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Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 8:07:22 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		There are a lot of people on here who are still in the closet about their interest in BDSM. They are afraid that their  spouse(male/female) will not approve. Is there something that can be said to the spouse to help them see your side of the issue. Lets keep this to a play without sex issue.
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RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 8:12:40 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Nope, I'm afraid it has to be kept in the closet forever, no hope at all, and they are the only one who has ever had to go through that tragedy before.

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(in reply to Dnomyar)
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RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 8:15:54 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

There are a lot of people on here who are still in the closet about their interest in BDSM. They are afraid that their  spouse(male/female) will not approve. Is there something that can be said to the spouse to help them see your side of the issue. Lets keep this to a play without sex issue.


It is a large, warm, and dark closet, very likeable. 

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Dnomyar)
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RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 8:20:10 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

There are a lot of people on here who are still in the closet about their interest in BDSM. They are afraid that their  spouse(male/female) will not approve. Is there something that can be said to the spouse to help them see your side of the issue. Lets keep this to a play without sex issue.


I think the masses rather enjoy sex with their bdsm....It's an oreos with milk kind of deal.

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RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 8:22:19 AM   
YourShyPet


Posts: 185
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline 		OH! (envious huffing and puffing) I NEVER EVEN KNEW ABOUT THE CLOSET!!!!... Do I get a turn too???

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kittin

http://www.myspace.com/daddys_kittin

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 8:26:10 AM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline 		I had a friend aske me what it was like coming out of the BDSM closet. My reply was....I have to be in a closet to come out.

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"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

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RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 9:29:05 AM   
spiral23


Posts: 1053
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		the lion, the whip and the closet...

(in reply to CrazyC)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 9:35:40 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I had someone ask me what they should do. 
My answer was you should have been honest a long time ago. After your married, getting your sig other to agree to allow you to play elsewhere is probably not going to go over real well, since it might be seen a a new interest becaue they are lacking. The issue with coming out is timing.  If you do so at the wrong time, your sig other could take it as something against them, rather than for you.
If you suggest they try it with you, that might be easier. If they like it, great. If they dont, then you can see if theyd be willing to allow you to explore elsewhere.

Not impossible, just tricky

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to spiral23)
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RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 9:39:50 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		I was submissive to my husband. Unfortunately he was not in the least bit dominant. In fact, he'd probably have been happier if I'd been dominant. Since I am interested in D/s rather than S&M, this could have worked with someone who was willing to be a responsible partner. Power exchange, in many forms, has been practiced for years. My giving power to my spouse could have worked out fine and I would never have a) divorced him, and b) gotten into the lifestyle community if I'd married someone different but vanilla.

Just my thoughts.

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"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to Dnomyar)
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RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 11:12:34 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Divorce is an option but is it the only one.

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RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 11:15:39 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YourShyPet

OH! (envious huffing and puffing) I NEVER EVEN KNEW ABOUT THE CLOSET!!!!... Do I get a turn too???


NOBODY expects the CLOSET!!!!! Nor do they expect the SPANISH INQUISITION!!!!!

Bernardo Gui
Cardinal Ximenez
Tomas de Torquemada

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 8/22/2007 11:22:00 AM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to YourShyPet)
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RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 11:22:54 AM   
LadySeraphina


Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline 		Ha! Then we'll make you understand! Biggles! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS!

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"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 11:23:38 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Produce the COMFY CHAIR!

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to LadySeraphina)
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RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 11:44:12 AM   
YourShyPet


Posts: 185
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourShyPet

OH! (envious huffing and puffing) I NEVER EVEN KNEW ABOUT THE CLOSET!!!!... Do I get a turn too???


NOBODY expects the CLOSET!!!!! Nor do they expect the SPANISH INQUISITION!!!!!

Bernardo Gui
Cardinal Ximenez
Tomas de Torquemada



Bad Newt... Naughty Naughty Newt.

_____________________________

kittin

http://www.myspace.com/daddys_kittin

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 11:49:08 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Bdsm. without the sex, is kinda like,  the old.."Father knows best: show....(yeah I am old). I know there is more than the sex, but it IS the sex. If that makes sense...and even if it doesn't.:)

Jeff

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 12:14:36 PM   
ChainsandFreedom


Posts: 222
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

there is more than the sex, but it IS the sex.


Yeah.
What Jeff said.
I will NEVER understand how you consider someone spouse-worthy who doesn't know about your sexual interest's. And its more than sex: its an aspect of personality. Even if it was a miraculous virgin marriage or a shot-gun she's pregnant kinda deal, how can you get married to someone and they're still surprised by this side of your personality?
Same lesson I learned when one of my best friends dad's divored his mom for another man. Sometimes the communication is a bigger issue than the sexuality.


(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 1:26:48 PM   
DS4DUMMIES


Posts: 180
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		...and did you notice that even when he became Marcus Welby...he STILL wasn't sleeping with anyone.....

DS4...who IS old....

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Bdsm. without the sex, is kinda like,  the old.."Father knows best: show....(yeah I am old). I know there is more than the sex, but it IS the sex. If that makes sense...and even if it doesn't.:)

Jeff

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 1:32:00 PM   
DS4DUMMIES


Posts: 180
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		I think it is important to realize that BDSM in a closet is awfully difficult. Let's look at using a bullwhip, for example. I think we can all agree that wielding a bullwhip in a closet is not the easiest thing to do.

....and how about coming out of the closet?  What fun is it if you have to open the closet to come?  but if you really think about it...who wants to come all over their clean clothes and shoes and the like in the closet?

...though a sealed closet IS a good place to keep a woman who is under consideration...(sorry... I had to )

Ds4



quote:

ORIGINAL: DS4DUMMIES

...and did you notice that even when he became Marcus Welby...he STILL wasn't sleeping with anyone.....

DS4...who IS old....

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Bdsm. without the sex, is kinda like,  the old.."Father knows best: show....(yeah I am old). I know there is more than the sex, but it IS the sex. If that makes sense...and even if it doesn't.:)

Jeff


(in reply to DS4DUMMIES)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 2:34:54 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Maybe if you had a nice big walk in closet?.....and ....if Carol Bradey was tied up in it?...maybe?

Jeff

(in reply to DS4DUMMIES)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Closet BDSM - 8/22/2007 2:54:29 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

There are a lot of people on here who are still in the closet about their interest in BDSM. They are afraid that their  spouse(male/female) will not approve. Is there something that can be said to the spouse to help them see your side of the issue. Lets keep this to a play without sex issue.


It is a large, warm, and dark closet, very likeable. 

Ron


Since I keep all my toys in the closet, being in it can be a rather enjoyable experience.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 20
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