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RE: Chose or be Chosen - 8/13/2007 7:01:02 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i wouldn't say Daddy chose my per se - we mutually chose each other.  He was searching for a woman like me - naturally submissive yet like a little child lost in the woods (that's how He described me when we first met) needing guidance and nurturing hand to guide her.  on the other hand, i wasn't really looking for another dominant at all after leaving my former ...just someone to meet and hang out as friends.  that's how Daddy and i met - we started off as friends before moving into our current D/s dynamic.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to denika)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Chose or be Chosen - 8/13/2007 7:24:52 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Satyr6406
I believe this is the "standard" practice as it makes the most sense. I don't know many dominants that TAKE a submissive who's just walking down the street, minding their own business, bop them on the head and say: "You're going to serve me."

Yeah but I don't know any subs who walk up to a dom who's just walking down the street, minding their own business and say "I'm going to serve you." either.

IME it happens just as often that the dom approaches the sub to start getting to know you/courting as it is the sub approaching the dom.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Satyr6406)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Chose or be Chosen - 8/13/2007 8:03:56 AM   
Satyr6406


Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Yeah but I don't know any subs who walk up to a dom who's just walking down the street, minding their own business and say "I'm going to serve you." either.



quote:

ORIGINAL: Satyr6406

*puts on his flame retardant suit*
 
The way I understand/practice D/s relationships is that the submissive notices certain qualities in a dominant that they appreciate/admire. At some point, the submissive feels driven to serve that dominant in some way and offers their service to the dominant.
 
I believe this is the "standard" practice as it makes the most sense. I don't know many dominants that TAKE a submissive who's just walking down the street, minding their own business, bop them on the head and say: "You're going to serve me."
 
To be clear: There are certainly conversations that take place that let both parties feel secure enough so that they believe they won't be rejected (That's human nature) but, ultimately, I believe it's the submissive that chooses the dominant. That's the way it's always been for me.
 
 
 
 
 
Peace and comfort,
 
 
 
 
 
Michael


LA, had you read/grabbed the whole quote, you would have seen the part that I highlighted in red.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Peace and comfort,
 
 
 
 
 
Michael

< Message edited by Satyr6406 -- 8/13/2007 8:07:21 AM >

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,


Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Chose or be Chosen - 8/13/2007 8:18:46 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Oh no, I read that part.  I responded to the part I felt needed responding.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Satyr6406)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Chose or be Chosen - 8/13/2007 11:00:02 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie


Now he can't get me to shut up...


Maybe I should have sent him a gag instead of one of the Ugly Sisters.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Chose or be Chosen - 8/13/2007 11:51:21 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie


Now he can't get me to shut up...


Maybe I should have sent him a gag instead of one of the Ugly Sisters.

Celeste


Knock it off!! 

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Chose or be Chosen - 8/13/2007 11:55:06 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		we chose each other, first as friends, then as Mentor and mentee, then as Master and slave. but i never "offered" myself to him.

(in reply to YourShyPet)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Chose or be Chosen - 8/13/2007 12:20:38 PM   
aplayfulsub


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/30/2007
Status: offline 		He wrote me first. And I had several who wrote me. So I had to "choose" him. So we chose each other. I am not collared yet but but everything is going well.

In the past in a long term relationship, we both fell into it. I guess we chose each other in that. But the first 5 years or so was "vanilla" Then we started getting into BDSM. We were pretty isolated in our practices. Definately the relationship came first then BDSM became our lifestyle.

_____________________________

Don't just give trust, remember trust is more the faith you have in yourself and not just what you give to others. ~
10-14-06 *Shannon Yamabushi* Second Life

(in reply to denika)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Chose or be Chosen - 8/13/2007 12:36:09 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		He sent the first email. I'm pretty gunshy about risking rejection and preferred a dominant who was secure enough to handle it.

However although he chose to write to me, it was my choice to write back. We both choose to be in this relationship.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Chose or be Chosen - 8/13/2007 1:40:49 PM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you all so much for your thoughtful answers, I've enjoyed reading  them and learning how many met.

It helped me come to my own answers to questions I had been pondering. Thank you

denika

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Chose or be Chosen - 8/13/2007 6:57:32 PM   
teamnoir


Posts: 226
Joined: 4/5/2005
From: San Francisco Bay Area California
Status: offline 		Combinations. And at some level in the dance of approach, it becomes impossible to tell who picked whom.

(in reply to denika)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Chose or be Chosen - 8/13/2007 10:13:48 PM   
KiandPhoenix


Posts: 205
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline 		Before Phoenix and I got together, we had a couple weeks where we were (for lack of a better term) fuck buddies. I was still not in the BDSM scene, but the first time wee finally hooked up for an evening she told me that she never wanted to submit to someone so badly in her life. So I think she chose me. After we were officially together for a few weeks I made a comment about wanting to see a collar on her that said "Property of Ki", and she went nuts. I started learning right away. Negotiations started that evening.

So I think she chose me, but we might just have chosen each other.

~Ki

(in reply to teamnoir)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Chose or be Chosen - 8/18/2007 1:27:28 PM   
ta2dqt


Posts: 375
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		  Im still looking...................  :(

_____________________________

"Ask not that your Dom can do for you, but what you can do for your Dom."

"People are like fine wine, they get better with age!"

"Everything happens for a reason."



myspace.com/theoneandonlyta2dqt

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Chose or be Chosen - 8/18/2007 1:43:26 PM   
LadyIce


Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		For me, we usually select each other.
Normally, the submissive approachs me first, but after that I set the pace
and make the rules.
If the submissive is to anxious, eager, desperate or aggressive, than he is not
chosen.
I chose the good puppies that wait for me to decide if I want them.

< Message edited by LadyIce -- 8/18/2007 1:45:17 PM >

(in reply to ta2dqt)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Chose or be Chosen - 8/18/2007 3:58:36 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		i set a profile here, Sir pursued me and wouldnt take "i'm not sure" for an answer.  he kept pursuing me till i turned around and let him catch me.

kitten...."that's my story and i'm stickin to it!"

(in reply to LadyIce)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Chose or be Chosen - 8/18/2007 5:08:13 PM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		He emailed me first. But given his penchant for net fishing I did not feel chosen. We both liked each other and decided to meet.  And by then end of the meal I was soaking wet and his Cock was hard.  So for playing our parts chose each other.  

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to denika)
Profile   Post #: 56
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