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The duality of love, hitting the wall, and one damn incredible song......


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The duality of love, hitting the wall, and one damn inc... - 7/6/2005 9:48:21 PM   
GreyStorm


Posts: 423
Joined: 1/26/2005
From: Cheeseheadland
Status: offline
quote:

wish I had a good girl to miss me
but I wonder if I'll ever change my ways



I woke up this morning on my couch and my first thought was of her. You know the one, the pet that wasn't right for you. It's coming up on the anniversary of our meeting. I can hardly believe I knew her three years. It seems like it's been just a few weeks. Three years of laughter, fun, joy, heartache, arguing, broken promises, and God knows what else. It was love. It was a good love, it was a bad love. The highest of highs, the lowest of lows. We got through the good times and the bad together, just knowing we loved each other was enough.

quote:

Since you've been gone my worlds been dark and gray
You reminded me of brighter days
I hope you'd be coming home to stay


Everything seemed to remind me of you today. No matter where I looked, I saw you. No matter who I talked to, I heard you. I got good news today, a promotion at work. I was very happy. I used to tell you my good news straight away. Now I don't have you to turn to anymore to share my smiles. It was my choice I know. I couldn't deal with who I was becoming, what I was turning into around you. I had to end it. I'm happier now, but I still miss you something fierce. That's why I'm up eighteen hours after getting up off my couch thinking of you writing this stupid post. I want to write it out and get it out of my system. I hit the wall today. Depression overtook me. Six months after I told you I couldn't go on with "us" anymore. I cried today. Between my jobs. I took fifteen minutes for myself and let it out. I had been holding it in too long. It's downhill from here. I knew this day would come to me. The kicker today??? This song. A Kid Rock, Sheryl Crow song of all things. You see, Dave gave me a copy of Kid Rock's third album. I didn't expect it. Track nine. Listen to it. Incredible is all I can say.

quote:

I thought about you for a long time
Can't seem to get you off my mind
I can't stand why we’re living life this way


I have no illusions. I know what is best for me. It isn't you. I know I love you and always will love you. But you and me together, nope. Just so wrong. Who knows when or if I'll find someone else to love, a guy can hope, has to have hope, 'cause without hope.....well what would be the point. But I know I'm better off alone right now. There have been others since we parted ways, small, half hearted attempts at something, but it wasn't the time.

quote:

I put your picture away
sat down and cried today
I cant look at you while I'm lying next to her


_____________________________

Ahhh temptation, I have named thee and thy name is woman.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: The duality of love, hitting the wall, and one damn... - 7/6/2005 11:50:55 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline
*Offers a big, comforting hug because she's nice like that* Songs are tied with memories in my mind. Sometimes, it's so intense that the wrong moment of hearing one will make me curl up and hyperventilate. Old loves never really fade from your mind, do that?

And weird that I stumble onto this. An IM buddy mentioned something that made me think of my ex today and I haven't thought about him in months.

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to GreyStorm)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: The duality of love, hitting the wall, and one damn... - 7/7/2005 12:05:20 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
""CHOICES(by Nikki Giovanni)
if i can't do
what i want to do
then my job is to not
do what i don't want
to do

it's not the same thing
but it's the best i can
do

if i can't have
what i want . . . then
my job is to want
what i've got
and be satisfied
that at least there
is something more to want

since i can't go
where i need
to go . . . then i must . . . go
where the signs point
through always understanding
parallel movement
isn't lateral

when i can't express
what i really feel
i practice feeling
what i can express
and none of it is equal
i know
but that's why mankind
alone among the animals
learns to cry
""

I like this... Hope you do too.
Sending hugs your way.. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to GreyStorm)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: The duality of love, hitting the wall, and one damn... - 7/7/2005 4:04:14 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
Q's sending a few more Hugs to Storm. Music has always been healing for the most part but dam those days it add's salt!




_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: The duality of love, hitting the wall, and one damn... - 7/7/2005 4:43:23 AM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline
She is out there and when the time is right you will find her. Keep your chin up :)

That every long lost dream
Led me to where You are
Others who broke my heart
They were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way
Into Your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to You

(in reply to GreyStorm)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: The duality of love, hitting the wall, and one damn... - 7/7/2005 2:46:40 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline
Dammit, now I have to play Rascal Flatts to get that song out of my head, kisshou.

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to kisshou)
Profile   Post #: 6
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