May I ask Y/you all something?

May I ask Y/you all something? (Full Version)

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sweetcreeangel -> May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 3:28:19 PM)
I am currently in a relationship with a Dom.He is a really nice,sweet person.i am currently under consideration by Him.the other day he called me up and told me that He might have a sister for me.Then asked me if i was the jealous type.The thing is i dont know how to tell Him that i dont want a sister nor do i know how to ask Him how this is going to work.So,how do i ask Him with out over steping by bounds?How do i tell Him that i dont want the sister?

michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 3:30:11 PM)
be honest. better to bring it up now, than later

sweetcreeangel -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 3:32:35 PM)
lol i dont know about fun but it's interesting for sure

Celeste43 -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 3:36:18 PM)
Be straight forward with him and wish him and her good luck but that you don't share. And this conversation should have happened well before now. Personally I have only contempt for doms who wait until after they've collared someone to announce they're poly. An issue of this importance needs to be addressed upfront.

MySweetSubmssive -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 3:37:00 PM)
Say pretty much what you've said here. Tell him about your thoughts, feelings and limits (i.e., you aren't into sharing). Be clear and use non-judgemental language -- "I'm interested in a one-on-one relationship" rather than "You are a jerk!" Since you're new, I'll say that you have the right to set limits. You have the right to express your needs and expectations. If you don't want something in the relationship, you are not being a "bad submissive" to say so. He is considering you, but this is also a period in which you are also considering him. Good luck and welcome to the boards, MSS

Aileen68 -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 3:41:10 PM)
I'd say..."Fuck you. You couldn't mention that you were poly four months ago??? Buh bye"

MySweetSubmssive -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 3:42:53 PM)
Oh ... this is what my laptop looks like with limeade all over the screen. Cool. (mops up the mess) MSS

sexyred1 -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 3:43:54 PM)
I agree with Aileen68; get stepping.

angelic -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 3:47:09 PM)
Ask him to watch you as you walk out the door. [8D]

feastie -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 3:52:12 PM)
Being under consideration doesn't mean you're the only one under consideration. He is too. If you don't want a sister, tell him. If he doesn't want to respect that, then you need to stop the consideration and find someone who isn't interested in poly.

Tinman1960 -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 3:52:13 PM)
This topic should have come up in the beginning - before entering into a committed relationship. If you are not already in a committed relationship - be open and honest right now - before accepting his collar - better now than later...

sophia37 -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 3:57:38 PM)
There are three doors you can choose here. Door number one. Sub? Door number two. Slave? Door number three. Doormat. Door number one and two can take you elsewhere. Door number three?,..well

Level -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 4:03:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: feastie Being under consideration doesn't mean you're the only one under consideration. He is too. If you don't want a sister, tell him. If he doesn't want to respect that, then you need to stop the consideration and find someone who isn't interested in poly. What she said. [8\|] quote: I am currently in a relationship with a Dom.He is a really nice,sweet person.i am currently under consideration by Him.the other day he called me up and told me that He might have a sister for me.Then asked me if i was the jealous type.The thing is i dont know how to tell Him that i dont want a sister nor do i know how to ask Him how this is going to work.So,how do i ask Him with out over steping by bounds?How do i tell Him that i dont want the sister? As for not knowing how to tell him, just be respectful, and if he is as nice and sweet as you say, then I wouldn't think he'd be upset with you.

Padriag -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 4:08:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetcreeangel How do i tell Him that i dont want the sister? You tell him that. Might go something like this. This isn't something that I was looking for or can accept. I like you very much, but I can't be part of a poly relationship. I'm sorry if you didn't realize this about me, I don't recall you asking or discussing it before now. If this is something you really need, then I wish you the best with it, I want you to be happy... but it will have to be without me. Pretty much covers it, isn't rude or confrontational, but it is clear and firm.

BBBTBW -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 4:10:58 PM)
I don't know how long your prospective DOMINANT has been in the lifestyle. Is it possible that this is a new thing for him as well? Everyone is talking here like a Dominant doesn't have a right to change their mind or learn something new. You need to stop the progress with yourself and have some REAL communication, not just talking....The DETAILS are where the communication is. If you don't want this, tell him, give him the benefit of doubt. He might just feel you are worth the sacrifice for him. If he doesn't think that you are worth it, you are better off without him. However, just because he didn't mention it initially doesn't mean he was hiding it.....We all learn new things everyday and we are all HUMAN.....

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 4:19:55 PM)
Your profile says you are new to the lifestyle, so I'm sure your potential dom jumped on that fact. Unfortunately when we're new, we don't always think of every issue that may need be covered ahead of time. Paint me with the naive sign, but I had honestly never heard of poly relationships (other than polygamists) before coming into this lifestyle. So the fact that some dominant who contacted me would have wanted multiple sub/slaves, never even occurred to me when I first signed up. So obviously it wouldn't have been an issue I would have addressed, so I can see why you may not have thought to address it with your potential either. And there are sooooooo many things that need to addressed, which is why you will hear people tell newbies especially, to take their time before committing to anyone. Consider yourself lucky that you found out early on, although I'm sure it's no less of a shock for you. My suggestion is that you wish him luck with this other girl, and you move on with your life and find a dominant who, like you, isn't into poly relationships. Not that it will always help, because people don't always read profiles, but list polyamory as a hard limit and make that notation in your written profile. I'd also suggest that you read the message boards regularly because you can learn a great deal from the folks here. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you choose to do.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 4:42:34 PM)
I like what Level said.

dawntreader -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 4:45:30 PM)
Level, your fan club is out in full force tonight[;)]

Level -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 4:52:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I like what Level said. Me too! [sm=banana.gif] I hope your aunt is doing okay, LA.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/12/2007 4:53:32 PM)
Yeah me too! Biatches don't respond to my phone- but I'm ok with that because if something were wrong they DEFINITELY would have told me. You guys already have all this covered, I'm superfluous.

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