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RE: Lacking Interest - 8/15/2007 2:48:15 PM   
satyrsnymph28


Posts: 379
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wow, littlesarbonn... you replied to one of my posts...

i feel honored

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/15/2007 10:00:25 PM   
realtuffdom


Posts: 108
Joined: 7/16/2007
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Bah, littlesarbonn is a moron. Not great like realtuffdom!

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/16/2007 12:32:17 AM   
FullfigRIMaam


Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple
Wal Mart?  hehe I'm a Target Girl *S*
Me too, am a Target girl...  I saw on the news Walmart is not doing as well as it did a year ago, and it's probably from my switching to Target given how much I spend there.  

As to the lifestyle question:   I'm in the trying to give a shit again mode, since life matters took a front and center seat several months back, putting my libido on hold...  When it is in full gear though, I cannot separate myself from what we do;  I can downgrade my involvement in it (outside of my personal relationship) to darn near nothing though.    M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/16/2007 12:38:53 AM   
Alhazred


Posts: 134
Joined: 7/31/2007
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TARGEIT r0x!
Death to the Red Chinese Outlet Mall.


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"A Great Smelting Pot" - Chuang-tzu

(in reply to FullfigRIMaam)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/16/2007 1:59:33 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline
satyrsnymph28: realtuffdom even writes poetry: Just read his journal. It's bad poetry, but Hey - isn't that what all real tuff Doms write?

Could this be part of the reason you are losing interest? No offense to all the Doms (just realtuffdoms. The Ford tuff Doms)...!

Of course, writers like ExSteel make it all worthwhile....(and in real life, littlesarbonn is a writer, too. He is just kidding with the realtuffdom alter-ego thing).

Hey, I say take a break if you need it. I've done it. I started a thread on this idea a few weeks ago, and a lot of other people also said they've done it as well. You know what they say....you can leave for awhile, But - once you've tasted Chocolate, you can never go back to Vanilla, hehe. You'll be back..eventually.

P.S. to littlesarbonn: I dig the avatar for realtuffdom. Too cool. (realtuffdom also has a Star Wars fetish, as expected).

Alhazred: Yes, all of my Summer lawn chair cushions were made by exploited Chinese prisoners - 'cuz I bought them at Target (then again, I'm a Domme, so I don't mind as much. To think I could have bought them at Pier 1 Imports for only about 400% more...where was my head at?!! ).  *China isn't all that Red anymore. Not according to TIME magazine. Capitalistic tendencies are slowly taking over the country - at least in some of the bigger cities there (although many rural areas are rampant with severe exploitation of citizens, I've read). Anyway...back to the topic.

To the OP: Don't worry. It's normal, IMO, what you are thinking. Relax.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/16/2007 2:35:41 AM >


_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Alhazred)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/16/2007 2:39:21 AM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
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sigh
and I realize, after returning from work, and reading over this post again > that I misunderstood the topic...groan..so my response was about " why keep coming back to the boards" vs coming back to the feelings/lifestyle stuff....
how embarrassing..
guess that's what I get for posting at 5am before coffee...
 
so sorry to all
committed to paying better attention next time >>


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Cyndi

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/16/2007 3:16:50 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
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I'm shocked at the level of intolerance here.

How DARE you knock Walmart?  Let's respect other people's values and beliefs, thank you so very much. 

After all, as the OP said, BDSM comes and goes... but shopping is FOREVER.

(in reply to Cyntilating)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/16/2007 10:00:21 AM   
satyrsnymph28


Posts: 379
Status: offline
idk how my thread got taken over by walmart, but shopping is forever, this is true...



littlesarbonn: i think its so funny how we kinda ended up in the same place and that after ending things with eachother.  maybe our relationship provoked a much needed adjustment of the way we thought about things and what we really wanted... i wasn't able to specify exactly what i wanted until after we had been together... a good relationship clears your head... its nice to know what i want... so... thanks

Cyntilating: No one addresses the issue at hand in these posts usually anyway... they just talk about whatever and hope its closely related... lol... so no worries

I'm a Target girl too, actually... haha

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/16/2007 12:29:17 PM   
SusanofO


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Joined: 12/19/2005
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satyrsnymph28: I don't think it's unusual to get to a point you think you need a break from the BDSM world. I know I've read other people have these feelings sometimes, too. If you need a break, I think there is nothing wrong with taking one.

- Susan 

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/16/2007 1:22:13 PM   
satyrsnymph28


Posts: 379
Status: offline
i can't walk away from this site though... its one of the only things i enjoy on the internet...

but then i get the shitty mail from boys who want me to own them...
and it pushes me further and further away from ever getting back into this at all...


its not that i lack interest in the lifestyle... not exactly...

i lack interest in trying to mill through the bullshit to find one good one... and then you have to test the waters, and learn about eachother...

(this is turning into a completely different post...)

and then you don't have the same interests... possibly... and then its all a waste of time...

or you find someone whos interests match yours... and everythings cool... but for some reason he never thought to look at where i live... to then lead to "oh... i don't do distance"

because AMTRAK one way from Modesto to Oceanside is $58 and Greyhound round trip is $111.45 and both trips are 9+ hours...

and BDSM doesn't exist in the central valley... (well it does... but not to the extent that it does in bigger cities, ofcourse)... so people who match my interests and are local... are REALLY tough to find... and then when you take into concideration the fakes... that narrows it down to like... one person... and i already dated him... and it didnt work for reasons other than all those i've stated already...

so i guess i'll just stick around this site to rant and rave on the boards... and wait for someone to show up who pretty well matches my wants and needs...

its more rare to hear someone in a successful D/s M/s relationship say "eh... i'm taking a break..." than it is to hear a single person say "fuck this garbage... i'm through... for now"

i think finding the right person, or lack there of, is a huge reason why people take breaks...





(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/16/2007 1:29:24 PM   
realtuffdom


Posts: 108
Joined: 7/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28


its more rare to hear someone in a successful D/s M/s relationship say "eh... i'm taking a break..." than it is to hear a single person say "fuck this garbage... i'm through... for now"



I think I have "fuck this garbage...I'm through...for now" as one of my permanent macros. Although I have a strong feeling, I'm going to be taking the further step of just deleting my profile completely and removing myself from everything bdsm for good this time.


_____________________________

Always, Ram Ford Tough....

I have lots and lots of experience at domination. Now I'd just like to try it with a partner....

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/16/2007 1:50:39 PM   
satyrsnymph28


Posts: 379
Status: offline
it would be sad to see you go...

you're such a... role model... for all the other doms out there...

(in reply to realtuffdom)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/16/2007 1:53:51 PM   
realtuffdom


Posts: 108
Joined: 7/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

it would be sad to see you go...

you're such a... role model... for all the other doms out there...



I'd probably stay. The submissive guy would probably have to go.


_____________________________

Always, Ram Ford Tough....

I have lots and lots of experience at domination. Now I'd just like to try it with a partner....

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/16/2007 1:57:46 PM   
satyrsnymph28


Posts: 379
Status: offline
i prefer the submissive guy over you... if i'm being honest...

i used to see him fairly often... i wonder where he went

(in reply to realtuffdom)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/16/2007 2:00:22 PM   
realtuffdom


Posts: 108
Joined: 7/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

i prefer the submissive guy over you... if i'm being honest...

i used to see him fairly often... i wonder where he went



No idea.

(hides the shovel and the strange mound in the backyard)


_____________________________

Always, Ram Ford Tough....

I have lots and lots of experience at domination. Now I'd just like to try it with a partner....

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/16/2007 2:11:41 PM   
satyrsnymph28


Posts: 379
Status: offline
no killing people in my thread... especially your own self...





(in reply to realtuffdom)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/16/2007 2:23:24 PM   
Vampyrefledgling


Posts: 91
Joined: 7/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:


what causes you to love the lifestyle?


The openness of it. I can express any fantasy, any desire and know that I won't be mocked or ridiculed for it. I don't have a fear of being shunned because I like being slapped, or because I like being tied up, or because I have a rape fantasy or whatever. That is a rare thing. Being able to express those inner desires is not something that many vanilla people can do and it isn't until there is some sort of crisis in the relationship that they are even encouraged to do so.

quote:

what do you hate about it?


The openness is a double-edged sword. I love that I can talk about my desires, but I also hate that I am (or would be, I've never actually been in a real D/s relationship yet) expected to try to fulfill my Master's desires even if I am not particularly turned on by them. Part of being a sub is learning to do things that don't necessarily work for me in order to please the Dom. Learning how to submit fully, and not just in the bedroom is a very difficult thing to learn. As much as I love it, I hate it as well and wish (rarely so) that I wasn't this way, if only because life would be easier. But anything worth doing is going to be difficult, right? That is how I know that this world is what I truly want and need.

quote:

do you come and go from the mindset of being interested in BDSM?


No, I don't think I do. While it's true that I find romantic 'vanilla' things charming as well, the BDSM things that seduced me into this life never lose their hold on me. I'm always pulled to the same men, always swayed by the same things and it never fails that I will be desirous of rough sex. Variety is a good thing (I wouldn't want anything to become tedious), but as far as coming and going from a mindset of BDSM, submitting to a man I love will be easy I believe and something I want to do, not something I will have to convince myself to do.

~Fledgling

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/16/2007 2:41:19 PM   
teamnoir


Posts: 226
Joined: 4/5/2005
From: San Francisco Bay Area California
Status: offline
I hate that some people use the word "lifestyle". And I hate that some people think that only 24/7, full time, TPE, monogamous relationships qualify as bdsm.

My interest in bdsm hasn't really changed much over the years. What changes is the availability of partners. To me, bdsm is part of a spiritual path that includes elements of neo-shamanism, neo-tantra, modern magick, neo-paganism, and several other disciplines. That's what interests me. Exploring. Learning. Playing with life.

Of course, good sex is also a bonus, but I'd still be playing with SM even if it didn't include any sex whatsoever.

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/16/2007 4:11:01 PM   
NeverForget


Posts: 7
Joined: 8/15/2007
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I did not read the rest of the responses however I am hoping that as a "newbie" and "fresh" to the life I may remind you of what you possibly loved about the life to begin with. 

The fact that with myself (sub) someone has complete and utter control and it is something I have never experienced is such a turn on.  In other words I am merely assuming that your partner or lack there of is not taking you to hightened levels reminding you of  why you found the lifestly exciting to begin with.  If I am wrong please forgive me as I am merely projecting upon my current situation in hopes that what I am saying might have to do particularly with your situation.

(in reply to Grlwithboy)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Lacking Interest - 8/16/2007 4:49:57 PM   
SeanPony


Posts: 169
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline
Edit: Got mixed up and posted here by mistake.

Sorry for fucking up/ Hope you are having a good time out there :)

< Message edited by SeanPony -- 8/16/2007 4:52:50 PM >

(in reply to NeverForget)
Profile   Post #: 60
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