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CreativeDominant -> RE: why cheat???? (3/17/2009 12:41:20 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper
I would imagine it's very hard for a man, who is supposed to be in a monogamous relationship, to say "Sweetheart, I want to fuck other women, but be with you." Maybe it's something someone with a great deal of experience in the d/s world feels comfortable with, but new dominants in particular are often plagued with thoughts of how every vanilla woman they've ever known would react. I constantly have to remind myself that My Pet is more understanding and patient than my past vanilla relationships.
Telling a woman "I don't want to be with just you." is hard. Most men have heard the "if you tell me about her, I'll be ok with it.." Outside of the d/s world, I'd say 94.62% of the time it's a clever rouse that ends with castration.
He cheated, he's a spinelss dirtbag. (and it's hard to write that as someone who was once a spineless dirtbag)
Not all men cheat. Not all dominants cheat. My advice is to find a man who is not afraid of telling you that your dress is ugly. I'm not saying find an asshole who will say "go change, Fatty!" but a man who is not afraid of telling you the things that a man in a vanilla relationship feels he cannot say.
"I disagree."
"No."
"I'm going to (insert place)."
"Wait here."
"I like the red one more."
"I liked your hair more when it was red."
"I don't want to do that." or "We're not going to do that."
"Wear the blue one."
You get the picture. Why? Because this man will likely be dominant enough in his every day going-ons to have the self discipline to be honest with you concerning the harder truths. (Like "I'm going to sleep around.")
Many men will have a hankering for more. Vanilla or not, things can get boring. A good fix for boring is a change. Good changes are getting into new types of play. Bad changes are cheating. Personally, if I want to fuck another woman, I just turn My Pet into another woman.... Or sex doll... Or a puppy that one time O.o!!
I have to say that I really like what this part of Heaven Keeper's post had to say. Let's be honest, with most women...submissive women included for as many posts have pointed out, for all our proclamations about being more open and accepting---which we can be in many ways---we are just the same as our "vanilla" counterparts...they will not hear the word "just" in the statement "I don't want to be with just you", they will hear every word but that. That is something the dominant who wants to be with others has to face up to and figure out how, if he wants that, he is going to do it in an honest way. For that, he will need to be dealing with a submissive who can handle dealing with the dominant honest enough to say things such as noted above in quotes.
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