RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid



Message

Bobkgin -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 7:16:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UR2Badored

Bob,
I am curious to why you started this thread.  You have laid out a very articulate understanding of human nature in this previous thread you started.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1184197/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm



Thank you for the compliment. You might consider this a case in point illustrating the material I presented there.

However, I do not think we give much thought to the idea that the bdsm spectrum attracts its fair share of maladjusted individuals.

Quite simply, the consequences of getting hooked up with someone like that is a pretty scary thought, and it is understandable that we tend to avoid thinking such things.

We hope for the best, naturally. We treat those who are maladjusted as nuisances, and move on.

We hear a lot about wannabe 'doms', and that is good.

We do not give as much thought to those sub/slaves whose maladjustment can create problems easily as dangerous to a dom/master.

In our society, given the stereotype vanilla view of male dom/female sub relationships (namely, that the male is abusing the female's low self-esteem) it seems to me worrisome that someone would display such vengeful and vindictive behaviour towards a relative stranger who refused to play the part assigned him. Were this the end of a lengthy relationship I'd feel sorry for the man involved.

Just some more random thoughts on the subject.



sophia37 -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 7:19:21 AM)

Im thinking this sentance says a lot about you Bob. "..what lurks behind the thin veneer of the public persona." Thin veneer? Now I could find this amusing and give you an answer based on, " It is remarkable how sweetness and light can so easily and completely turn into vengeance and vindictiveness." and lay into you with vengeance and vindictiveness.

But I wont. I'll just tell you how I see the world. Maybe that will help this topic. I dont see people as having thin veneers. I truly believe all people run deep. Even if they come off as shallow. Shallowness is how people keep others at arms length is all.

Sooo, perhaps if you looked at people with the understanding that they say things for reasons that may not be obvious, you'll have a kinder approach to the world. You talk like a man with no patience. Which is fine if you're not looking for anything. But if you're on a mission to see the world, your attitude will not bring forth the best in people.

Maybe its not even what you say. Maybe its more HOW you say it. I know you dont bring out the warm fuzzies in me. Sorry. Theres some sort of wall you stand behind when you speak. Just my two cents. xo Soph



UR2Badored -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 7:22:36 AM)

I dont assume that everyone out there is either wonderful or maladjusted individuals.  I assume we are all human beings with flaws. 
However, you felt the need to give an explanation prior to blocking her. Why not just block if explanations are not important to you?   Just playing devil's advocate here.

If you felt there was need for explanation prior to blocking, I suspect she did as well.



Bobkgin -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 7:36:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sophia37

Im thinking this sentance says a lot about you Bob. "..what lurks behind the thin veneer of the public persona." Thin veneer? Now I could find this amusing and give you an answer based on, " It is remarkable how sweetness and light can so easily and completely turn into vengeance and vindictiveness." and lay into you with vengeance and vindictiveness.

But I wont. I'll just tell you how I see the world. Maybe that will help this topic. I dont see people as having thin veneers. I truly believe all people run deep. Even if they come off as shallow. Shallowness is how people keep others at arms length is all.



I think it safe to say most people put on their best face for the public. Very few are who they appear to be (a problem I'm faced with constantly). Just consider the hordes of wannabe 'doms' who think they can get sex at the drop of a hat by answering an ad here. There's an example of that "thin veneer" I spoke of, as beneath the surface, they are nothing like they present themselves to be.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sophia37

Sooo, perhaps if you looked at people with the understanding that they say things for reasons that may not be obvious, you'll have a kinder approach to the world. You talk like a man with no patience. Which is fine if you're not looking for anything. But if you're on a mission to see the world, your attitude will not bring forth the best in people.

Maybe its not even what you say. Maybe its more HOW you say it. I know you dont bring out the warm fuzzies in me. Sorry. Theres some sort of wall you stand behind when you speak. Just my two cents. xo Soph



Perhaps if you did not try to extrapolate my opinion of humanity from this one situation, you'd find you were the one bricking up the wall, not I.

Just a thought.



Bobkgin -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 7:47:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UR2Badored

I dont assume that everyone out there is either wonderful or maladjusted individuals.  I assume we are all human being with flaws. 
However, you felt the need to give an explanation prior to blocking her. Why not just block if explanations are not important to you?   Just playing devil's advocate here.

If you felt there was need for explanation prior to blocking, I suspect she did as well.


The situation was discussed, my actions explained, and the journal entry remained (it is still there, as of yesterday). She had embedded insults in the discussion, and I let them pass. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I wasn't going to pursue it.

Why say anything? I prefer closure to letting things just endlessly drift.

Obviously she felt the need to say more, she ignored a block, got someone else's account, and sent me insults.

Would you argue that the collarme should take away the block feature? or that people should ignore it whenever they wish?

Or is it only there for some to use, but not others? Big, brawny, domly men should always be willing to accept abuse from whomever?

I see it as a way of saying "I'm done, go away" for those who won't take "no" for an answer.

But some people thrive on having the last word, and this is how Fatal Attraction type events evolve.

I realize you are playing devil's advocate, and I hope you do not take offense from the response.



Aileen68 -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 7:55:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

But some people thrive on having the last word, and this is how Fatal Attraction type events evolve.


I just love irony on a Sunday morning.



Bobkgin -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 8:09:54 AM)

I'd like to thank collarchat for providing a block feature in the discussion groups, and thank those of you who encouraged me and who also pointed this feature out to me.

You were right: it -does- improve the quality of a discussion.



kyraofMists -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 8:13:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

I just love irony on a Sunday morning.


LOL

pssstt... Aileen, don't look now, but I think you have been blocked  *eg*

Knight's Kyra



windchymes -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 8:14:35 AM)

Just a side note, you don't have to access a friend's account to contact someone who's blocked you.  You can make as many new profiles of your own as you want and email from them. [:)]



Aileen68 -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 8:15:19 AM)

Yay! (o.O)



Bobkgin -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 8:18:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Just a side note, you don't have to access a friend's account to contact someone who's blocked you.  You can make as many new profiles of your own as you want and email from them. [:)]


True.

But I find it informative that there are those here who will lend out their account for such a purpose as vengeance and vindictiveness.

Apparently there are some here (and a so-called "female slave" amongst them) who believe non-consensual abuse is cool. (o.O)



bandit25 -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 8:19:06 AM)

I think Ron asked it but I didn't see the answer...what is (o.O)?



KatyLied -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 8:20:45 AM)

It doesn't get any better on a rainy, Sunday morning than to read a public anouncement of a blocking.  Everyone with any sense knows that Aileen is a pure betch!    [;)]



UR2Badored -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 8:21:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: UR2Badored

If you felt there was need for explanation prior to blocking, I suspect she did as well.


The situation was discussed, my actions explained, and the journal entry remained (it is still there, as of yesterday). She had embedded insults in the discussion, and I let them pass. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I wasn't going to pursue it.



Again , You know the entire situation and what was best for you.  But, the journal entry itself is a sign, at least to me, that there was poor communication between the two of you.

Sometimes people put up walls to push people out, others because they want to see how hard someone will push to be with them.

We all have our crap.  Compatability often is just finding the people who we find compatible crap with.  Her crap was not your cup of tea.....okay I get it.

Again, best of luck to you.


side note <-- (borrowed from WindChymes)  to Katy above.........Even those of us who have no sense whatsoever can appreciate a  good Betch............You betcha! [;)]



Aileen68 -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 8:22:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

I think Ron asked it but I didn't see the answer...what is (o.O)?


It's betchy beady eyeballs looking at you...non-judgementally, of course.



bandit25 -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 8:23:28 AM)

ok..Aileen is a betch (o.O)  Now what does that mean?



Bobkgin -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 8:23:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

I think Ron asked it but I didn't see the answer...what is (o.O)?


It is a quizzical look, another way of saying "think about it" or "things that make you go 'hmm'" or "what the ...?"

If you've ever seen someone looking at something with one eye wide open and the other more squinted, you have the visual.



bandit25 -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 8:25:08 AM)

Are you kidding me?  Why are they different sized?  Kinda creepy.

How's the back?



Aileen68 -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 8:25:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

It doesn't get any better on a rainy, Sunday morning than to read a public anouncement of a blocking.  Everyone with any sense knows that Aileen is a pure betch!    [;)]


My day is complete.  I think all of my posts here should be quoted so that bobkin can see them that way...kinda like bypassing a block.



bandit25 -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 8:28:06 AM)

I can do the one eyebrow thing...like Mr. Spock...does that count?



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125