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 I believe it's more or less a post of "How come I always get to be the person who's unhappy? When is it ever YOUR turn (said to the dominant). 

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ORIGINAL: BDsbabygirl

Generally speaking, do you Doms ever become unhappy over a decision you made? It seems to me that as the one that gets to be in charge and make all the decisions - whether your sub likes it or not - you wouldn't be unhappy because you could simply choose to only make decisions that give you pleasure and the relationship is all about your pleasure, right?
 
I'm just curious; as a sub-for-life, I don't know what that's like. Even as a mother - unless it's over something lifethreatening - I always consider my children's feelings before making a decision.
 
Or do I have it all wrong?

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ORIGINAL: julietsierra

. And I ask, yet again, to PLEASE be able to JUST THIS ONCE...be allowed to masturbate (read that sentence with a whiney voice...it's more appropriate)...

And he laughs and laughs and laughs...
and then stops laughing
and says no.

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ORIGINAL: becca333

Is it scary to be a Dom in charge of other people's lives, and have sole responsibility for the welfare of all?  It must be hard to make a decision and then see it go wrong, and know you made the error.

I'm probably not expressing this as well as I'd like.  I just feel, well, almost sorry for Dom/mes sometimes - they have to make all the big decisions, all the choices, and then during play the sub can relax and let go and have total fun, while the Dom is working and watching and monitoring her condition and still responsible the whole time.

Boy do subs get the best of the deal.

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...sometimes, happiness is deferred in relation to the larger lesson learned...

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ORIGINAL: BDsbabygirl

On another subject, why DO Doms disallow masturbating and/or coming? And for sooo long; is there an actual reason having to do with the betterment of the sub or the relationship? *is glad made "orgasm denial" a ROCK HARD Limit*

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ORIGINAL: julietsierra

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ORIGINAL: BDsbabygirl

On another subject, why DO Doms disallow masturbating and/or coming? And for sooo long; is there an actual reason having to do with the betterment of the sub or the relationship? *is glad made "orgasm denial" a ROCK HARD Limit*

I laughed so hard when I read this...and am laughing even now as I type this response.

Here's the thing. Do you honestly believe it's been five years since I've reached orgasm? If that was the case he'd be a dead Dominant or I'd be insane. More than likely though, we wouldn't be together, cause I DO love that part of our relationship.

I'll give you an analogy to help explain what he does and what it does for me. Yes, he prohibits masturbation. Yes, he's prohibited it from nearly the moment we met. And yes, I've accepted this rule and alternately rued it's existence or embraced it wholeheartedly - depending on my mood, and my overall need for sex. (I did say SEX didn't I?)

Ok...You know those really really hot days of summer? The ones where either you stay in front of a fan or you plan to be on or near water or in a mall or SOMETHING - just to get out of the heat? And you know how thirsty you get on those kinds of days? Well, sometimes when days like that happen, you'd almost sell your soul for a bottle or glass of crisp clear, cold water - the more ice the better - yes? And that first sip - you can feel it as the water slides down your throat to your stomach. Your entire body kind of relaxes into that first sip of water. The water after that first sip is also wonderful, but there's something about that first sip that's pretty darn close to ecstacy.

That's how it is when he withholds masturbation. He merely touches me and I'm off and running. There are times I'm practically in tears from the pleasure - and that's BEFORE I reach orgasm. The orgasms themselves are beyond anything I've ever felt before. We don't live together and this process makes me hungry to the point of starving for him every single moment of every single day and there is no respite except when I see him. But when I do see him, the unmitigated joy that I feel in just being next to him - even if he hasn't touched me, leaves me trembling and fidgety and .... wet. I have this taste in my mouth not unlike what you may experience before your favorite meal that you haven't had in months. It is all-encompassing and involves my mind, every nerve ending in my body and all of my five senses. He absolutely fills me with himself long before he even has me undress - and the feeling lasts and lasts and lasts.

When I'm starving and I don't see him, my begging and pleading, even when I know what his answer will be, is me trying any way I can to have some semblence of that feeling even though he's not around. But he knows that that's not possible. And I know that that's not possible. I just keep on trying though. He knows that it's as much about me being with him as it is me simply reaching orgasm. In fact, if I do reach orgasm and it's not with him, the entire feeling is much less intense. I crave intensity. He loves the effect of that intensity, both on me and on him. So, he leads me, pushes me, pulls me, entices me, and withholds from me in order that I may reach that point.

So, while I crave the orgasm, while I beg and plead for the orgasm, while I try my best to convince him to allow it... he knows the better route and makes sure I stay on the right road. And I love him all the more for it. I am pleased every single time I don't get what I want, and I'm grateful he didn't cave to my manipulation.

On his part, he absolutely loves the desperate sound of my voice when I ask him. He loves the knowledge that with one word (No), he can make my life a living hell for a bit, and with one touch, he can send me to heaven. Why in the world wouldn't he like this?

juliet

coff..sigh....uhm....yess!  well said ...and great explanation....and uhmm......having read that about 5 times.....now Im going to go have a cigarette ( and I dont even smoke ! ) and go make a phone call  weg 

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ORIGINAL: BDsbabygirl

...my body is such that it just doesn't sustain desire long, even going frigid if it's been too long. He had me drinking 12 cups of h20/day so I's pee a lot 'n when I peed, I was to masturbate just short of orgasm, the point being that by the end of the day, I'd be climbing the walls with desire. Never happened that way; 30 minutes later, I'd be back to where I'd started at the beginning. And once we didn't have sex or play for two weeks. Result? 'Twas incredibly hard to get back in the mood.

Why does it work out that way for me, do you think? Could it be that the responsibilities of life don't allow for constant heat? Or has my body just learned to say "Forget that! If there's to be no fulfillment, why be tortured with desire?!" (guess it's not much of a masochist).

As for YOUR post, I'd figured you'd orgasmed in 5 years, you just weren't allowed to via masturbation...

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ORIGINAL: BDsbabygirl

WOW! Before my Dom and I got together, he told me about 'orgasm delayment' and he did try it but it never had that result...my body is such that it just doesn't sustain desire long, even going frigid if it's been too long. He had me drinking 12 cups of h20/day so I's pee a lot 'n when I peed, I was to masturbate just short of orgasm, the point being that by the end of the day, I'd be climbing the walls with desire. Never happened that way; 30 minutes later, I'd be back to where I'd started at the beginning. And once we didn't have sex or play for two weeks. Result? 'Twas incredibly hard to get back in the mood.

Why does it work out that way for me, do you think? Could it be that the responsibilities of life don't allow for constant heat? Or has my body just learned to say "Forget that! If there's to be no fulfillment, why be tortured with desire?!" (guess it's not much of a masochist).

As for YOUR post, I'd figured you'd orgasmed in 5 years, you just weren't allowed to via masturbation...

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ORIGINAL: BDsbabygirl

On another subject, why DO Doms disallow masturbating and/or coming? And for sooo long; is there an actual reason having to do with the betterment of the sub or the relationship? *is glad made "orgasm denial" a ROCK HARD Limit*