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is it more than just ownership? - 8/17/2007 11:57:31 AM

girlygurl

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my Sir and i have been together for 8 months. He is not monogamous and i have agreed to this from the beginning. i’ve fallen in love with Him and share my feelings on a regular basis, so there’s no secret about how i feel. He on the other hand has some personal issues with “love” therefore guards Himself from such emotion and/or expressing it (although, He has expressed that He cares for me deeply).
He invited me to go on a short vacation *big smile* i’m so very excited to spend several days with Him i can hardly contain myself!

my question is: as a Dom/Domme if You asked Your submissive to go on vacation with You, does that mean You have more than “just” an ownership affinity for them? i realize everyone is different as is each relationship, and i don’t expect You to answer for Him. i’m just a curious girl wanting some thoughts from You.

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RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/17/2007 12:00:17 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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No.

If you're going to keep second guessing and hoping everything he does is some glimmer of "romantic love" then you're going to tire both of you out very quickly.

He's got issues with intimacy (so do a lot of doms) he's at least open about it and you said you've accepted it. Now follow that up with your actions and keep yourself reined in.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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Post #: 2

RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/17/2007 12:03:49 PM

ownedgirlie

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I am my owner's slave and property. He loves me but it is not a romantic love, it is as one may love a pet. I, on the other hand, am totally in love with him and adore him like no other. I have traveled with him, but always as his slave to serve him as he wishes to be served. On such trips, I serve in various capacities, depending on his desire. I am food servant, maid, companion, sex toy, pillow, foot rest, massage therapist, comedian...and the list goes on. But it is always a Master and slave dynamic...always owner and property. He might enjoy me fully, laughing and conversing with me, or he may practically ignore me, turning my way only when he wants something from me. It's up to him. To wish for anything more would be to wish to be other than his slave, so it's not relevant to me.

(in reply to girlygurl)

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RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/17/2007 12:05:43 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Well and IMO it's ok to wish for more- to know you really WANT that extra phone call or WANT a hug or something.

But you accept that it is what it is and fulfills you as it is.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/17/2007 12:07:32 PM

ownedgirlie

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I didn't clarify well. I'm always wishing for more attention from him! But to wish for something other than a Master/slave, Owner/property dynamic would not be relevant to me. In other words, I need him to be my Master, not my boyfriend.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 5

RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/17/2007 12:13:34 PM

Estring

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I would never own a slave I didn't love. It wouldn't be worth my time. But of course others as your Sir feel differently.
I sense trouble brewing because of your expectations. Being taken with him on vacation doesn't mean anything more than that. If you are expecting or hoping it does, you will be disappointed.

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Boycott Whales!

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RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/17/2007 12:19:16 PM

breatheasone

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I also feel it would be a mistake to read any more into your doms invite than what he has said. In my own relationship with my Master, it is a romantic "in love" relationship. It is also a Master/slave relationship, and thats how we both want it. I hope you have a great time on your vaction with your dom....

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RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/17/2007 12:36:50 PM

PAcpllooking

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To me there is not a more romantic realtionship then M/s or D/s.
Whats more romantic then to give everything for another person? I cant think of anything else.
Now sure it may not be romantic as in the " heres a dozen roses" sense of the word but romantic it is, I feel.
The same applies for love.
I often feel that people try to mix vanilla thinking and actions with the lifestyle. It doesnt work and here is where I feel a lot of people get confused. Just because we dont act like the vanilla people act when showing affection or in a realtionship doesnt mean that the same feelings arent there. We just express them differantly

William

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 8

RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/17/2007 12:48:55 PM

Estring

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PAcpllooking

To me there is not a more romantic realtionship then M/s or D/s.
Whats more romantic then to give everything for another person? I cant think of anything else.
Now sure it may not be romantic as in the " heres a dozen roses" sense of the word but romantic it is, I feel.
The same applies for love.
I often feel that people try to mix vanilla thinking and actions with the lifestyle. It doesnt work and here is where I feel a lot of people get confused. Just because we dont act like the vanilla people act when showing affection or in a realtionship doesnt mean that the same feelings arent there. We just express them differantly

William

I have given my slave a dozen roses many times. And she loves it when I do. We bdsm'ers are not different than vanilla people. When you think that way, you get into trouble.

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Boycott Whales!

(in reply to PAcpllooking)

Post #: 9

RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/17/2007 12:59:29 PM

girlygurl

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From: in the palms of His hands
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LuckyAlbatross, funny You mention the “romantic love” He’s mentioned it a few times, and i realize it’s not applicable in this relationship nor is it something He wants. to be honest, “romantic love” in my definition isn’t what i want either. He’s told me He does not consider me as just an object for His pleasure. He wants my friendship, service, submission, and intimacy; those were His words. i’ve read many of Your postings, and You seem to cut to the chase… no bs with You! *smiles* thanks again! oh, and btw… He does make the extra phone call, gives a great hug and the like. thank You for Your input.

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Post #: 10

RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/17/2007 1:00:45 PM

girlygurl

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.ownedgirlie, i am His and will be His submissive in everyway He desires on the trip. anytime i am with Him i serve as such. and the proverbial “wish” oh yes, we do have to be careful for what we wish for… and on occasion i’ve found myself placing expectations where i shouldn’t. i suppose (for me anyway) it’s a human trait, expecting i mean. i remind myself daily that placing expectations on anyone leads only to disappointment. thank you for your input.

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Post #: 11

RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/17/2007 1:02:34 PM

girlygurl

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From: in the palms of His hands
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Estring, thank You for acknowledging the expectation i don’t expect Him to tell me He’s in love with me, or any romantic mushy stuff like that. i simply like the notion that He enjoys me for more than an object. thank You for Your thoughts.

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i see You

happily forever one

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Post #: 12

RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/17/2007 1:03:35 PM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
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breatheasone, thanks for the well wishes. i’m sure the trip will be filled with adventure and lots and lots of nasty fun!

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i see You

happily forever one

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Post #: 13

RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/17/2007 1:06:54 PM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
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From: in the palms of His hands
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a side note: i love serving Him and being anything He wants me to be! i find an enormous amount of joy pleasing Him with my mind, body, and soul.
btw... i don't want to bore everyone hee hee...so i won't respond to each comment. ha! i do have my chores to do. *rolls eyes* but thanks for all the comments and i'll be sure to check back and read with much thought and appreciation.

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i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 14

RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/17/2007 1:11:12 PM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
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bravo William! You took the words right out of my mouth. the D/s relationship He and i have shouldn’t be confused with a vanilla relationship, that being said, i’m going to forward Your comment to Him, i really like it! thank You!!!!

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to PAcpllooking)

Post #: 15

RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/17/2007 2:16:12 PM

breatheasone

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Joined: 7/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl

breatheasone, thanks for the well wishes. i’m sure the trip will be filled with adventure and lots and lots of nasty fun!

WOO HOO!!!! gotta LOVE the nasty fun....*winks* i wish you both MUCH of it...

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 16

RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/18/2007 7:11:04 AM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
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Taking someone on vacation with me means I like having them around. I've had others read more into it, and that is a serious drag. The first time I went with Daddy on vacation we had been seeing each other a few months. I served a purpose. We had fun. Hell, let's be honest, eh served a purpose too. Now we are 3 years into our relationship and just came back from a 3 day vacation. We mean different things to each other now. The fact that we vacationed together is the constant. Who we are to each other has changed.

All that to say that I would not read anything into this time other than that he enjoys you. In part because I'd be seriously managing my desires and expectations if I were in your position. Hell I was managing them closely by that first vacation.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 17

RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/18/2007 8:17:23 AM

RavenMuse

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Joined: 1/23/2006
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Wrong question.... at least to ask ME. As 'just' Ownership? To Me Ownership is the deepest of all forms of relationship. she is Mine totaly, utterly, compleatly. her very life is cradled in My hand in absolute trust of My duty of care.

she is part of My life. the last time I Owned a girl and we managed to build something lasting from it We where together close to a decade and I married her half way through that journey. Something I would NEVER do with someone anything less that fully Mine.

Take her on vacation? I take friends on vacation, that no big deal! Her being Owned by Me THAT is a big deal!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 18

RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/18/2007 8:30:08 AM

KittyKat89

Posts: 10
Joined: 4/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

I would never own a slave I didn't love. It wouldn't be worth my time. But of course others as your Sir feel differently.
I sense trouble brewing because of your expectations. Being taken with him on vacation doesn't mean anything more than that. If you are expecting or hoping it does, you will be disappointed.

I totally agree with you, Estring. I enjoy sexual encounters much, much less if I know that myself and the other partner are not in love with eachother.

As for the vacation... nothing makes a vacation better than lots of kinky sex and servitude. That's prolly all he wants you for, sweetheart, but if you weren't special to him in some way he would have selected a different little submissive to take with him. Just don't be "obsessive" (I guess its the word I'm looking for) if you want your relationship to go anywhere. He's obviously reluctant to admit to love, and clingy obsessiveness would be yet another barrier.

If the sex starts to bother you though, I really suggest saying something to him. Impersonal sex is the worst, and sometimes you leave feeling used. You should look out to see if he does the things you are into, or if he just fufills his desires. I suppose it depends on the type of dom, but I have found in the past that a dom who really cares for his sub will do many of the things she enjoys, not just the ones that get him off.

Best of wishes

-- Kitty

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 19

RE: is it more than just ownership? - 8/18/2007 8:30:18 AM

SlaveSubtoserve

Posts: 282
Joined: 6/21/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PAcpllooking

To me there is not a more romantic realtionship then M/s or D/s.
Whats more romantic then to give everything for another person? I cant think of anything else.
Now sure it may not be romantic as in the " heres a dozen roses" sense of the word but romantic it is, I feel.
The same applies for love.
I often feel that people try to mix vanilla thinking and actions with the lifestyle. It doesnt work and here is where I feel a lot of people get confused. Just because we dont act like the vanilla people act when showing affection or in a realtionship doesnt mean that the same feelings arent there. We just express them differantly

William

......such an excellent insight on the similarity of feelings but just a different way of expressing them!

(in reply to PAcpllooking)

Post #: 20

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