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does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 10:59:16 AM   
blossomtree


Posts: 4
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		and if he does want to take another sub or play with others, do you allow him to do that?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 11:33:10 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		Well I am not a sub, but this would be my reply were I one:  poly is something that should be throughly discussed before hand, to make sure both of you are on the same page.  Not just whether or not both are interested in poly, but also have similar views of what it consists of, and what would be allowed. Some couples only play with other females.  Masters may only let their subs play with other subs, others with other Doms,do they want a live in? the list could go on and on.   I cannot stress enough the importance of communication between all parties involved, regardless of the dynamic!  And the sooner discussions such as that happen in the relationship, the better.  Now I don't mean necessarily starting a poly relationship right away. Part of discussing this subject is figuring out if your relationship is stable enough to deal with it.  And when you get into the Poly aspect, finding someone who will fit into the dynamic is also hard.  Even if the the 2nd relationship is casual or not sexual or whatever, it can still pose problems to your 1st relationship.   I love the tagline that Lucky Albatross has: Find Stable Partners, not a stable of partners. (I think I got the quote right.)

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to blossomtree)
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RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 11:33:47 AM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blossomtree

and if he does want to take another sub or play with others, do you allow him to do that?


Do I allow my Master to do as he wants, when he wants? Um yep. That is the deal. He gets to meet other people if that is what he wants to do. May not work for everyone but that is the way our relationship is. I would never consider telling him he cannot do what we agreed he could do.

(in reply to blossomtree)
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RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 11:33:53 AM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		This seems like a far more complex question than you've stated it as.  What is your relationship to your dom?  Are you full-time, live-in or something else?  Maybe the question is vaugue because this is just an idea you've started discussing.  Here are some questions to ponder.  Would you be expected to play with the new partner or not?  Would you have some say in this partner or not?  Is he thinking of a full-time sub or just a casual play partner.  Those are vastly different things, but one can develop into the other, so you need to think about how you would feel either way.  How jealous are you?  Are there some things that might be easy to agree to and other which might feel more threatening?  Be prepared for things to evolve.  When I first began to play with my Master, I had to remain somewhat dressed and he was not supposed to touch me in an overtly sexual way.  Now we play naked and I am of limited (oral) sexual use.  My husband and his wife have evolved in their comfort over time.  If you want to message me on the other side, I am happy to talk about multipartner relationships, sisterslaves and some of the issues that might come up.

(in reply to blossomtree)
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RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 11:35:19 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blossomtree
and if he does want to take another sub or play with others, do you allow him to do that?

We are not actively seeking anyone right now, but if someone comes along, we're open to it on any level.

I don't ALLOW or DISALLOW anything.  We agreed on what was expected and live towards that.  I do not have monogamous relationships- mine are always open to new partners on any level.  He has the same freedom, whether he chooses to use it or not.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to blossomtree)
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RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 11:36:31 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLynx
I love the tagline that Lucky Albatross has: Find Stable Partners, not a stable of partners. (I think I got the quote right.)

Woohoo!  You rock!

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LadyLynx)
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RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 11:42:43 AM   
WickedBDSM


Posts: 37
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blossomtree

and if he does want to take another sub or play with others, do you allow him to do that?


excuse me?  you're asking if the sub/slave will allow their Dom/Master to do something?
I understand the nature of your question, and it is a valid one, but, the way you state it makes me think, that you are not ready to submit.
just my humble opinion,
Ms Wicked.

(in reply to blossomtree)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 11:55:55 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I don't allow or disallow Master anything. We decided on the type of relationship we have and have agreed on things we want to and or don't want to. Things like adding another should be discussed in advance.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to blossomtree)
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RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 2:48:13 PM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		"Allow"...when choosing words...choose better. "Don't get another or I'll leave!" Is manipulative. I'm a firm believer in if you as an s-type didn't discuss it prior to the start of the relationship...the D-type has the right to take whatever action in reference to that topic as they choose.

As for the power dynamic I'm in...She DOES want a stable. However She won't have it at the risk of Her health the health of the household or those involved or at the risk of the relationships already formed. Which is why She told me to do the initial interviewing for any potential persons.

In my personal situation, the Woman I serve feels deeply connected to those She owns. How we feel and how what She does effects how we feel is taken into consideration when She chooses just about any action. She CHOOSES to act in this manner. Does this mean that some s-type is always getting their way? No. It means She tries to find a workable way for Her to have Her way and have a positive impact on the others involved.

No one other than Herself "allows" these types of things to happen in Her houshold.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 3:05:48 PM   
SlaveSoul


Posts: 14
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline 		greetings all,

mia (as a Gorean slave) does not have a right to "allow" or "disallow" anything that her Master does.  He chooses to let her know when He is intending to bring another slave into the house, and allows her to hold a position of dominance over any slave in His house; mia sees this as a privilege, not something she should be "expecting".

girl wishes all well,

mia{L}
Property of Logos.

(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 3:27:47 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Allow that is a strange term to use.  Master can basically do anything he wants i don't allow him   he does it all on his own.  Master will not have another sub for the simple reason he does not wan another and we agreed from the start i will be the only one.  Master would never break that agrement because he is an honourable man.  He also loves me as much as i love him.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to SlaveSoul)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 3:41:04 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I have to echo a few of the others, he does not need my permission to do whatever it is that he wants.  He makes choices and my approval or not is irrelevant in the matter.  What he won't do is something that he thinks will harm me.

Currently, he is not looking, nor is he open to having another slave.  If someone where to come along and click with all three of us, he might consider it, but he is content with what he has now. 

As for play partners, he is open to the idea but he does not search for them. 

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to blossomtree)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 4:36:45 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

Allow that is a strange term to use.  Master can basically do anything he wants i don't allow him   he does it all on his own.  Master will not have another sub for the simple reason he does not wan another and we agreed from the start i will be the only one.  Master would never break that agrement because he is an honourable man.  He also loves me as much as i love him.

Matt's littleone


Yup that pretty much sums up my relationship with my dominant. We talked in the beginning about others and came to the agreement that if any one else entered our relationship it would be by mutual agreement.

Communication up front is really very important.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 5:20:52 PM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blossomtree

and if he does want to take another sub or play with others, do you allow him to do that?


I might get crucified for this...but "allow" him?  As a slave, I would no more tell him what to wear, eat or drink then I would tell him whether or not he could have another slave or sub or playmate or whatever.  It just isn't what the dynamic is about for us.

We didn't set up a set of rules for his behaviors when we got together.  The relationship is such that as we grow closer and my resistance to his Mastery weakens, then more and more of my life is yielded to his control and direction.  There is no quid pro quo.  His life is his own and I do not determine the course of action it will take no matter the subject.

well wishes ~ fairer than she


_____________________________

The Nuclear Bomb of Awesome, rockin' the MoFo Hawk, still a bad-ass with a bouncy attitude, and spreading joy as a predator in Hello Kitty panties

Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

(in reply to blossomtree)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 5:51:31 PM   
violetaelf


Posts: 74
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline 		As LadyLinx said.. Poly or Mono should be discussed before you enter into the agreement/relationship with your partner. If you both agree on poly beforehand.. why would you worry about him bringing someone in (unless you still have issues with it) and if you agreed on mono and he now wants to try poly.. .decided if you are Ok to try it.. but if not, perhaps you are not as compatible.

If a Dom I'm with agreed on mono relationship and then flipped it around and decided on poly, I would have to leave because I know I will not be good in a poly relationship. But I could not allow or disallow him anything. I just have a choice to remain or leave the relationship that is different from what we have agreed on.

'violet'

(in reply to fairerthanshe)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 5:53:09 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		No he doesn't.
quote:

ORIGINAL: blossomtree

and if he does want to take another sub or play with others, do you allow him to do that?


Don't know. Our relationship started on the premise of being exclusive and those are the conditions I submitted to. If those conditions change we would have to reconsider the dynamic of our relationship. I wouldn't really view it as allowing him but as a change in our relationship that both of us need to discuss and agree to in order to ensure the health of our relationship.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 8/21/2007 5:54:01 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to blossomtree)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 6:03:30 PM   
NControlofU


Posts: 204
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		My slave wants another sub or slave to share her life and love and affection with.  I play with whoever I want and my slave plays with whoever I want.  My slave doesnt allow me to do anything.  Thats not her place.

quote:

ORIGINAL: blossomtree

and if he does want to take another sub or play with others, do you allow him to do that?

(in reply to blossomtree)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 6:31:29 PM   
ownedkitten


Posts: 200
Joined: 4/2/2007
Status: offline 		Master and I are both happiest in a poly relationship - we're not actively seeking another, but should the right person come along then we're open to the idea.  I do not "allow" him anything, as he is the Master and I am the kajira.  

_____________________________

"I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it." -Marilyn Monroe

(in reply to NControlofU)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 6:46:06 PM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		I allow my boys explorations other than me, and they knew that they would not be the only relationships with me from day one.


(in reply to ownedkitten)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: does your Dom/Master want another sub? - 8/21/2007 7:00:21 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		does Daddy want another submissive - no

would He take one as a play partner - no

would i allow Him to do that - it's called topping from the bottom and i would never top my Daddy or tell Him that He cannot have another submissive.




_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to blossomtree)
Profile   Post #: 20
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