RE: Looking for a Little Help Here...

RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (Full Version)

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SimplyMichael -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/9/2007 9:02:00 PM)
Jesus christ, I have never had any sympathy for male sub missives till now. He wrote that story because my woman asked him to because I told her it would be a good idea for him to clarify what he wants. Is it on the wanker side? Yeah, but so fucking what, any of you have a fantasy that is one sided, I sure as hell know some of mine are. Not knowing how things work here, he wrote a long email about what he offered and he should have shortened it to what he is trying to say. He WANTS to provide service He understands most submissives are attention whores and stated he could do it without loads of attention. So few get that, I would have thought that jem would have leapt out at people. He isn't expecting sex but is willing to provide it as he is willing to provide most things. They guy has said he has no problem meeting women, even pros but they want to date him, doesn't sound like he is someone who gives off bad vibes or bad breath. True I have never met or spoke to the guy but as I said before my woman has sat down with him and even had him (I think) do some errands for her. I think Akasha's advice was pretty good, and a few others, I am just really surprised by the vitriol and have newfound sympathy for male submissives now. I would THINK that a guy who isn't cheating, who is offering service, is willing to let someone really let their inner bitch out to play would be a lot of fun to play with. In a

kc692 -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/9/2007 9:29:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch quote: ORIGINAL: kc692 I was going to give an honest answer to the boy, and still think that there may be one out there for him, because after all, some of us could care less what a houseboy looks like, if that is truly all he is, but then I read his wank fantasy in his journal, which was written to look like it really happened just yesterday, and lost all the encouraging words I was going to offer. kc, housebitch has become a fairly good friend of mine in this past year. As a matter of fact, he is the one who told me about CM and anyone who reads my posts knows that this place has changed my life (*wink to SM). So I have to take responsibilty for him writing and posting that story to his journal. He was having a hard time conveying to me some thoughts and desires (they are still allowed to have some desires, yes?) and I told him to write them out.. I read it, thought it was very well written, and had him put it on his profile. OK, so I will freely admit to liking wank fodder (nods to Aakasha), so what's wrong with that? He writes well. I can tell you that he IS NOT looking for sex. He honestly and truly wants only to serve and be looked at as an unimportant thing.. Is there any sub here who doesn't want someone who they at least have some chemistry with? Please guys, I have been encouraging him to come to the boards for weeks to ask for advice.. Could you help the guy out just a little? It is a well written fantasy, and although I didnt meant to sound as harsh as I probably did, it is just that a fantasy. I truly meant it when I wished him luck..he is definitely within his rights to have whatever fantasy, and to his credit, with his looks, he just may have a chance. The parameters of what he wants are very small though, and as such he needs to expect that it will be hard to find those narrow specifications. As for a service slave, yes I have had them, and treasured them(whether or not I told them so, or treated them like the property they wanted to be treated as, smiles.) However, alot of us do not fit his parameters, so I truly meant it when I wished him luck. Believe me, if: 1) he was in NW Fla instead of S Fla and 2) I fit his parameters more, (smiles) I would be happy to help him out, not because of the way he looks, but what he MIGHT possibly offer a domme. You know him and therefore know he is sincere....I have meant alot that said they were, but expected a lot more in the way of play than what they alluded to at first conversation. To the OP: I truly do wish you luck.

marieToo -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/9/2007 9:37:44 PM)
Just put your needs, desires and preferences into a succinct summary in your profile. Then weed through 'em like the rest of us have to do.

velvetears -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/9/2007 10:48:21 PM)
The way you are presenting what it is you are searching for comes across to me more as a fetish and not as submissive. Your focus isn't pleasing the dominant, it's really pleasing yourself through doing something you want, on your terms, with her role actually scripted out for her (she has to act a certain way and call you names, etc) i am not saying there is anything wrong with this, just differentiating what it actually is and maybe thats why you are having a hard time finding someone. It might be fun for a dom to indulge you in your fantasy/fetish every now and then when SHE wanted to, to make it the terms of the relationship - who's really in charge then? Just something to think about [:)]

Aileen68 -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/9/2007 11:01:03 PM)
Well, you can still come and clean my toilet on your hands and knees as I ride your back and slap your ass with the toilet brush, screaming nasty little pet names. Yeehaaaaaa housebitch. Yeehaa. I find nothing wrong with trying to experience fantasies. I've been known to use this site for just that purpose in the past.

Grlwithboy -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/10/2007 5:24:20 AM)
I'm still puzzling over this completely. My fantasies are tightly scripted endeavors in which I act a certain way towards nameless and faceless men (not because of my objectification fetish but because I haven't settled on someone I know, or someone famous, or anything) reacting in a pre-imagined, pre-determined method when I throw various behaviors and stimuli at them, like "your face here" while tapping my shiniest pump on the floor. To which desired submale will put his handsome cheek on the floor and his tight little ass in the air with aplomb and no reservation. Because I require attractive too, not unrealistic ideals, but hot to me. This is what gets me hot. It's the sweaty magic without which I won't do. I don't sit there and ponder "well maybe that's not compatible with this submale's sense of submission" I just expect it and desire it and move on till I find the attitude I want. Is this just "Domme prerogative" or is this what we'd call a healthy sense of your OWN needs if this guy were a woman? I'm calling it the latter. Now I don't operate from some mystique of fifty fifty your turn my turn (except with this one guy I switched with....50/50 not always bad) and I don't allow subs to dictate the shape of things to come, but I also don't BOTHER with people who I'm going to bore when I get excited. I don't look at a cat and think "fuck, where's the wagging tail?" I don't belittle a bottom for being a bottom, I just see if he likes what I like and then use it. I'm so sick so personally sick of the notion that unless there are hugely conflicting interests, sexually, unless your whole F/m relationship is BASED around sexual denial, denial of every single gratification you're not doing "real" domination. I get it. I'm not here for the gratification of any mere male blah etc. I look for men who find gratification where I do, not men who have given up on the notion of gratification altogether. This may be why I have three really good ones. I'm sad that male/female relations are shitty and that a lot of guys approach lifestyle Dommes in ways that a litter-box-trained client knows NO professional would even bother with. But I also think the predominance of the selfish wanker is inflated, as is the predominance of the dangerous internets Dom. I simply refuse to make myself so miserable or so jaded. Yeah, a lot of the notes in my inbox aren't compatible with me, but very VERY few are oppressively selfish time wasting asshole notes. I think at least half the guys I've ever met accused of being "attention whores" or "selfish" are people no one bothered to talk to for any length of time.

Grlwithboy -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/10/2007 5:35:35 AM)
post dysfunction...

TankII7871 -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/10/2007 5:57:35 AM)
housebitch keep looking my other 1/2 thinks you would be great if we didn't live so far away. It would also Free up my maid for more fun things if she wasn't expecting in 2 months. Which means we have to find a temp to handle matters while she is out. I still wonder who the father of the maids child is. (packing bags) Seriously keep looking try the normal ways munchs, bdsm events. If you don't settle for less than you want and you keep looking you will find what you need to scratch your fetish itch. Eric

desiresluv -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/10/2007 5:58:14 AM)
I just wish you good luck..it seems when I have expressed an opinion in the past..it is wrong...so..I hope you find what you are looking for..~smiles~[:)]

AquaticSub -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/10/2007 6:02:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: housebitch my bottom-line question is: Can it be that difficult for a decent-looking, otherwise 'normal' guy to find an attractive, businesswoman-type to serve as a general servant and have her be a little selfish and demeaning toward him? Unfortantely, the bottom line is yes. In my vanilla days, I just wanted a nice guy who would hold doors for me, buy me flowers every now and then, was a good kisser, decent looking. This was in my pre-college days when I weighed 140, had C cups and worked out three to four times a week because I was teaching karate. Lots of guys were interested, yet I still had to go through so many assholes to find one decent guy who actually cared about me. It really doesn't matter how great you look or how great your personality is. Unless you just get lucky, you've got to kiss some frogs and some people have to kiss more than others. The bright side is that every strike-out gains you a little more information, a little more insight as to what you want and how to get it. My best advice: Enjoy the ride. You may find what you want tomorrow, you may find what you want in twenty years. Either way, if you enjoy the ride you will have a lot of a great stories to share when you do find the right one.

BossyShoeBitch -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/10/2007 6:30:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 Well, you can still come and clean my toilet on your hands and knees as I ride your back and slap your ass with the toilet brush, screaming nasty little pet names. Yeehaaaaaa housebitch. Yeehaa. Wait! aren't you a sub Aileen? LOL

dawntreader -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/10/2007 6:33:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 Well, you can still come and clean my toilet on your hands and knees as I ride your back and slap your ass with the toilet brush, screaming nasty little pet names. Yeehaaaaaa housebitch. Yeehaa. Wait! aren't you a sub Alieen? LOL ROFL!!!!!!!!!!

petdave -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/10/2007 6:36:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy I don't sit there and ponder "well maybe that's not compatible with this submale's sense of submission" I just expect it and desire it and move on till I find the attitude I want. Is this just "Domme prerogative" or is this what we'd call a healthy sense of your OWN needs if this guy were a woman? I'm calling it the latter. It can't be both? The "numbers game" means that it's far more the Domme's perogative than the malesub's... i think the prevailing attitudes of the Internet Femdom world have really emphasized the double standard, tho. IMO, in reality, it's impractical to expect that the malesub will sublimate ALL emotional/sexual needs to the Domme, and most people with experience on either side of the whip recognize that... however, it seems that in online discussion, that's an integral part of the game. No mercy for the weak! quote: This may be why I have three really good ones. Three! Nice to see that some Women are doing their part to correct the surplus! [:D]

camille65 -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/10/2007 6:59:15 AM)
Hi housebitch and welcome to the forums. I am with those few that don't understand the amount of derision you've received, regarding that my advice is to take what applies to you and mentally discard the rest. I thought it was a well written post, descriptive of you and what you seek. I wish I had an answer for you but really all I can say is keep trying. Personally (even as a sub) I would give it a go and at least try but ya live too far away lol. I'm willing to bet that you will find someone that fits your needs eventually. Lots begin not even knowing what they want so really you have a leg up in that regard. Maybe you ought to emphasize what you can offer instead of what you seek? Change the wording a bit so it is less about your needs because as you have read that seems to set people off. Good luck to you and I really do hope you find what/who you are looking for.

RCdc -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/10/2007 7:03:43 AM)
Hello housebitch. I have read the replies to you and really wanted to just throw in a bit of support for you. I don't see your style as 'unsubmissive and just fantasy' - you just plainly know what you would like. Submissives have desires and they can have fantasies. Nothing wrong with that whatsoever. It can mean that you are narrowing your field, but as long as you can accept responsibility for that - is all good. Your post strikes me as being a person who desires humiliation yet care - in the traditional sense of like you mentioned, a butler or manservent. I have no idea on your residential area, but maybe try searching for some groups that specialise in Victorian Eras... not specifically BDSM orientated but even a kind of reinactment group? You may meet someone there... just trying with helpful suggestions. My other suggestion is maybe open your field to include female switches, not just dominant women. I believe they may offer you something that a dominant woman couldn't - an 'understanding' from both sides. A switch doesn;t have to switch just inside a relationship - many are dominant to one person and submissive to another - so you may be able to encounter someone who could dominate you. Couples could be another option also - even cuckold. These could be an enhancment on your fantasy and I don't know if you have ever considered these as an option. I don't believe you should settle. But just realise it may take time to get exactly what you want. You haven't given any idea of timescale in how long you have been looking... so it could be six months or six years. I would also suggest maybe contemplate joining an agency as an escourt yourself? Have you ever contemplated that? That in itself could be humiliating, as well as serving short term - unless you are looking for a more permenant post or relationship - again - that isn't really very clear in your post or your profile. Peace the.dark.

camille65 -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/10/2007 7:23:33 AM)
It didn't strike me as fantasy or 'wank' (I need another word for that, I don't like wank lol) material. It didn't come across as a do-me post either. It was clear & well written. It was polite, open and honest. Oh, and it was not full of typos haha. Sure it says what he is looking for but ummmm isn't it a good thing he knows what he seeks? OP, I hope the mixed replies you have received do not put you off from continuing to post or ask things.

Grlwithboy -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/10/2007 7:33:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: petdave quote: ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy I don't sit there and ponder "well maybe that's not compatible with this submale's sense of submission" I just expect it and desire it and move on till I find the attitude I want. Is this just "Domme prerogative" or is this what we'd call a healthy sense of your OWN needs if this guy were a woman? I'm calling it the latter. It can't be both? The "numbers game" means that it's far more the Domme's perogative than the malesub's... i think the prevailing attitudes of the Internet Femdom world have really emphasized the double standard, tho. IMO, in reality, it's impractical to expect that the malesub will sublimate ALL emotional/sexual needs to the Domme, and most people with experience on either side of the whip recognize that... however, it seems that in online discussion, that's an integral part of the game. No mercy for the weak! quote: This may be why I have three really good ones. Three! Nice to see that some Women are doing their part to correct the surplus! [:D] Huh, yeah, maybe it is a 'net vs. 3D issue, but I'm not entirely sure. It's a good theory. That's me I'm a contributor! Heh.

RCdc -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/10/2007 7:37:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: camille65 . Sure it says what he is looking for but ummmm isn't it a good thing he knows what he seeks? I agree camille. I don't believe he should be made to feel that he isn't submissive for having desires and an idea in his head. Peace the.dark.

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/10/2007 8:33:23 AM)
Sounds pretty frickin' perfect to me... except that distance thing (go figure, huh). But that's always the case. I'm going through the "change"... which gives me a license to be a royal bitch... lmao *Jewel*

MrDiscipline44 -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/10/2007 8:53:51 AM)
Tsk tsk Michael. You've grown amazingly soft in your captivity. Don't tell me you're growing a mangina now. LOL. Why should this guy be treated any differently then anyother who comes here to piss and moan about not finding what they seek? Because your woman knows him? Get over it. He posts to these boards and he'll have to "seperate the wheat from the chaft" and "take the hits" as any other. To the OP: Yes, it's hard. Life isn't fair. Your a grown man, act like it. There are people that have been searching for years. Some for decades. As long as you hold out for this one fantasy to be fulfilled on your terms it may well be a long wait. You may as well get used to that notion.

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