Eru
Posts: 15
Joined: 7/27/2007
Status: offline
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"Ok, so a good bit of the time folks consider it automatically "rasist" when we have preferences for whom we are more comfortable in a relationship with...not sure why, but apparently they do"
The reason racism is considered first is because of how often it is present. If you have preferences based on "race" and racism has nothing to do with it, you would be in the minority. And you would have to critically analyse your feelings to find out what the root cause was. Considering the wide variety of people, it's hard to imagine a non racist reason for prefering a partner on such a superficial level.
"is there any way to respectfully mention in an online profile that we prefer to be romatically involved with only certain races?"
You can say what your preference is, just don't expect anyone to be going out of their way to believe it is because of a sound reasons.
Unless it's just a slight preference not a deal breaker.
"and may actually insult people who would otherwise be interested."
I don't know if it would insult anyone. It would proably make them happy they saw it straight away. Better than thinking the profile is from a nice person, getting excited and then finding out. Dodged a bullet rather than insulted. That would appply to people of the preferred "race" who also didn't want to expose themselves to that kind of thinking.
"Personally I see nothing wrong with wanting to get involved with someone of a certain 'background' "
Isn't that extremely shallow? We know (psychology, sociology, anthropology, history, etc,) "race" has little to do with personality or intelligence, so why limit oneself to a small section of the population? That attitude says someone will settle for anything as long as the racial aspect is right, and reject a perfect match if the racial aspect isn't right? It makes no sense, and it's doubtful racism (or fear or ignorance) is not the motivation.
"I don't think it is racist or anything else. It is simply preference."
But where does that preference come from? What is the thinking behind it? I think the more you investigate, the more racism you'll uncover, even if it's fairly subtle.
"My preference is for someone with intelligence and humor and blah blah blah. Am I being discriminatory against those who are dry and lack intelligence or am I stating my preferences? "
That depends, are you eliminating a portion of the population based on a superficial often geographic feature, then only picking intelligence and humour if the superficial aspects have been taken care of? Considering how little "race" as to do with a person as a whole, it's difficult to imagine how it plays a big part in selection? Perhaps anyone who does select this way can explain the non racist reasons behind the decision?
"I think it's a little dangerous that people are confusing sexual preferences with true racism"
Assuming the two are seperate and one is not just a more subtle (or hibinating) form of the other?
"Here, this should be clear enough:
"I'm looking for a Caucasian": NOT RACIST"
Why not? Especially if that's the biggest factor, it looks like "race" is very much an issue for this person. The question has to be asked, why is "race" such a big issue for this person? What are they looking for in a person that only a caucasian could provide? Do they need to match their partner with their furniture?
In a profile you could say you wanted to find someone you could share things with, so someone of the same faith might fit. Or someone with the same cultural unbringing. or someone with the same sporting preference. But considering international travel, they could look like anyone and have any ancestory. Also those things are about who the person is, not where their ancestors came from.
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How to discuss "races" respectfully - 
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