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Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 9:15:12 AM

Gemeni

Posts: 255
Joined: 2/19/2005
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I'm wondering how prevalent this is. On another bdsm site I frequent,we seem to hear a lot about male subs who masquerade as Dominants.(and no,they never seem to mention the word 'switch" when flagging as a Top)

They will carry on the charade for a while to get close to a fem sub,and then try to dive for the bottom. Hoping she turns out to be a closet Domme,I guess. But what usually happens is that the other sub gets pissed off at the deception, gives the jerk the boot,and ends up with trust issues over it.

So I'm interested in hearing,is this bullshit as common as I think it is?

Post #: 1

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 9:26:26 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

I've seen a lot of it the other way around... subs that are really Dominants... or switches.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to Gemeni)

Post #: 2

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 9:28:19 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

So I'm interested in hearing,is this bullshit as common as I think it is?

I started a similar thread a while back: a sheep in Wolf's clothing- I stress similar because I saw it as curiosity and not a ruse.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Gemeni)

Post #: 3

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 9:30:29 AM

Faramir

Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gemeni

I'm wondering how prevalent this is. On another bdsm site I frequent,we seem to hear a lot about male subs who masquerade as Dominants.(and no,they never seem to mention the word 'switch" when flagging as a Top)

They will carry on the charade for a while to get close to a fem sub,and then try to dive for the bottom. Hoping she turns out to be a closet Domme,I guess. But what usually happens is that the other sub gets pissed off at the deception, gives the jerk the boot,and ends up with trust issues over it.

So I'm interested in hearing,is this bullshit as common as I think it is?

You have got to be shitting me Terry. I've watched you change orientation (and profile nicks) at B.com from Dom to switch to sub to Dom again.

Is this some kind of parody? Performance art? I mean dude - you are the poster child for this.

(in reply to Gemeni)

Post #: 4

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 9:39:04 AM

Tempestspet

Posts: 360
Joined: 1/13/2005
Status: offline

I think, and especially after reading Faramir, that this is fairly common.

I think it depends on how desperate the person who is bouncing around is.

Maybe, it's more of just a top and bottom thing, and not a Ds thing at all.

Hmmm... just my 2cents for the moment.

Smiles,
Tempest's pet
jennifer

(in reply to Faramir)

Post #: 5

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 9:46:30 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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It happens a lot, and it happens even more so unconsciously.

The same way I think most submissives are actually vanillas who like to bottom.

(in reply to Gemeni)

Post #: 6

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 9:57:45 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

They will carry on the charade for a while to get close to a fem sub,and then try to dive for the bottom. Hoping she turns out to be a closet Domme,I guess. But what usually happens is that the other sub gets pissed off at the deception, gives the jerk the boot,and ends up with trust issues over it.

I know a lot of dishonesty is common within the scene. However, these same people are always alone and if they do manage to find a partner it is only for a short time...usually less than a year. Then they are back on the market looking again.

All depends, do you want to be happy for life or for a few short month's?

(in reply to Gemeni)

Post #: 7

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 9:58:58 AM

LadyAngelika

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Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I know a lot of dishonesty is common within the scene.

Why is it that curiosity is so often associated with dishonesty?

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 8

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 10:00:27 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

The first boy that we played with claimed to be a switch, leaning towards Dominant ... since he played with us, you can guess which role we felt he was in most of the time. Even when he said he was in "Dom Mode" he was incredibly submissive ... but he knew what submissives wanted and how to give it to them, so he thought that made him a Dom. I don't know that he did the "bait and switch" like in the OP, but I do know that the closest he came to being Dominant was when Holly almost killed him (and really, he was just being an ass).

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 9

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 10:06:34 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

Why is it that curiosity is so often associated with dishonesty?

Look at these board's for one. If you take the time to actually read what people say they change their stories so often, you don't know where they are standing at the moment. Let alone a lifetime. Yet, not many say..."yes I've been educated..Now I think this way"

Or "I've changed my mind" Everyone speaks in absolutes all the time.

Many people are predators.

For me, I live my life with integrity. Period. I feel integrity is the only thing that cannot be taken from this in this life. We are born with it. We can give it up as so many do. Or we can save it.
Bottom line is...I can have 25 advanced degrees. An accident can rid me of ever using them...so many things can happen to us on a daily basis.
I can make million's that can be taken from me. Look's come and go. The only absolute is our integrity.

In this lifestyle, every time I play with my dom he is holding my life in his hands. He must be trustworthy. If you lie about something small you are still lying which means you would lie about something larger. How can you ever trust that person who just lied to you?

I use these boards as the biggest example. Because all of our post's are archived here. It is relatively simple to pull up any one of our screen names and do a search, start reading.
Many dishonest people here. Also a few good ones.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 10

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 10:07:10 AM

Gemeni

Posts: 255
Joined: 2/19/2005
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No Farmir I have NEVER gone to switch or bottom since 1995,you are full of it.

I HAVE been torn between Dominant and TOP, and maybe that's why you are confused.

Way back when I tried subbing,and it wasn't me-I have never looked back. Three months out of ten years hardly qualifies me as a "switch" dude.

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 11

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 10:11:23 AM

quietkitten

Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline

Perhaps these people just are not sure of where they fit in this world. They take their best guess and assume that because they have certain traits that they are either Dominant or submissive, only to find out later that they were wrong.
I have spoken to a few people who believed they were submissive for years and then suddenly realized that they were actually a switch. They had been denying it because they had been in the sub role for so long.

(in reply to Gemeni)

Post #: 12

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 10:12:11 AM

Gemeni

Posts: 255
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

Now while I can understand being unsure-I can't understand the lying part.

It all comes out in the end-prefferences will always out, and if you don't have the experience,it's going to show. So I guess I am just mystified as to why people pull this.

Are they really so desperate?

(in reply to Gemeni)

Post #: 13

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 10:12:46 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

Yes, I still get these emails on a regular basis, but I am being addressed as a FemDom, and the boy says "I am really a submissive", or "I will only submit to you."
And I have the same problem with boys who say they are submissive, but they proceed to argue with Me that I should be doing it another way. So I have become a bit cynical, and very firm in an initial exploration. Probably not fair to the few boys who really have their heads together.
In the end I think that most of them really have no idea what they are, except horny.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to Gemeni)

Post #: 14

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 10:14:24 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

Maybe just confused. It happens. We are all human.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Gemeni)

Post #: 15

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 10:20:30 AM

Gemeni

Posts: 255
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

Well GoddessDusty,if it's any consolation a lot of alleged "femsubs" are the same.

"Serving" to them means they get treated like spoiled little princesses. To my way of thinking, it means you put forth an effort beyond getting lots of orgasms. While the Top carries most of the load, and drags her along behind him.

I'd have to wonder just who was wearing the collar in situations like that.

I'm not confused,I avoid those kinds.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 16

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 10:22:33 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

"Serving" to them means they get treated like spoiled little princesses. To my way of thinking, it means you put forth an effort beyond getting lots of orgasms. While the Top carries most of the load, and drags her along behind him.

And for some people, this works just well. So they aren't fake, they just aren't for you.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Gemeni)

Post #: 17

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 10:28:55 AM

Tempestspet

Posts: 360
Joined: 1/13/2005
Status: offline

Well, I can speak for what I know....

I own my own company, make my money, contribute....and so does he.

Yet I fully, and completely belong to my Master. I do not get my way all of the time. And I don't stomp my foot, which wouldn't work anyways. He is the boss. Period.
According to some, the fact that I don't get my way, and what I want...for ...well until he deems fit that I should have whatever it is... I would be gone by now. But I'm not. This is the life I chose to live.

Of course, not everyone is like this. Some subs, slaves, would be gone... or would balk at the idea of be asked to make a positive contribution to the relationship. That isn't what they are there for. So if they are not what you want, you have given yourself the long, and hard task of being patient, and waiting to find one that is.
Then again, some subs, and slaves are just like me in these respects....

I'm sorry you are having trouble.... but look at it from a nilla persepctive, would you expect someone to drop their entire life.... for an unknown? I hope not. It's not reasltic.

Anyways....I hope I helped...somehow...

Tempest's pet
jennifer

(in reply to Gemeni)

Post #: 18

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 10:30:19 AM

Gemeni

Posts: 255
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

I'm just giving another example of a dishonesty that springs from not knowing yourself.

Don't talk the talk if you won't walk the walk.

And I didn't say they were fakes-just time wasters from someone who takes them at thier word.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 19

RE: Subs in Dom clothing? - 7/5/2005 10:31:45 AM

siamsa24

Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

And for some people, this works just well. So they aren't fake, they just aren't for you.

- LA

Exactly. I have been called a fake and been told that I am not a "true" anything because of my relationship. Yes, I get treated like a princess and I have a lot of control over many things, I guess many would consider me to be topping from the bottom all the time. But that works for us and our relationship has been going strong for over two years. It works for us, maybe it's just not for you.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 20

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