RE: How kinky is your dominance? Are you a "doer" or like to be done?

RE: How kinky is your dominance? Are you a "doer" or like to be done? (Full Version)

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MzMia -> RE: How kinky is your dominance? Are you a "doer" or like to be done? (8/17/2007 10:40:31 PM)
Nice digs, but I want a relationship with a submissive that will provide those services/duties as I request them. Every weekend or so, should be like staying at that hotel, except I am at home. That is the POINT of having a submissive that will Do for his Mistress. [;)]

SDFemDom4cuck -> RE: How kinky is your dominance? Are you a "doer" or like to be done? (8/17/2007 11:30:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ocilla Okay -yall have to check out the viceroy hotel in Santa Monica and take a look at the pool picts http://www.viceroysantamonica.com/spa/index.html. OMG got to stay there on busness a few times and the pool is paradise. These sexy tented rooms with sumptuous couches - all that is missing is a swarthy boy with a large fan. I have to say - I did not get as much work done as usual the temptation to lol around the pool was intoxicating. I'm with you on that. I've stayed there a few times and that pool is absolutely wonderful. There used to be a massuese there that was devine! I still get squirmy thinking about him. drool Now if I could just have that same atmosphere at home. With my own personal cabana boy played by my male wifey.

thetammyjo -> RE: How kinky is your dominance? Are you a "doer" or like to be done? (8/18/2007 6:14:41 AM)
I didn't say in my post I was or was not a "doer" or that I was "receptive". Mine is a DS based dynamic, it requires us both to maintain that relationship. The concept of "doer" or "receptive" really isn't something that makes much sense for us. If one wanted to break it down into specific activities I could but the OP was about the relationship overall. quote: ORIGINAL: ocilla This sounds good to me. But in most of my life and I am the "doer", very much the energy and the person making things happen - so the part that I like best is being in the receptive role, where it is all about my desires and pleasure and restoration. Afterall, in my professional life I am literally trying to save the planet and create huge market, gvernance, culture and social shifts - thats a lot of responsibility and very draining at times. re-filling me up and restoring me, nurturing me, means that I am more effective in the rest of my life which is a role where I serve for the greater good. So I could easily do with the receptive, serving part alone - but do like a bit of kink spice yet not driven by it. If kink with me as the doer had a big effect on my sub/partner then I am more inclined to practice it but it is more about doing it as a gift rather than because I like to inflict pain etc. And at times being a doer or giver can be emensely satisfying. Also, I do enjoy the artistry and creativity and mastery involved in s/m and bondage but I could live without s/m and bondage with absolutely no angst as well. But being served, being the authority, being in the driver's seat, being catered too in simple, sweet, passionate and often sexual ways is what I long for, yearn for and crave. And for me that service component is not so much about cleaning my house or doing errands and tasks - it has more to do with satisfying my desires for pleasure and helping me accomplish goals. quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo My relationship with Fox is primarily about authority -- mine authority from him to make decisions and demand whatever in the areas that I desire. In that sense "kink" things are like spices to a very good and healthy meal. We generally do something that resembles a traditional BDSM scene once every three weeks I think. However we have daily rules and rituals that help us maintain the authority or DS of the relationship. Fox has certain fetishes he likes to indulge in but all of them take hours of time (3 minimum usually to make them "worth" doing for him). We wouldn't give up our kinky activity but it is not what drives our dynamic.

Grlwithboy -> RE: How kinky is your dominance? Are you a "doer" or like to be done? (8/18/2007 10:14:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha If you are the femdom in your relationships, do you take an active and/or kinky role? Or, do you desire to be catered to in a variety of ways, where the submissive is the more active partner, attending to your requests? Without getting into semantic issues regarding "top" vs. "dominant," how often is your "kinky" interaction with your submissive - ie, bondage, strap on, smothering, chastity, cbt, spanking, flogging, etc. -- vs, how much is your relationship about "receptive" dominance, ie "foot worship, massages, cleaning, etc." How often do you need a kinky release? Could you enjoy your relationship, minus the "kink" part and just be dominant? Does your partner have a higher or lower "need" for kinky bdsm? Akasha My Dominance is an offshoot of my sadistic, kinky top, rope fanatic self. I'd rather have an upturned bottom in front of me than a sink full of clean dishes. Life is short.

LadyClaudiaVan -> RE: How kinky is your dominance? Are you a "doer" or like to be done? (8/18/2007 7:28:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha If you are the femdom in your relationships, do you take an active and/or kinky role? Or, do you desire to be catered to in a variety of ways, where the submissive is the more active partner, attending to your requests? Without getting into semantic issues regarding "top" vs. "dominant," how often is your "kinky" interaction with your submissive - ie, bondage, strap on, smothering, chastity, cbt, spanking, flogging, etc. -- vs, how much is your relationship about "receptive" dominance, ie "foot worship, massages, cleaning, etc." How often do you need a kinky release? Could you enjoy your relationship, minus the "kink" part and just be dominant? Does your partner have a higher or lower "need" for kinky bdsm? Akasha My Dominance is an offshoot of my sadistic, kinky top, rope fanatic self. I'd rather have an upturned bottom in front of me than a sink full of clean dishes. Life is short. I'de rather have a clean house, massaged feet and a happy, well taken care of vagina then have a male standing there waiting for his nut sack to be twisted and pulled or a male lying there waiting for his ass to be spanked or pounded. Ah, but one can only dream....[:D][:D][:D]

LadyClaudiaVan -> RE: How kinky is your dominance? Are you a "doer" or like to be done? (8/18/2007 7:30:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia quote: ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia quote: ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia I'm a DO ME kinda Domme. In a perfect magical land, I'd be pampered, sexually satisfied, massaged and worshipped, all in a clean house, continuously preferably. I'm such a lazy girl[:D] Come sit on the Do Me Domina couch. We can sit by the pool and wait for our cute cabana boys to bring us fresh margarita's! Damn skippy I am with it. Did someone say margaritas? And cabana boys? Let's make them dance. Although I think lounge chairs would be lovely with little canopies over them. I'm fair and I burn easily. I'm there with you MzMia and SD!! I burn easily too, so I suggest a sexy boy each to rub sunscreen onto our bodies (yes, I know we're under canopies, but are you going to knock back a gorgeous boy rubbing you all over with something slippery?)[:D] Ooooh, me me me me toooooo!

LadyIce -> RE: How kinky is your dominance? Are you a "doer" or like to be done? (8/18/2007 7:39:53 PM)
Me four, I want a peach margarita, unsalted.

MHOO314 -> RE: How kinky is your dominance? Are you a "doer" or like to be done? (8/19/2007 7:03:00 AM)
*I am a doer--that is how I came to realize I was what I was, I didn't like waiting and what I got was always disappointing, along with the fact that I simply lead and control life better----* *so I do, I initiate, and I direct--when a boy delivers that--he gets the best as well.*

Privatedetector -> RE: How kinky is your dominance? Are you a "doer" or like to be done? (8/19/2007 9:28:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 *I am a doer--that is how I came to realize I was what I was, I didn't like waiting and what I got was always disappointing, along with the fact that I simply lead and control life better----* *so I do, I initiate, and I direct--when a boy delivers that--he gets the best as well.* Hell dont all mistresses like to be the doer. Tell her subby to clean her house, tell him to kiss her ass out, tell him to draw her bath, tell him to rub her feet, tell him to run her errants, tell him to pleasure her orally, tell him to pay the bill, tell him to clean her delicate sutff in the gentle wash. That's a doer alright.

littlesarbonn -> RE: How kinky is your dominance? Are you a "doer" or like to be done? (8/19/2007 9:50:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ocilla Okay -yall have to check out the viceroy hotel in Santa Monica and take a look at the pool picts http://www.viceroysantamonica.com/spa/index.html. OMG got to stay there on busness a few times and the pool is paradise. These sexy tented rooms with sumptuous couches - all that is missing is a swarthy boy with a large fan. I have to say - I did not get as much work done as usual the temptation to lol around the pool was intoxicating. You know what's amazing about that? I grew up in Santa Monica, and that location used to be a major dive hotel, lots of drugs and really unsavory characters. It's amazing what a few decades can do to a town.

MistressDoMe -> RE: How kinky is your dominance? Are you a "doer" or like to be done? (8/19/2007 11:45:37 AM)
I take a very active and very kinky role. I am actively making my submissive tend to MY needs and desires, whatever they happen to be. Good service and hard work reaps great rewards. : )

LadyPact -> RE: How kinky is your dominance? Are you a "doer" or like to be done? (8/19/2007 1:56:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha If you are the femdom in your relationships, do you take an active and/or kinky role? Or, do you desire to be catered to in a variety of ways, where the submissive is the more active partner, attending to your requests? Without getting into semantic issues regarding "top" vs. "dominant," how often is your "kinky" interaction with your submissive - ie, bondage, strap on, smothering, chastity, cbt, spanking, flogging, etc. -- vs, how much is your relationship about "receptive" dominance, ie "foot worship, massages, cleaning, etc." How often do you need a kinky release? Could you enjoy your relationship, minus the "kink" part and just be dominant? Does your partner have a higher or lower "need" for kinky bdsm? Akasha In the current situation, I would have to say I'm higher on the "do-er" side, with probably something like a 75%/25% split. However, as things progress, I expect things to come closer to a 60%/40%. That is due to a few factors, such as time constraints and location availability. In My situation, it takes a bit longer for the possibility to exist for one to serve Me at home, so that makes the scale variable. How often do I 'need' the kink release? It's hard for Me to put a timetable on that. I can tell you that I can tell the difference in My temperment after a certain period of time. Just the same as some have a bit of a mood change after not indulging in other pleasures after a while. I definitely need the kink release, and start craving it, faster that I do the service oriented aspects. Put Me in the catagory of I'd rather be flogging than having the dishes done. Could I still enjoy it? Sure, but I think I would definitely notice it missing. Probably the reason I have never persued a strictly service submissive. All of the partners to date have had a lower need for the kinkier aspects. I've never taken part in one of those discussions that starts out..... Gee, you're really just not beating me enough.

MHOO314 -> RE: How kinky is your dominance? Are you a "doer" or like to be done? (8/19/2007 4:35:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Privatedetector quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 *I am a doer--that is how I came to realize I was what I was, I didn't like waiting and what I got was always disappointing, along with the fact that I simply lead and control life better----* *so I do, I initiate, and I direct--when a boy delivers that--he gets the best as well.* Hell dont all mistresses like to be the doer. Tell her subby to clean her house, tell him to kiss her ass out, tell him to draw her bath, tell him to rub her feet, tell him to run her errants, tell him to pleasure her orally, tell him to pay the bill, tell him to clean her delicate sutff in the gentle wash. That's a doer alright. Uhm no, I have a maid that comes to clean, hell yeah draw My bath and rub My feet---I pay the bills becauses I have a salary bigger than most men, wash hellyeah---oh and btw if he can keep up with My schedule---: *Home school a Senior* *5 times a week: work and train horses* *Garden--for food* *Can and freeze* *Mow the yard and weed* *and works side by side as we donate time at the soup kitchen* *Yeah baby---I am a gawd damn doer--* *and he runs errands NOT errants--there is a difference--so hell yeah Im a doer--and it takes a damn good man to keep up with that* *So yeah its on My terms.*

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