Help im Desperate (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message

severin37 -> Help im Desperate (8/17/2007 9:41:51 PM)

    im a novice that really has no realtime experience.  i have been trying on this site but it seems like it wont work unless i go to a financial domme which i will not do because i think they are stupid little girls.  so i am left with the option of visiting a prodomme and actually getting a realtime domination session.  it might be desperation but i feel like that is the only way right now to get some realtime.

so my question is has anyone here ever gone to a pro domme for their first experience and how was it like?  also if you have gone to a pro domme anyways, what was it like?



shyinini -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/17/2007 10:04:58 PM)

Desperate.
If the dommes you write know that you are desperate...then it might turn them off.
I havent looked at your profile....but I am goiung to suggest if you rewrite it so taht you are not looking desperate, but truly into serving another for their pleasure and not yours, you might have some success.
 
Good luck
 
Sir's girl



severin37 -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/17/2007 10:11:52 PM)

no its not that

the first time i wrote im desperate was this thread

i just want realtime and the only people that are real on this site are the pro dommes because that is their business.  everyone else is either online, financial, lesbian, or much older than me.








realtuffdom -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/17/2007 10:12:18 PM)

There's nothing wrong with going to a professional dominant for your first sessions. Remember, in the very beginning, you're probably exploring and not sure what it is you're seeking. When you get involved in a relationship with a non-professional, you may have a difficult time finding one that is going to address your particular fantasies, because they don't always have an incentive or desire to do so. With a professional, you can explore pretty much whatever is interesting you in your growth as a submissive, bottom or whatever. Keep in mind that some professionals are pretty strict in what they will and will not do as well, so be sure you're connecting with the right professional dominant that matches what you're seeking at this particular time.



becca333 -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/17/2007 10:14:04 PM)

Have you searched in real, or only in cyber?

Find out about the local scene, go to some munches, get to know people.  Go to play parties and watch, learn, get some experience, let people get to know you.

It takes time, and actual effort.

Don't go to a pro while you're wildly desperate, you'll make some very bad choices, get hurt, decide you hate the whole thing, make more bad choices, and ages later you'll be back where you started.



shyinini -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/17/2007 10:25:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: severin37

no its not that

the first time i wrote im desperate was this thread

i just want realtime and the only people that are real on this site are the pro dommes because that is their business.  everyone else is either online, financial, lesbian, or much older than me.


Well what you just said????
Pretty much makes EVERYONE esle wankers and you and the prodommes the only non wankers.
 
You will get no where with that attitude.  And I guess no where is where you are.
 
goodluck  [8|]
 
Sir's girl



vagabondduo -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/17/2007 10:29:48 PM)

Go to www.drkdesyre.com/
 
Click on "HERE"
Click on "Meet People"
Click on "Organizations and Contacts"
Then Click on SC....for South Carolina
 
You will see 2 BDSM organizations in your town.  I suggest you find the time to become involved with these groups.  If you don't, then perhaps you aren't so very desperate afterall. 



Cyntilating -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/18/2007 4:16:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: severin37

   im a novice that really has no realtime experience.  i have been trying on this site but it seems like it wont work unless i go to a financial domme which i will not do because i think they are stupid little girls.  so i am left with the option of visiting a prodomme and actually getting a realtime domination session.  it might be desperation but i feel like that is the only way right now to get some realtime.

so my question is has anyone here ever gone to a pro domme for their first experience and how was it like?  also if you have gone to a pro domme anyways, what was it like?



why do you use the term "desperate" ??  ( its a rhetorical question for you to ask yourself, not necessarily answer here )
....  making any decisions or choices in our lives when we are in a place of desperation > is rarely a good time and always dangerous. 
imo
If you are truly feeling desperate ( and not adding that word for melodrama ) then take a step back and away from your exploration and deal with the "whys" of your emotions and feelings first. 
Heck > I don't even make a shopping trip when I'm innna "desperate mood" for a cookie, anymore...just NOT a good idea. 
 
The first thing a pro-domme is gonna ask you is > "what do you want?"  ( well Im pretty sure thats the first thing ..ok Im guessing ..but it would seem a logical question )
....do you know??
how will you answer ??
do you know what you are asking for?   you know there is that adage >> "becareful what you ask for, you might just get it" ...
we're talking a BIG difference than just choosing the wrong cookie choice here ...
 
 
 



MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/18/2007 5:28:23 AM)

I actually think that going to a prodomme is not a particularly bad way to start experiencing some of the things that are components of kink.   As pointed out, it gives you the opportunity to explore things that YOU are interested in, which is a good thing at this point.  Shop around for a good local pro (www.maxfisch.com is where to look, not here).  Just remember that professional relationships ARE different from lifestyle ones.

While it's intimidating to start out attending munches and such, I'm sure you're a friendly person.   Go to a couple munches, be friendly with everyone, go to a couple play parties.  You might not meet "the one" there, but kinky people are notorious matchmakers.

As a lifestyle Domme, I stay away from novices who haven't gone out to munches and such.   There are soooo many novices online who are looking - and so few who will follow that through to any kind of meaningful relationship.  Most are dreamers and wankers;  few will find it in themselves to take that step to turn off the computer and progress past that.   Someone who has gotten out there has shown me that he's willing to do what it takes to MAKE this happen, instead of just wishing it were so.   The other side is that someone who is new just doesn't know what they want in a long term relationship, and that's as it should be - they need to experiment and figure out where they fit in all of this.    But the unsurity of if they can hack r/t and the unsurity of what they want in a relationship doesn't mesh well with me.



MamaDomme -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/18/2007 5:53:19 AM)

Well, Bless your little heart.  Poor desparate baby. 

So, I suppose, even tho you don't know me or anything about me, you have already come to the conclusion that when I was ProDomming, I was a "stupid little girl".

Generalizations like that will get you nothing but trouble and heartache here, and in life period.

You also mention that the only "real" Dommes here are either online, financial or much older than you.............  Do you honestly think that you are going to find a lifetime Domme within your age group?  At 21  they don't actually have much of a past filled with lifetime experiences at being a Domme.

Just an FYI here-- I am NOT, nor have ever been, an online Domme, nor a financial Domme.......... and yes, I am much older than you---- and have quite a few years of past lifetime experiences.  And yes, I would ProDomme you but not sure you would enjoy it nearly as much as your fantasy.

A ProDomme merely fulfills a physical need in a submissive......... not the emotional and mental needs.  When I was Pro, my clients had very specific needs and expressed them.  I provided the service they needed, at a cost.  I never cared about their emotional needs... just what they came to me for.

Good luck with your search.



severin37 -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/18/2007 6:22:46 AM)

the "stupid little girls" is a reference to all the financial dommes out there that want doormats to pay for everything

and i have searched the munches online and i dont want to be around middle aged people who have done all sorts of stuff

i would be out of place and really uncomfortable

i think the best answer is visiting a young experienced professional who knows what she is doing.

plus no one has answered my orginal question which was are there any subs who have been to a pro and what was it like on your first session with her?



MamaDomme -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/18/2007 6:40:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: severin37

and i have searched the munches online and i dont want to be around middle aged people who have done all sorts of stuff

i would be out of place and really uncomfortable




have you searched for any TNG groups?  Maybe a yahoo group near you?  TNG members are more your age group.



earthycouple -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/18/2007 7:25:53 AM)

it isn't the site that doesn't work.  It is user error.  You OP, are the error.  Hope that profile you are editing works this time.



severin37 -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/18/2007 8:49:17 AM)

you cant tell me im the error cause you dont know my experience

all the women around my area are too old, financiall, or lesbian

the only women that i have connected with are online and i want some realtime which leads to me finding a pro



Babybass -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/18/2007 8:54:40 AM)

To the OP - you seem to have made up your mind. Sometimes on these forums, the question you ask isn't the question you get answered - but you usually end up hearing some good advice that you really need. 
These people have great experience and are willing to share it - you should be grateful rather than pick holes in every piece of advice that is not what you want to hear!



earthycouple -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/18/2007 8:59:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: severin37

you cant tell me im the error cause you dont know my experience

all the women around my area are too old, financiall, or lesbian

the only women that i have connected with are online and i want some realtime which leads to me finding a pro



thanks for proving my point, OP



michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/18/2007 9:10:15 AM)

I've only had online experience also, but I've given up "begging" for offline. I've decided, if things are gonna happen, they will soon enough. afterall, I'm in dire need of a spanking, but nobody to give it to me (whine)

(please not that I have bowed to the majority of people and am trying to capitalized "I" from now on)



AAkasha -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/18/2007 9:13:48 AM)

quote:



There were no failures; only triumphs in this love


The best index to a person's character is (a) how he treats people who can't do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can't fight back. ~Abigail Van Buren~


(in reply to severin37)
Profile Report | Post #: 16
Page: [1]
[Reply to Message] All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive/Slave >> Help im Desperate Page: [1]

Fast Reply
quote:

ORIGINAL: severin37

you cant tell me im the error cause you dont know my experience

all the women around my area are too old, financiall, or lesbian

the only women that i have connected with are online and i want some realtime which leads to me finding a pro



Unfortunately you are going to get kicked to the curb for suggesting that there's anything wrong with the "more experienced, older people" at the munches.  I felt the same way as a femdom in my 20s when I went to a few bdsm get togethers and while I thought meeting people was interseting, I felt turned off by the come-ons from men I considered "old."  I got flack for that even as a femdom, so I imagine as a male sub you'd get a lot of crap.

My suggestion is that you look into the alternative dance club scene.  The young goths and industrial music freaks often run in the same circles as kinky people.  If you are young and look good in black and like to dance, take a look at it.  I used to often find unsuspecting young "prey" at clubs that way.

In the meantime, work on your dating, flirting skills as a young person and know that the good news is you're only getting older.  More doors will open for you.

Akasha



peppermint -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/18/2007 9:16:23 AM)

quote:

have searched the munches online and i dont want to be around middle aged people who have done all sorts of stuff


Did you bother to check out the link vagabondduo sent you?   It would have led you to a group at the university.  Aren't university students about 21 years old these days?



UR2Badored -> RE: Help im Desperate (8/18/2007 9:23:11 AM)

I agree with Akasha.

OP,

Nothing says come and get me like insulting someone with terms like "stupid little girls, too old, and desperate"

You are young and I applaud you for knowing what you want and going for it.  In my early twenties, I hadnt a clue to even articulate in my own brain what I needed..... If I just may add: be a little more conscious about how you come across to people who might appeal to you as oppose to stating things negatively about the ones you do not have time for.

Good luck to the OP
May you find what you seek



Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875