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Topping - 8/14/2007 7:54:23 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		As many already know, I'm a submissive and masochist. I thoroughly enjoy bottoming and highly doubt that will change anytime soon. Within the last few months, I've been getting curious about topping. I have co-topped a few times on violet wand play which was a blast and I'll do again when opportunity arises. More and more, I find myself wanting to learn to top using floggers, paddles, canes, crops, etc. I have no desire to be a Dominant. I simply want to learn to top and let out my sadistic streak on occasion.  I would greatly appreciate hearing about others' experiences in learning to top as well as advice, feedback, etc.  I know when I'm ready for hands on learning that I have a few friends locally who can work with me and show me.

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RE: Topping - 8/14/2007 8:43:06 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Just go for it and have fun.  Seriously.  That's what I did in the stage of my life I now call as a "topling" and I just went out and explored what there was to explore. 

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(in reply to SweetSarijane)
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RE: Topping - 8/14/2007 9:47:05 PM   
hsagnev


Posts: 188
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline 		I've never really played before so I wouldn't be of much help, but I can relate to masochistic and sadistic need/wants/desires. Anyway, you'll have to keep us posted as you learn more.



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RE: Topping - 8/14/2007 10:12:06 PM   
dsjen


Posts: 8
Joined: 2/20/2006
Status: offline 		I don't really have any experience in topping so far, but I will be learning how to do that very soon here - my desires are very like yours in your post. Sounds like you and I are setting out on a similar journey Sarijane!

Best of luck to you!

(in reply to SweetSarijane)
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RE: Topping - 8/14/2007 10:44:52 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Topping and being a Dominant are two different things. One is a set of skills and the other is a role. I know plenty of slaves and Masters who enjoy both sides of the whip.

Master Fire

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RE: Topping - 8/14/2007 10:52:13 PM   
fungasm


Posts: 321
Joined: 8/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Topping and being a Dominant are two different things. One is a set of skills and the other is a role.
Master Fire


Can we get an Amen from the Chorus?  That's an exquisite to clarify things.

Alison

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: Topping - 8/15/2007 12:05:01 AM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		I give a definite Amen on that. Topping is what I want to explore, not dominating. Thank you for posting the distinction Master Fire.

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RE: Topping - 8/15/2007 12:07:13 AM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		hsagnev I will do that.

dsjen thank you

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RE: Topping - 8/15/2007 12:09:52 AM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		LA That's basically what I plan to do especially after getting a taste of it co-topping on violet wand play. Me being me, I want to hear from others as I get ready to take that step <grin>.

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Deviant Mind
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RE: Topping - 8/15/2007 10:35:15 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		I know how it felt the first time I co-topped on elec. play. Quite a feeling and a rush. For others who enjoy topping, what was it like for you the first time you topped someone?

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Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

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RE: Topping - 8/16/2007 7:01:20 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Privately it was a lot like "Wow I'm REALLY doing this, this is so cool"

Publicly it was a lot like "OMG don't fuck up"

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SweetSarijane)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Topping - 8/16/2007 11:46:54 AM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		<grinning> I can so relate to that. I'm betting that's how I'll be the first time on my own.

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Deviant Mind
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RE: Topping - 8/16/2007 12:27:38 PM   
MsBearlee


Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Topping and being a Dominant are two different things. One is a set of skills and the other is a role. I know plenty of slaves and Masters who enjoy both sides of the whip.  


Dang!  Do you really believe being 'Dominant' is a role?  I admire so much of what you say here; perhaps this is just semantics.
 
I see Topping as the 'giver' in a S/m relationship.  'S/m relationship' being where a Sadist and a masochist come together for long or short term.  It is mostly PHYSICAL play.
 
I see Dominance as wielding the power/control/authority given up by the other.  To me the Dominant is a natural leader, guide, teacher, mentor...but it seems too organic (to me) to call a role.  It seems a character trait...or personality type...to me; more a mental thing.
 
OH, and having said that... I AM a natural Top.  I love the physicality of it; swinging floggers and whips... yummmmmmm! 
 
Add the ability to express my Sadistic side...to control and torment another; it's a rush!   
 
Also, I know what I feel from the other side of things...what it takes to give it up for another.  That someone is willing to give that to me is quite an honor, too...which seems to feed the beast!  LOL
 
Beverly 

< Message edited by MsBearlee -- 8/16/2007 1:10:49 PM >

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RE: Topping - 8/16/2007 2:14:55 PM   
Damocles809


Posts: 532
Joined: 7/12/2006
Status: offline 		If it feels good, do it.  Worry about labels after. 

Topping during play isn't going to make you "less of a sub" to anyone but the most narrow-minded imbeciles, (a.k.a. most lifestylers).  



(in reply to SweetSarijane)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Topping - 8/16/2007 3:26:05 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		Thanks and I don't worry if I'm sub enough. I got over that pretty quickly. I don't think my desire to top in any way lessens my being a submissive. It's simply part of who I am. I know who and what I am and I'm happy with me. I'm fortunate to belong to a group where others are very accepting of one another's choice of orientation and desires.

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Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

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Profile   Post #: 15
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