Rejected Hallmark Cards

Rejected Hallmark Cards (Full Version)

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johnnyak -> Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/16/2007 7:02:58 PM)
Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder:... -- What was I thinking?" "Congratulations on your wedding day!... -- Too bad no one likes your wife." "How could two people as beautiful as you.... -- have such an ugly baby?" "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love... -- After having met you, I've changed my mind." "I must admit, you brought Religion in my life... -- I never believed in Hell until I met you." "As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... -- that you're not here to ruin it for me." "As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me... -- Like the need for therapy." "Thanks for being a part of my life!!!... -- I never knew what evil was before this!" "Before you go,... I would like you to take this knife out of my back. -- You'll probably need it again." "Someday I hope to get married... -- but not to you." "You look great for your age... -- Almost Lifelike!" "When we were together, you always said you'd die for me... -- Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."

pinkpet -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/17/2007 1:54:15 AM)
These were so funny, the one about bringing religion into my life, I am going to use as my myspace quote. Thanks~

RubberWitch -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/17/2007 1:29:17 PM)
You've been glowing for months, Your tummy grows bigger lets hope your white husband forgives you your indiscretion My favoritest grandma I'm sorry you're ill think of me now as you're updating your will

johnnyak -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/17/2007 4:56:15 PM)
[:D] Im feelin the first one!

MastersMaiden -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/17/2007 5:20:47 PM)
OMG i love these!! Too funny. "As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me... -- Like the need for therapy." This is literally my mother :) dies of laughter -MM

becca333 -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/17/2007 10:31:16 PM)
There's a few of these I'd buy!

HypnoticDan -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/18/2007 12:35:28 PM)
We all bang your wife, when you're out of town We hope that this film will ease your frown. Sincerely, All the guys from the office

Damocles809 -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/18/2007 9:43:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: johnnyak "You look great for your age... -- Almost Lifelike!" "Happy 50th Birthday! You don't look at all like you're 50! --But you used to!"

MadameMarque -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/19/2007 2:55:16 AM)
"Today, father, is Father's Day And we're giving you a tie. It's not much you know, It is just our way of showing you We think you're a regular guy. You say that it was nice of us to bother. But it really was a pleasure to fuss. For according to our mother, you're our father, And that's good enough for us. Yes, that's good enough for us." Harry Ruby/ Groucho Marx

MadameMarque -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/19/2007 3:00:44 AM)
"I [heart] your indiscriminant sexual behaviour"

nyrisa -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/19/2007 3:05:57 AM)
Sorry to hear you're feeling poorly; I hope that soon you'll be just fine! Keep on waiting for that new kidney Cause you ain't getting one of mine.

VadFarkas -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/19/2007 5:52:42 AM)
If you ever need a friend... Buy a dog.

HypnoticDan -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/19/2007 9:14:25 AM)
Your mind is like an open book. Page 1: The End. (or how about the one I saw on a shirt yesterday) Don't let your mind wander. It's too small to be left outside alone.

Termyn8or -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/19/2007 9:54:23 AM)
I think we could sell these. How's that for a business idea ? T

Saratov -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/19/2007 10:08:42 AM)
[sm=confused.gif] You say Hallmark rejected those?!? [sm=whoa.gif] What were they thinking?!? [sm=dance.gif] [sm=mrpuffy.gif]

johnnyak -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/20/2007 7:13:33 AM)
They OBVIOUSLY were not thinking were they!! I better get making these cards there's serious money to be made [&:]

Termyn8or -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/21/2007 5:28:56 PM)
This reminded me of a joke. Dude shows up at work all beat up, bandaged and swollen, says his olady did it. Said he wanted to be romantic and wrote her a poem (not from Hallmark) : Nappy hair nappy hair, Eyes like a frog, If I could roll you over, I'd do you like a dog. How about that for a Valentine's day card ? T

HypnoticDan -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/23/2007 8:16:39 AM)
We're sorry for your loss. In these dire times, remember... ...it was probably a massive Orwellian conspiracy orchestrated by the government to undermine your basic freedoms because simply taking advantage of your own inadequacies to achieve their ends is an idea to guilt-ridden for you to contemplate. Love,

nyrisa -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/23/2007 4:59:29 PM)
"My Darling, on this, our anniversary, I want you to know that I am just as happy, and just as honored to be your wife, as I was on the morning I woke up with a hangover in Las Vegas and realized we had gotten married. Hang onto this card, because if the gun doesn't misfire this year AGAIN, you won't be getting another one."

MadameMarque -> RE: Rejected Hallmark Cards (8/23/2007 5:15:22 PM)
Very heartfelt...but I'm thinking, too specific. There can't be more than a couple hundred people, a year, who can use this card, and those are the people who either bought that unlicensed firearm from an unreliable source, or don't know how to clean a gun. ...and, those are the kind of people too disorganized to remember it's their anniversary, and buy a card. ...and there ya go - You've got no market. "I say, if you can't be immortal, why bother?" - from A New Leaf, screenplay by Elaine May

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