Why? (Full Version)

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plspickme -> Why? (8/22/2007 3:53:09 PM)

Why is it when you meet a man he is never what he says he is?. He may be nice and all, but he is never the Master or the Dom he leads you to believe he is. Some of them lie, but i honestly believe that they really do believe what they write and tell you on the phone. Any insight? Or is it just me?



PONYSEEKER -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 4:01:17 PM)

Wow!  what a loaded question.
Is it that they are not truly what they say they are or is it that they are not what they say they are 24/7?



littlebitxxx -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 4:12:03 PM)

I think you met up with a bad one.  I found that the ones I got the chance to meet personally were for the most part just what/who they said they were.  Mind you, it took an awful lot of online or onphone talking to get to the point.  The man in my life now is exactly and more so everything he made himself out to be.  I was amazed that he even turned out to be a real human and not just a figment of my over-active imagination.  Man or Dom, he is everything I could ever have hoped for.



callistaIn -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 4:13:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: plspickme

Why is it when you meet a man he is never what he says he is?. He may be nice and all, but he is never the Master or the Dom he leads you to believe he is. Some of them lie, but i honestly believe that they really do believe what they write and tell you on the phone. Any insight? Or is it just me?

For the same reason that when you meet a woman she may not be what you envisioned.

If I meet someone, and they are not what I at first envisioned; I place the blame on myself for not communicating effectively ( this is in situations where no actual lies were ever uttered ). Either way, relationships take time to develop; they do not fall right in place simply because two people decided to meet each other. It takes time to learn each other; and to find out if you are actually compatible.

best of wishes

callie



Tinman1960 -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 4:14:09 PM)

PERHAPS what they are, and/or, what they believe they are, is subjective interpertation ?



rmanrr -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 4:26:50 PM)

Awwww Shucks.....Greetings
(sticks toe in the ground and sort of looks all shy...)
My love I am only the man I am....and I am damn happy and proud we have made each other our own. 20 days. a lot shorter countdown than the last one...but still seems longer....I want to speak to the person in charge of time and have them speed it up....cuz I said so and I am the domly Dom INANT!...I have spoken!



plspickme -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 4:31:21 PM)

They say they are Dominant, but can't make a decision by themselves,. they say they are strong and mascukline, yet when you meet them in person some barely utter a word.

Thanks, for everyone's responses so far. This is a great site and everyone on here including the people who have contacted me have been nice too. i am so looking forward to what the future holds for me.



Petruchio -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 4:33:28 PM)

Outwardly it's a simple question, but you have many possible answers depending upon the couple and the interpersonal dynamics.

First, is the question of maturity (and to a related degree age). I don't like the term 'wannabee', but sometimes people flounder when finding their footing.

Secondly, you're dealing with real people, not an actor on a stage set. As PonySeeker suggested, it's not possible to be 'on' all the time.

Thirdly, individuals have things they're good at and things they're not. You may have someone dominant but maybe he isn't good at, say fixing cars, hunting bear, or might even need practice in the bedroom! It doesn't make him any less of a man or less of a dom.

Finally, only you know the answer to this, but could you have done anything to improve or alter the experience?

Of course, I'm speaking only from observation, since I have so few flaws … (snigger)



WhiplashSmile -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 4:37:57 PM)

Strange the same things happens with some of the women online too.  Where they are not what they made themselves out to be.   It's just a little easier for people to pull this crap Long Distance and online that's all.  



Angelsmile -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 4:47:13 PM)

Being in power is like a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.
 
So better you dont chose the ones who tell you they are. Those who really are dont need that.



feastie -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 4:49:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: plspickme

Why is it when you meet a man he is never what he says he is?. He may be nice and all, but he is never the Master or the Dom he leads you to believe he is. Some of them lie, but i honestly believe that they really do believe what they write and tell you on the phone. Any insight? Or is it just me?


Have you considered the possiblity that you might just be building castles in the air about them?  Making them more than they are because that's what you're looking for?  Making assumptions instead of asking for clarification?



goodpet -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 5:04:16 PM)

Could it be you are meeting them online.. So easy to be more then reality on here. (not me of couse.. i am the perfect sub, and beautiful, rich and have the body of a model)

Try going to events, munches, clubs, meetings, conferences, and other face to face real life activities...



NControlofU -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 5:06:27 PM)

No.  Its not just you.  And its not just doms either.  Plenty of subs lie too and arent' what they portray online.  Not every sub just like not every dom is a liar or a fake or a player but plenty of them are.  Maybe your too eager to believe what they are telling you.  Or your a little too eager to meet quickly before you get to know whether they are being honest with you and they are just telling you what you want to hear.  Maybe you need to readjust your screening process before you agree to meet them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: plspickme

Why is it when you meet a man he is never what he says he is?. He may be nice and all, but he is never the Master or the Dom he leads you to believe he is. Some of them lie, but i honestly believe that they really do believe what they write and tell you on the phone. Any insight? Or is it just me?



slaveluci -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 5:24:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: plspickme
Why is it when you meet a man he is never what he says he is?  He may be nice and all, but he is never the Master or the Dom he leads you to believe he is

Never say never[;)].  The One I met was way more than He said He was.  He is more than I could have imagined.  Hang in there.  They aren't all disappointments, I assure you.........luci



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 5:54:07 PM)

As feastie suggested- perhaps in the future you shouldn't decide who a person is before you meet them and spend time with them.



ProfJoe -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 7:01:11 PM)

Have you ever heard yourself speak on tape? Isn't it weird and unpleasantly different from howyou think you sound?

We all have an image of ourselves that is different from reality. In addition, when we meet people we tend to try to give them what they want ... so they like us.

For a long time I hired people for a company I worked in ... ran into the same thing. You just don't hire them. Or, you give them a 90 day trial if you're desperate, and then fire their ass.

Best wishes,
(Prof.) Joe



KiandPhoenix -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 9:23:05 PM)

I met up with a girl in TX once. Her husband told her that I woldn't be who I said I was down to saying that the pic on my profile would not look anything like me (same pic on my profile now).

Once I got there she had to correct him. I am a bit odd though, because I decided a long tome ago that I was going to be exactly who I am reguardless of what anyone else thinks. 95% of peoople hate me for being so odd, but I don't have to hide anymore.

Why some people don't is probably related to the idea that you can pretend to be anything online. They never think that someone might just like that person, and make them face reality.

Spell check is not working sorry.

~Ki



Honsoku -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 9:31:37 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: plspickme

They say they are Dominant, but can't make a decision by themselves,. they say they are strong and mascukline, yet when you meet them in person some barely utter a word.


Not being able to make decisions would be an issue. However, one can be strong and masculine without being talkative. Dominant ≠ extrovert.

Honsoku



slaverosebeauty -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 9:34:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: plspickme
Why is it when you meet a man he is never what he says he is?.


'never' is a long time. I think you need to rethink that.
 
When I met MJ, He was BETTER than who He said HE was and who I knew as a close friend. After years of being friends, I thought I 'knew' Him and what He would be like in person, He was funnier than I thought He would be and after the other night, He is 'more' to me than I thought He ever would be. MJ wasn't who He said He is, He is BETTER.
 
In comparrison to other men I have met, sure some have been liars, its how that works some times, others have been transparent and they were who they said they were to the letter. It just depends on the person and the circumstances.
 
To the OP, you have been on this site all ovef what, 9 or 10 days; you can't hoenstly and realistically make any decision about men on this site in such a short amount of time.



plspickme -> RE: Why? (8/22/2007 10:00:45 PM)

Thank you, eveyone for all of your insight and input. i know that He is out there and waiting for me. Although i have searched for years i have the feeling that any minute now... :)



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