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Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 12:23:51 PM

satyrsnymph28

Posts: 379
Status: offline

I see some profiles sometimes and I think "how on earth did I ever develop an interest in any of this stuff"

I don't really have that much of an interest anymore... I guess.

I saw a profile just now saying something like "I am looking for a slut who desires a life of pain and torture"

and like, I'm cool with that in a play session or something, but I don't want a LIFE of that by any means...

Maybe thats what works for some...

I can't even figure out what interests me about the lifestyle anymore...

but I felt that way a couple years ago... and then got back into it again after having been away...
maybe I'll feel a calling to the lifestyle again eventually...

what causes you to love the lifestyle?

what do you hate about it?

do you come and go from the mindset of being interested in BDSM?

Post #: 1

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 12:27:31 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

I see some profiles sometimes and I think "how on earth did I ever develop an interest in any of this stuff"

I don't really have that much of an interest anymore... I guess.

I saw a profile just now saying something like "I am looking for a slut who desires a life of pain and torture"

and like, I'm cool with that in a play session or something, but I don't want a LIFE of that by any means...

Maybe thats what works for some...

I can't even figure out what interests me about the lifestyle anymore...

but I felt that way a couple years ago... and then got back into it again after having been away...
maybe I'll feel a calling to the lifestyle again eventually...

what causes you to love the lifestyle? My need for absolute power mwahahahaha. Acutally it's a part of me and I can't change that.

what do you hate about it? I can't think of anything I hate about it.

do you come and go from the mindset of being interested in BDSM? Never.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 2

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 12:31:48 PM

Grlwithboy

Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

I see some profiles sometimes and I think "how on earth did I ever develop an interest in any of this stuff"

I don't really have that much of an interest anymore... I guess.

I saw a profile just now saying something like "I am looking for a slut who desires a life of pain and torture"

and like, I'm cool with that in a play session or something, but I don't want a LIFE of that by any means...

Maybe thats what works for some...

I can't even figure out what interests me about the lifestyle anymore...

but I felt that way a couple years ago... and then got back into it again after having been away...
maybe I'll feel a calling to the lifestyle again eventually...

what causes you to love the lifestyle?

what do you hate about it?

do you come and go from the mindset of being interested in BDSM?

I have a very love-hate thing with public community minded BDSM. I've been very hot and cold about that.

I'm always thinking perverse thoughts and doing perverse things in my personal life. But I get very discouraged by the prospect of hooking up with someone because the shape of their perverse fantasies overlaps mine and for no other reason.

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 3

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 12:33:25 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

No. I do not. Being kinky is who / what I am, it's a part of me, and as such I do not ever loose interest and then come back to it..

quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

do you come and go from the mindset of being interested in BDSM?

_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 4

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 12:34:39 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

Lots of people cycle. I've not had it happen yet, but who knows about the future. The biggest bit of advice I have is.. DO NOT THROW OR GIVE AWAY YOUR TOYS. Pack em up and put them on a top shelf somewhere. While you may feel you'll not want this ever again most of my friends who have lost interest have come back after six to eight months.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 5

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 1:13:16 PM

slaveish

Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline

I have different moods. Sometimes I just want to be in a vanilla partnership dynamic, sometimes I want to be submissive. The vanilla thing doesn't work out too well for me though because I go against my submissive grain and become the dominant relationship force. It wears me out.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 6

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 1:15:33 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

There have been times when I was , inactive, but I never really thought I wasn't involved. On occasion I have taken a hiatus, but that has been after a relationship has ended. I like the Love the sense of control...:) but I am a romantic fool too and I believe that the depth of feeling in the lifestyle is or can be...greatly deeper than anilla?....relationship. So I stay and keep on keeping on..:)

Jeff

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 7

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 1:23:19 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

In the last 5 years or so, my commitment has been 'come and go'. Not so much that it no longer interests me, but that my needs and wants have changed so much that I am unsure which direction I am heading in and until I get a grip on that; it's not fair to drag someone else onto the rollercoaster.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 8

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 1:28:23 PM

charlotte12

Posts: 471
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline

I've gone through phases where i run like hell from anything at all bdsm. However i've come to realize that this is usually due to frustrations with the internet more so than with the "lifestyle". We are such an extremely diverse community and i think one of the biggest mistakes people can make is to expect that there is some one "lifestyle" out there. I have never even really liked the word because the truth is there are so many people living bdsm that i would guess anyone would be hard pressed to really define what the lifestyle means.

Anyway, my point is don't let some people who are a part of this lifestyle define what it must mean to you. Sure we all come across our fair number of horny internet sleezes but i don't think that's any different then in real life. If you go to a bar you're far more likely to meet some creeps just looking to hook up than if you go to say, a sailing class. Same with this, you're going to find a ton of people online that are not to your taste since the anonimity of it lends itself to creepiness. That doesn't mean that we're all creeps or that they really reflect on the lifestyle anyway. I'm here and i'm not a creep...i swear!

Ok, that was just my lunch time rant. I hope you don't get too fed up. I have enjoyed reading your posts here and i think you're one of those people that help make this community just that, a community. :)

_____________________________

Stephan's slaveling

"I'm not superior, I'm just more important." Master (Stephann)

"When you are your freest self, who are you?" Jack Rinella

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 9

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 1:32:13 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

It's a fairly good question that is deserving of an answer....I do not look at this shit as being any type of a community. It is the same as going to church and then reading about another church in Texas that canceled the memorial service because the guy who died was gay....You would simply say, "Wow. those people really suck ass." But I doubt you would question whether you would still want to attend your own church....Maybe not the best analogy but it will have to suffice.

Everyone is different...Probably what you seek is someone who gets "you." It has nothing to do with the wants or needs of others. Just because someone suggests a need that you are diametrically opposed to has no bearing on you or your needs in any fashion.

I like the forums...I don't agree with many, but there are some folks that I really enjoy out here...Why I choose to participate on the other side is the hope that I will find someone who shares the same wave....I thought that I might have more luck out here than on eHarmony.com....

I think you have to think about what type of person that you are...What type of person that you hope to attract and where is the best place to look for that individual....It might be here, eHarmony, the grocery store, prison, or church....You are the one who must decide.

_____________________________

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 10

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 1:32:58 PM

MistresssAria

Posts: 165
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline

I'm going through a bit of a cycle.......haven't really been in the mood to Dominate much for a little while, but then I started an apprenticeship that's draining my energy. I get like that every once in a while. Especially when I read some of the mail I get - some of it's great, but some of it's so amazingly ridiculous..........hah, that won't just turn you off of Domination, it almost turns you off of the human race!!!

But eh, don't worry about what freaky stuff other people are into......maybe try something new?

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 11

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 1:42:41 PM

satyrsnymph28

Posts: 379
Status: offline

its like... the internet is what i do at work all day... the only thing in my job description is to answer the phone when it rings... thats like... twice a day... its not a busy office...

so i just sit here and read shit and comment...

and think how strange some of these profiles are...

and my dislike right now... well it stems from somewhere obviously...

the way i describe what i want is... a man who will take charge when it comes to vanilla sex... who can be my equal when it comes to the vanilla outside world... and value me as Domme in all other aspects...

apparently thats not BDSM enough for some...
but its what i want

so when that comes along, maybe i'll develop more interest in the scene again...

but for now... bleh...
i'll just read and post :)

p.s. when i saw Domiguy reading my post, i was a little excited :) his responses are always great... and informative in a smart ass kinda way

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 12

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 2:28:22 PM

SmokingGun82

Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

What do I love about this lifestyle? That's a ridiculously hard question for me... I could rattle off a dozen different things pretty easily, but it really boils down to it fills something inside me. Corny, whatever, it's true.

What do I hate? Oh man... I guess it's not really much different than in any other group- I can't stand the hypocrisy, or the people who insist on "one twue way." I wouldn't like that in a Fantasy Football group, or anything else, though, so it's not really lifestyle specific.

And I'll second what BeachMystress said about not throwing away toys. That can end up being a huge mistake.

_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 13

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 2:38:11 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Interest in play comes and goes. Interest in being with a strong man I can trust to have my best interests at heart, never.

(in reply to SmokingGun82)

Post #: 14

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 2:49:06 PM

MsBearlee

Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

what causes you to love the lifestyle?

I love the playful nature of most of it...the willingness to explore, to trust; the personal growth that comes from that.

what do you hate about it?

Well, I certainly do NOT like that it is difficult, in a small town, to find like-minded people. I've discovered the 'dark side'...and I'll never go back; it's hard to be single and refuse to date vanilla. In a small town one is hardly 'invisible'. In this same vein, I find it sad that the general population finds WIITWD so damned objectionable! I hate that people can't just let 'different' people...be!

do you come and go from the mindset of being interested in BDSM?

Never. Having said that, randiness does sorta come and go; perhaps like the tides? I'm always interested, but sometimes I don't chase it, if ya know what I mean. Regarding the exchange of power/control/authority... that is something I have come to seek always. It never goes, it is always with me.

_____________________________

A must read for submissives! (click here)

This one, as well!

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 15

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 2:50:59 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Definitely DON'T throw out your toys! I know people who have done that and really regretted it when they came 'back'.

Speaking as One who's done the hiatus thing, yeah, it happens. Sometimes, We get discouraged, or suffer a loss (like Myself) and it just doesn't seem to be 'there' anymore. In My case, I think it just went to sleep for a while. There are a lot of things associated with that, and I don't talk about it much on the public forum. As to your questions......

What casuses Me to love the lifestyle? Power, control, structure, pain, sensations, Domme space, taking one to subspace, the rituals, the weapons.... ok... enough of that.

What causes Me to hate the lifestyle? The times that it is unfulfilling, the losses, the fakes, some of the changes that have come from the net, the lack of high participation in My town.... I'm sure there's more mixed in, but I'll leave it at that.

I hope your discouragement will pass. Believe Me, I spend some time thinking about what could have been different had I not taken a hiatus. These days, I tend to shrug it off, as I do with other decisions in My life where I chose to go right, instead of left, and what might have happened had I followed another road. I'm firm in My path at this time. That's good enough for Me.

(in reply to SmokingGun82)

Post #: 16

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 2:53:50 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

For me, being Dominiant was part of who I was way before I even knew there WAS a lifestyle for it. I was thriled to find out that there were people out there that wouldnt think my personality was a problem and who would actually enjoy, not just tolerate, how I behaved.
There is only one thing I hate about the lifestyle, and that is the fact that it has become a fashion statement for some people. There are a lot of players in the lifestyle who are doing it just because they think its cool to be bale to say they were a Domme, or to be able to call themselves a sex slave. They have no real interest in the lifestyle, but they muddy the waters for those of us looking for someone real.
Do I go in and out? Yes, but then agian I go in and out of the midset for being a sadist, for dating, for bieng a writer... my interest in tings waxes and wanes constantly. I figure the interest i the lifestyle is the same as the interest in anything else. When it gets too frsterating, eventualy I just give it up for a bit, let the frusteration simmer out and then go back and try agian.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MsBearlee)

Post #: 17

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 2:55:03 PM

pagankinktress

Posts: 80
Joined: 8/12/2007
Status: offline

I totally can understand the occasional waxing and waning a person might experience in relation to their BDSM interests and desires. We're all human, and our ideas and attitudes shift, grow, and change. Overall, for me I'd have to say that while there have been times when I've felt like I need to back down a bit, I think its been a growing process where I ultimately end up feeling stronger about my desires than before.

Why I love BDSM...for me, its a terrific creative outlet. I really enjoy the exchange of power in a D/s situation and while it isn't something I feel a need to be involved in 24/7, its such a potent learning experience for me and for my partner. That's something I thrive on in all facets of my life--the opportunity for constant learning.

I've only been experimenting in BDSM for a couple of years and I can't say I have found anything I particularly *hate*...the only thing that bugs the crap out of me is when people get locked into stereotypes. Diversity is key and I love being constantly surprised by people.

quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

what causes you to love the lifestyle?

what do you hate about it?

do you come and go from the mindset of being interested in BDSM?

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 18

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 3:05:34 PM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

Here's an expermiment.

Go to Wallmart at 2am. Stand by a checkout register, and say to yourself "I'm going to count the number of people I would ask on a date, based on how they appear, out of the next hundred."

See if you can find one.

Apply this logic to this website, or a munch.

Just because you share an interest in kink, doesn't mean there's going to be an interest in anything else. Finding relationship partners in any setting is hard. Why judge the one you want to be with, by the hundred you don't?

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to pagankinktress)

Post #: 19

RE: Lacking Interest - 8/14/2007 3:07:20 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

Wal Mart? hehe I'm a Target Girl *S*

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to Stephann)

Post #: 20

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