planomaid
Posts: 77
Joined: 10/4/2004
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ORIGINAL: FitnessModel
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ORIGINAL: planomaid
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ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia
Maybe that was my fault. He sent me a couple of whiney, bitching messages and I KINDLY, yes I was nice the first time, tried to put him on the right path. The second time I wasn't so nice. He basically wanted to know why Dommes can pick and choose and male subs can't and why doesn't anyone love him. Oh well, my work here is done...................................................
Oh my, the dreaded 'why do dommes get to pick and choose' question. I think women, in general, and at least in the Western world, get to choose the relationship all the time. Why? Damnifiknow. That's just how it is. Men, for the post part, are the ones who are tasked to pursue their partner, and women, for the most part, can pick and choose amongst their suitors till they find the one that they want. Women can do the pursuit thing as well, but usually its much more indirect. At least that's been my observation to date
Our fair-weathered sub here is learning the painful reality of the fem domme world, and I daresay he doesn't like it. Perhaps he is honestly frustrated and confused, and his feelings and desires are not under control. I suppose we all can feel like that at one time or another. I know that I have felt the same things as he has, and at times the emotions have been overwhelming. Things like that happen, I write them down in a journal, or I just shut all feelings off and walk away until I have control again. Perhaps our frustrated friend is doing the latter and may reappear shortly under another handle. Hopefully he will do some research first, and at least read this old thread to learn something about his search.
Actually there are some very liberated countries such as Iceland, Sweden (I think?), Holland or Germany in which women are more foreward and approach men. Often these countries have a generally more liberated approach to sex. I dont believe that women approaching men is a form of female disempowerment, I think it works both ways and I would argue that women reaching out and "clubbing a man over the head then bagging him" could even be empowering for women so long as of course the man is respectfull towards her as is true of all sides of any coin. I even once read an article about how in one of these countries there was a training course for women to not be as overwhelming and foreward upon men to learn better how to date. Suprisinlgy there are a lot of women in the UK that approach men but not as many, I think that this correlates to the more repressed and confused attitudes in UK society towards sex such as how you are a mug if you dont lose your virginity as soon as possible or all these teenage pregnancies.
Compared the the West in some parts of the East women are treated badly, being set up with a man and having no choice in the matter for instance. In this instance it is the man that is approaching the woman while the woman is the obtained commodity but the nature in which it is done is actually quite disempowering for women. Personally I wouldnt put down who has more power than who based on who approaches who, I think it somewhat more complex than that an not as black and white.
I never attributed to women that they are disempowering theirselves by doing the approaching. Where did you get that idea? I spoke in general terms because it was a general statement - "in general" is what I said. I meant that. And yes, I specified the West specifically because there are many societies where women have far fewer rights (or none) than they do in the West.
The power in any relationship is the power to say yes or no. It's not that women cannot do the chasing, but I think (again I use Western examples) they prefer to be chased. And many men prefer to be the ones doing the chasing. So in general, it seems to work out. Of course you are always going to find everyone grouped in the middle/norm. There are going to be those who fall outside the norm, who have different views and requirements of their relationships.
I couched my entire statement to take into account that it was definitely NOT meant to be universally applied, ergo it is about as gray as you can get.
I think for the most part the rules of the society that you are brought up in shape your outlook and beliefs. When you become an adult, or you change societies (i.e. move), there is a higher liklihood of you questioning the norm, and trying to define what your personal rules should be. And in any society there are those that buck the system. Whether they do it in public or private depends upon where and how they are able to express themselves.
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a Mistress? - 
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