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more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 1:03:21 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		I made a post on another thread on "Ask a Submissive" so if anyone would like to comment on that or how you see the place of politeness (or not) on these forums...I am interested in hearing all sides.


< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 8/22/2007 1:13:05 PM >
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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 1:20:47 PM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline 		Didn't see the other thread, but....

These forums are open discussion venues. They aren't 'real life' per se. they are just opinions turned into electrons by random keyboards.


Politeness isn't a bad thing, nor is it a rule, requirement, or indicator of anything in particular.

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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 1:25:11 PM   
angelikaJ


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Status: offline 		Alumbrado,
Thank you for your response.
aJ

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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 1:29:18 PM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
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Status: offline 		Most people are polite as far as I can tell and I’m working on my politeness one year at a time.

Byedebye

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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 1:31:34 PM   
angelikaJ


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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 2:24:42 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline 		Respect always helps communication, that is certain. Good manners are nothing but basic respect for another human being.

Of course, when one is repaid with scorn and contempt....politeness is quickly the first casualty, and necessarily so. I dont believe anyone wants to be that sort of doormat.

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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 2:27:45 PM   
FullCircle


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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

I dont believe anyone wants to be that sort of doormat.



What type of doormat do they want to be? 

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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 2:33:20 PM   
Sinergy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

Respect always helps communication, that is certain. Good manners are nothing but basic respect for another human being.



I was once asked why people were so nice to me.

I gazed at the person for a long moment, and responded...

"Because Im nice to them?"

I prefer to be polite.  I like the way I feel when I am polite.  On a related note, it tends to completely disarm the rude and nasty and abrasive and impolite and make all eyes in the room look unfavorably on that person.

Sinegy

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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 2:40:02 PM   
FullCircle


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Status: offline 		Humm, I think a lot of people read others wrong. Some see disrespect where there isn’t any and then ask why it’s such a nasty world. Only the person that wrote their words knows the intent behind them that’s why I try not to read too much into anything. Many comments made can be taken the wrong way I don’t see anyone going around calling people names. Why the investigation that seems to be quite a regular event?

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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 2:46:17 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
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Status: offline 		Greetings Celticlord2112 !
                    

I understand that.
No one wants to be that sort of doormat...well very few.
It has been my observation that sometimes someone other than let's say the OP will throw the first insult and others follow in suit.

Politeness and respect on a basic level shouldn't have to be earned im my opinion.
What happens after the first insult(s), changes the rules of engagement but to me it seems like responding in kind just adds fuel to the fire, and is that always the best tactic?

I very much appreciate that you shared your thoughts with me.

aJ



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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 2:50:42 PM   
Alumbrado


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quote:

and is that always the best tactic?


Not everyone is here for the same objective, so for some, that is a best tactic to achieve their 'debate' goals.

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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 2:57:49 PM   
angelikaJ


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Status: offline 		I tend to be the same way regarding how I treat people but I understand that not everyone takes the same approach to dialogue. I admit that some of the responses on these forums bother me while at the same time acknowledging that my opinion is not the only one that counts here in an open forum...there are many sides to everything.

Nice to meet you Sinergy
aJ

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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 2:59:59 PM   
violetaelf


Posts: 74
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Status: offline 		I think there is a place and time.

I remain polite when I talk to people, even if I may not agree with them.
I prefer to be at least civil if it's too late to be polite even as I make my point. But I'll be bunt at the same time.

Of course that doesn't mean that a little 'snakry' remark won't escape me (with a smiley-face to follow mind you)
Never a 100% perfect (oh my gawd! :) ) But I try.

The only thing that gets to me is when some people start a thread in the public forum but then do not like it when people don't agree with them for whatever reason. If someone asks a question or makes a comment - better expect all kind of answer positive and not very.. This is a big-wide-world out there.. and so many people with their own opinions.

'violet'

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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 3:04:38 PM   
FullCircle


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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

I admit that some of the responses on these forums bother me



Examples would be nice at this point in time. People are entitled to respond to a post how they feel as long as it within the TOS. Mocking you is their choice turning the other cheek is yours.

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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 3:06:51 PM   
seeksfemslave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ
I made a post on another thread on "Ask a Submissive" so if anyone would like to comment on that or how you see the place of politeness (or not) on these forums...I am interested in hearing all sides.


Well since there is no doubt whatsoever that I am probably the politest poster in the Off Topic Discussion Forum I simply do not understand why people get so personaly (sp?) antagonistic.

I am as perfect as Sinergy believes himself to be lol


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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 3:15:12 PM   
FullCircle


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Status: offline 		Debate is only any fun when people have passionate opinions about subjects and that means things get heated from time to time but don’t confuse how someone debates and nastiness. If we go down this route of saying all responses should be dispassionate then we may as well be talking about sandwich spreads and if crab paste gives rise to bad breath.

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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 3:18:57 PM   
seeksfemslave


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Status: offline 		I agree with that but it should be the subject under discussion that generates the "enthusiasm", not personal abuse and disrespect.

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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 3:22:26 PM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		Don’t you enjoy knowing someone has lost the argument when they start insulting you? Maybe that is just me.

I also still maintain that most of what is being said here is misunderstandings and I hardly ever see outright insults.

I'll have a slice of lemon with that politeness thanks.

< Message edited by FullCircle -- 8/22/2007 3:27:16 PM >

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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 3:31:21 PM   
angelikaJ


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Joined: 6/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FullCircle

Humm, I think a lot of people read others wrong. Some see disrespect where there isn’t any and then ask why it’s such a nasty world. Only the person that wrote their words knows the intent behind them that’s why I try not to read too much into anything. Many comments made can be taken the wrong way I don’t see anyone going around calling people names. Why the investigation that seems to be quite a regular event?


I just want to listen to other peoples opinions.
I think you are right and that comments can be taken the wrong way or out of context...unfortunately I have seen some name calling.

Thanks for your input FullCircle.

aJ

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RE: more politeness anyone? - 8/22/2007 3:36:56 PM   
philosophy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado


Politeness isn't a bad thing, nor is it a rule, requirement, or indicator of anything in particular.


(my italics)

....i tend to disagree with the italicised part of this i'm afraid. In my opinion politeness as a starting point is an indicator of someone who is aware that the mode of delivery as much as the message influences how people percieve what we say.
Contentious argument is delivered in A) a polite way, or B) an aggressive way. A) is more likely to be heard than B).......therefore politeness is an aid to communication.

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