The Hard Way

The Hard Way (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity

Message

LDRandAstarte -> The Hard Way (8/20/2007 1:48:28 PM)
What are some of the things you have learned "The hard way" in your life.... For instance I have learned; 1. Don't pee on the spark plug of a running lawnmower! This was the only time I have ever "heard" my eyelids slamming shut! 2. Masturbating with BenGay is only for the stoutest of men!

sappatoti -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 1:50:21 PM)
Touching the high voltage section of a CRT-based television that hasn't been sufficiently drained will send a 160 lb man flying backwards for a distance of about 10 feet.

cuffnspankme -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 1:58:25 PM)
Never ask Is that all you have or anything along those lines if you are receiving a beating, it leads to some very unwanted results...

FullCircle -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 2:00:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LDRandAstarte 1. Don't pee on the spark plug of a running lawnmower! This was the only time I have ever "heard" my eyelids slamming shut! Begs the question: why did you pee on your lawnmower? I learnt that baking soda isn’t the same as caster sugar.

darchChylde -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 2:08:12 PM)
never say "i'm bored" to your Dominant and never assume that She forgot anything (goes for vanilla too)

LDRandAstarte -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 2:17:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FullCircle quote: ORIGINAL: LDRandAstarte 1. Don't pee on the spark plug of a running lawnmower! This was the only time I have ever "heard" my eyelids slamming shut! Begs the question: why did you pee on your lawnmower? I learnt that baking soda isn’t the same as caster sugar. I was about 6yo, I really can not remember the thought processes that went into my actions, but the end result was unforgetable.

LaTigresse -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 2:24:37 PM)
I learned that my horse really would follow me in jumping across a ditch he was afraid was going to swallow him alive. I had not counted on him following quite that closely......... After I jumped I turned to see if he was indeed following. I cannot tell you how fast my life flashed before my eyes as I looked up to see him in mid jump, over me, trying to do the horse splits to avoid landing on me, as he looked down between his front legs with a shocked look on his horse face. I got so lucky, only a fractured collar bone and a torn shirt.

e01n -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 2:25:36 PM)
Well, I think it's from the same episode as "Never whistle while your pissing" Hard Lesson #1: Chef is right. Even when you can prove him wrong, Chef is right. Hard Lesson #2: Chef is always Chef, even when wearing a Speedo or other plum smuggler... Hard Lesson #3: Chefs know how to get good range and force when throwing their knives, but not always accuracy. Hard Lesson #4: It's better to be accurate than forceful when throwing a 12" kitchen knife Hard Lesson #5: Restaurant people are some of the kinkiest on the planet and most are kinkier than you can dream of being...

HydroMaster -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 2:27:09 PM)
When checking the electric fences on your uncle's ranch be ABSOLUTELY sure he turned them off.

LaTigresse -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 2:29:10 PM)
Ohhhh, that reminds me. When trying to fix the electric fence quickly, in the rain, it is better to walk the mile down and shut it off, rather than try to rely on wet leather gloves to deaden the zap. When taking the quicker route, stepping through the two strands of electric fence wire, rather than going down and throught the gate. If you should stagger a bit, while barefoot in wet grass, and your bare leg just happens to touch one of the strands, it is NOT a good idea to grab a metal fence post to steady yourself....... barefeet, wet grass, electricity, and metal pole.........bad combo. bad bad baaaaaaaaaaaaad.

philosophy -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 2:31:58 PM)
...in theatre, being good at improvisation is no substitute for learning the bloody lines.........

beargonewild -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 2:39:46 PM)
Never sass back at your mom, even mumbling the sarcasm, their hearing is perfect along with their backhand!

LaTigresse -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 3:41:08 PM)
Which reminds me of one my kids learned. Never assume that because mom is outside and you are inside, she cannot hear you. Then assuming it is safe to swear at one another while arguing over which Saturday morning cartoons to watch. Followed closely by......Do not tell mom "mmmmmmmmm, that soap tastes good!" after getting your mouth soaped for swearing. You will get a second helping.

HydroMaster -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 3:51:54 PM)
Playing hide and go seek at night wearing all black and masks sometimes attracts unwanted police attention

LaTigresse -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 4:07:53 PM)
Laughing, well yeah, I suppose it might!

callistaIn -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 4:12:56 PM)
I learned that the guage on the gas tank is always accurate that when you use scissors to cut a cord; especially when it's plugged in; you can expect to become up close and personal with a wall ( or in my case, a window ) that telling your parents to shut up is not the way to go about gaining permission for something that when Master/Mistress says be quiet; they really mean it. that admitting to a police officer that you spent the afternoon drinking; after he has pulled you over for speeding; is NOT the way to get out of a ticket just to name a few best of wishes callie

cautiousiasub -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 4:29:36 PM)
Speaking of police officers: Asking one if they know what those lights on the top of their car are for will only make them mad and therefore look for a reason to ticket you. Telling them that you thought they followed you to the gas station for donuts will accomplish the same thing.

sublimelysensual -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 5:35:57 PM)
1. No matter how "shock-proof" you are, your children will always have the ability to shock you with things that come out of their mouth... 2. Human beings can fly when running at the correct speed and getting the help of an unseen hole to take off from... 3. Betting against Murphy's Law is about the same as betting against the house in a casino..there's a slight chance you may win, but if you do, it's a fluke, and there will be payback... -a

e01n -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 5:43:26 PM)
A couple of quick cop lessons: --The Jedi Mind Trick does work on them... but only if you're prepared with something to distract them while patting you down before they get to the pocket in which you're holding... --Cops are either Subs who top or Doms who sub, and never switch anything. --Never clean your house while wearing a balaclava over your face "because of allergies" while the blinds are open. --"Libertarian" = "pot head" to most patrol cops. So pamphlets for the LP = drug paraphernalia to them. --Be nice to them. They richly deserve it, given the shit they get handed most of the time.

thornhappy -> RE: The Hard Way (8/20/2007 6:15:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HydroMaster When checking the electric fences on your uncle's ranch be ABSOLUTELY sure he turned them off. Several cousins of mine can state: never pee on the electric fence. Thornhappy's commandments: Touch not the spark plug wire on a running engine. Touch not the screws on that 110VAC plug. (That buzzing sensation...ewwww.) Touch not the 300 VDC power supply on the repeater, with one hand on the rack. (All I could do was squawk for a few minutes after.) thornhappy

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125