone else while she watched, to do my best to please her no matter the situation...........and many times it was sexual. She'd even collect money from them sometimes, to really humiliate me into feeling like a whore. And it was never about her making money either. Sometimes she'd collect as little as $10-20 from each participant..........to make me feel humiliated..........to say that was all I was worth. As long as I pleased her, I was a happy sub.

(in reply to FSub77)

Post #: 25

RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? - 9/20/2007 10:39:55 AM

biracalsub4wmDom

Posts: 109
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

This is an old post of mine, but I wanted to comment on the feedback I got.
I really appreciate all of the replies, and I've been doing a lot of thinking on this issue sense my post. I've decided this is definately a hard limit for me. Like a pp stated, I want to belong to ONE man.
Being new to all of this, sometimes it is hard to know what your limits are until the situation comes up. I know very little, but when this scinerio came up, I knew down deep inside this was something I can not do.
Thanks again. Reading these replies has really helped. :)

_____________________________

blessings...

biracialsub

***Please respect that I am OWNED & not seeking a Master. Thank You***

(in reply to SubJordanTyler)

Post #: 26

RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? - 9/20/2007 11:16:25 AM

havingfaith

Posts: 28
Joined: 6/9/2007
Status: offline

So glad to hear you have taken the time to understand and make a decision that will be in YOUR best interest! hugs for that :)

my first Master loaned me out once, as a trade thing, and His so called friend kept telling me during sex that i was to tell him that he was better than my Master. i would not and he punished me for it and asked again for me to tell him he was better. Still i would not and got punished again. He then gagged me and went to tell my Master that i was bad and had to be punished for it. Master came in and punished me more without ungagging me to ask the situation. After, i told Him what had happened and He felt so terrible about it. He never loaned me out again but there was always that trust issue over it and we ended up separating.

Now i am happy and i don't think M would ever want to loan me out. Heck He doesn't even let anyone touch me. Maybe if He was there and it was humiliation for His pleasure while He watched, I would be open to that. But never again alone with anyone but M.

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 27

RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? - 9/20/2007 11:21:38 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1233183/mpage_1/key_hire/tm.htm#1233183
Slave for hire

I started this thread and it caused quite a stir lol.
Worth readng though even if i do say so myself.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 28

RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? - 9/20/2007 11:37:09 AM

MstrSkyWoIf

Posts: 238
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom

hi. i have been reading the threads, and i have been hearing mention of some Doms loaning out their sub/slaves to other Dogs, or other men in general for their sexual pleasure. is this fairly common? and do many of you have firsthand experience being "loaned out"? if so, how does it make you feel?
this is a subject that i have thought about a lot, and i fear that if i am ever asked or told to do this, that i am not going to want to submit to it. have any of you been asked or told to do this, and really did not want to, but did it anyway? how did you learn to get past the bad feelings about it?

I am with most of the people who have posted before me, it is a choice you must make for you. I see you have made it a hard limit you will not be shared in a lter post. As for myself no one other then me will ever have the pleasure of my slave as I value her. I am one Master who does not believe in loving, renting or selling my property.

< Message edited by MstrSkyWoIf -- 9/20/2007 11:38:50 AM >

_____________________________

this is just my opinion, I do not claim to be an expert on life. I am just Me, Love me or Hate me I really don't care. I am the culmination of my life's experiences. I am an ever changing block of clay molded by life's experiences on a daily basis.

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 29

RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? - 9/20/2007 1:17:46 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

~ FR ~

I have no issue with it, and find the idea rather hot. But he is not inclined to ever give anyone authority over me in any way. He might allow someone to top me, if he were there instructing how I was to be topped, lol. Actually something very similar to that has happened before. He has been offered money for me ($200 a pop), but because he could not be there to oversee it, he declined the offer.

(in reply to MstrSkyWoIf)

Post #: 30

RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? - 9/20/2007 5:19:11 PM

devotedsylph

Posts: 56
Joined: 8/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom

hi. i have beein reading the threads, and i have been hearing mention of some Doms loaning out their sub/slaves to other Doms, or other men in general for their sexual pleasure. is this farely common? and do many of you have firsthand experience being "loaned out"? if so, how does it make you feel?
this is a subject that i have thought about a lot, and i fear that if i am ever asked or told to do this, that i am not going to want to submit to it. have any of you been asked or told to do this, and really did not want to, but did it anyway? how did you learn to get past the bad feelings about it?

I might be reading a bit too much into this, but it is absolutely okay for you to have limits and not be okay with something. Just be sure to communicate this clearly to your Dom/Master from the beginning.

Personally, I'm definitely a For My Master's Use Only girl.

- sylph

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 31

RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? - 9/20/2007 5:28:15 PM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline

My Master has brought up the idea of lending me to a good friend of ours, but only if he is present through the whole thing, and definitely not as said friend's slave, temporary or not. He absolutely draws the line at allowing anyone else to dominate me, and to be honest I'm kind of grateful for that. I couldn't bear the guilt I'd feel from submitting to someone else, even if he said it was allright.

Some people are into that, though, and I definitely don't look down on them for it -- it's just not my thing. So if anybody is offended I apologize, that completely was not my intent!

You get bad feelings about something for a reason. It's usually your psyche's defense mechanism saying "Um, this is going to end badly." You definitely don't sound happy with the idea, so in my opinion you should make this very clear to your Master. If he loves you and cares about you he will listen to your concerns and not force you to do anything that legitimately makes you feel all twisted up and sick inside, or could damage you, whether emotionally or physically. You shouldn't feel ashamed for feeling icky about something! Underneath that subby exterior, we're all still people with feelings and emotional needs, and those still need to be respected just as much if not more than if we didn't kneel.

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 32

RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? - 9/20/2007 9:38:42 PM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

As a former owned sub, I was loaned out to hs friends for sexual pleasure. This I had prior knowledge that I would be before entering the relationship. When the time came for this to happen, I had mixed feelings about being used as a sexual toy. I did enjoy the sexual encounters yet I didn't like the idea that I had no say in the choosing who I would service, which meant I did service a few of his friends that I personally wasn't sexually attracted to! When this would happen, I would block my emotions and perform like a mindless robot! I do enjoy being shared, I find I have to be in some way, sexually attracted to that person I am going to have sex with.

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(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 33

RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? - 9/21/2007 12:05:02 AM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline

For me, being shared is a hard limit. Because of some things
in my history, I have to be in control of choosing my sexual
partners.

_____________________________

MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to beargonewild)

Post #: 34

RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? - 9/21/2007 5:07:50 AM

twistedkytten

Posts: 240
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline

I am lucky in that. as of yet, Master has no interest in sharing His property with other men whenever there has been interest by an outside party i am sure to beg and plead against it, and breathe an audible sigh of relief when He assures that He isn't keen on the idea.
Would i if He wanted it? absolutely. Would i like it.. NO.

_____________________________

Obedience is life, girl lives to serve her Master

(in reply to whiteslavebitch)

Post #: 35

RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? - 9/21/2007 5:54:21 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

The only way I would loan out my male sub is if I was present and if it were service only. By service I mean as in serving food/drinks at a party. Play perhaps with another Domme that I knew very well but no sex, thats an agreement we have as per his request.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to twistedkytten)

Post #: 36

RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? - 9/21/2007 8:07:27 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

quote:

Sometimes it worked out great, sometimes it was boring, sometimes it was excruciating.

That is the reality of it once you get comfortable (not shocked) by the mechanics of the situation.

This is a common hard limit for a good reason as my early experiences of getting this done to me was extremely tough and I could very well imagine it could have gone way wrong or been quickly a hard limit for me.

I can only tell you, and I do not mean this to be in a positive everyone should try it way, that I classify myself as a slave and it is important to give much of me away as I can and this certainly for me is giving up my sexuality to my Master. Nothing comes close in my experiences of feeling that I am truly owned then getting loaned out for sexual purposes.

The effect it has on me is what LA describes in the actual event but the order and after the actual use with my Master have profound affects on me that are positive, but it takes both partners to get something out of it.

Again a qualification that monogamy is not a big deal to me personally only but this has far more mental impact then having sex outside of your relationship.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 37

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