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keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 5:40:08 AM

goodslave0319

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i want to know if it is okay if i kept a secret from a Mistress/Master .

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 5:57:54 AM

adoracat

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if you've promised honesty, its never ok.

i am never allowed to dodge a direct question. i MUST answer those. and generally Sir only asks direct questions that affect my well-being, so i know its to protect me.

kitten

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 6:08:24 AM

slavedb

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Its never okay to keep secrets from your Master/Mistress. Especially if that secret affects them too.

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 6:08:50 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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depending on your dynamic and the closeness/trust within your relationship.

personally, i kept a secret from Daddy (for a good reason) because i wasn't ready to share it with - it was hard talking about the effect of my oldest UM being hit by train had on me and my life. He knew the bare basics of what happened however He didn't know the detailed facts which i wasn't ready to reveal - plus i wanted to discuss it to Him not as His daughter but like one of His patients (Daddy's a respected psychiatrist) so i could heal. so far after 3 private session, i'm starting to heal and recover from carrying the pain and guilt for 7yrs.

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 6:39:20 AM

pearlmoongirl

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I just remembered a scene from one of my favorite novels, where the two main characters are trying to hash out a hurried marriage (to save her, the time traveler, from being taken by the English for torture/questioning). She obviously has things she doesn't want to tell him, and he can tell. So he says: "There should be room (between us) for secrets but not for lies."

So my question to you, goodslave, is: did you keep a secret or tell a lie, even by omission? Were you asked a direct question and answered with a lie? Or was there information you could or should have told your Dom/me that would have affected your relationship somehow?

I don't think secrets are necessarily a dealbreaker, that's what I'm trying to say. But I also suspect that it takes an extreme amount of self-awareness and honesty and trust on both sides to agree that secrets are acceptable - and the type of secret you are allowed to withhold matters, too.

~pmg

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 7:38:51 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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It's ok once you've gotten permission.

This is mostly useful for things like birthday presents and surprises you want to wait for.

Otherwise, generally, it's not a good idea. Even talking to my slave friends I KNOW that they might need to tell their masters what we talk about. I accept that part of our friendship and know it would be wrong of me to try and limit them in any way.

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 7:43:15 AM

trusting

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keeping a secret from 'One' is a lot like lying to them, i myself would have to say not to. you are trusting this person enough to submit to them, then you should also trust them enough not to hide anything from them!

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 7:44:43 AM

littleone35

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Depends on the secret. If it is something that will hurt you someone else or you relationship than no it is not ok. if it is something you are not ready to talk about tell him that.

I don't have secrets from my Master . I trust him with my life and heart so why woulden't i trust him with my secrets.

Matt's littleone

Matt's

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 8:15:27 AM

mastersgemm

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As is the general feel in these posts - I don't think it's a wise decision to ever keep secrets, nevermind from your Master/Mistress

Also, not knowing the circumstance or the nature of the secret, makes it hard to comment

Was it something that happened before your Master/Mistress took you on? Is it a birthday secret? Is it a lie? It could be many things

I've just found in life, in general, lying or keeping secrets from those you profess to love is going to hurt someone, sometime.

gem,
xo

(in reply to littleone35)

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 10:21:12 AM

subsfaith

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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodslave0319

i want to know if it is okay if i kept a secret from a Mistress/Master .

I use the same rule with Sir as I do with my children... it is ok to keep surprises, but not secrets.

Fatih

(in reply to goodslave0319)

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 2:13:04 PM

Constanza

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I will never ever keep something a secret for my Master as that is not trust worthy towards him.
And even so if i wanted to... he knows me better then i know myself... so he will know if i lie....lol

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 2:15:55 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodslave0319

i want to know if it is okay if i kept a secret from a Mistress/Master .

What kinda secret? I keep certain secrets. Like where his birthday present is hidden.

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 2:20:30 PM

Constanza

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

What kinda secret? I keep certain secrets. Like where his birthday present is hidden.

Hahahaha i don't tell him how we cellebrate his birthday in 2 years....... is that a secret to?

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 2:31:39 PM

slavegirljoy

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From: North Carolina, USA
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Personally, i hate secrecy, except when i am planning a surprise party or something. i can't stand the burden of keeping something a secret. And, i would never think of keeping the truth from the most trusted person in my life, my Master. If i can't be myself and open myself up to Him, completely, then it's just no good for me. i have to feel that i can tell Him anything and that He will still accept me. That's why i made sure He was a man i could trust before i ever accepted His collar. i wouldn't be owned by anyone i couldn't be comfortable telling everything to.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

"Commitment transforms a promise into a reality."

quote:

ORIGINAL: goodslave0319

i want to know if it is okay if i kept a secret from a Mistress/Master .

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 3:08:49 PM

slaveish

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There are secrets ... and then there are secrets. Why would you want to keep something from the M? To stay out of trouble? To exert power and keep control? Put yourself in the M's place: would you want / need to know this secret?

Since you are asking the question, you probably already know the answer.

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If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 3:47:15 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodslave0319

i want to know if it is okay if i kept a secret from a Mistress/Master .

I am to tell him everything, and I do. Except of course when I'm planning a birthday gift. :)

The thing is, I asked him to become my Master. In doing so, I want him to know me as well as possible, so he can make the right decisions for me. If he doesn't know me, how can he know what direction to lead me in? Of course, there are those who keep secrets from their owners, and then blame the owner later on when things don't work out...

So what do you think? You're asking the question here, so something in you must already think it's wrong, eh?

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 4:01:31 PM

Sabella

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pearlmoongirl
"There should be room (between us) for secrets but not for lies."

I love this :) I have all sorts of secrets, as does he - but no lies. It depends on the "secret". Is is something to do with the past? then let it stay in the past, unspoken perhaps one day it won't even be a memory even to you. If it's something that is having an effect on your relationship, well, then you have to determine which will cause the most damage, to tell or not to tell. If it's something that personally hurts YOU (something you're ashamed of) telling someone can often be beneficial to healing the wound.

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 4:33:39 PM

kyraofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Even talking to my slave friends I KNOW that they might need to tell their masters what we talk about. I accept that part of our friendship and know it would be wrong of me to try and limit them in any way.

This is usually one of the first things I mention when I start talking with someone who knows that I am a slave. He has access to all of my emails and reads them whenever he wants. Usually, he has me read them to him and what he is most interested in is what I say. What other's say to me is not as important to him.

To the OP...

I don't keep secrets from him because that is what was agreed to from the beginning. He doesn't really keep secrets from me and Alandra either. He doesn't want a relationship where there are things that can't be shared between us. That being said, there are somethings that just are not shared right away or at all because they are not that significant. However, the day we think we can't share things with each other would be an indication that there is something not quite right in our relationship.

Knight's Kyra

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 10:08:42 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

However, the day we think we can't share things with each other would be an indication that there is something not quite right in our relationship.

Knight's Kyra

I agree... and I struggled tell in you that I love Plaid and Polyester.. that it is a fetish.. and I am hugely turned on by it.... I didn't want you to thing I was a sicko.... since the common fetish is Leather, Rubber and Latex.... now if I only can tell you about my love for Disco.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: keep a secret from a Mistress/Master - 8/24/2007 10:10:42 PM

kyraofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

However, the day we think we can't share things with each other would be an indication that there is something not quite right in our relationship.

Knight's Kyra

I agree... and I struggled tell in you that I love Plaid and Polyester.. that it is a fetish.. and I am hugely turned on by it.... I didn't want you to thing I was a sicko.... since the common fetish is Leather, Rubber and Latex.... now if I only can tell you about my love for Disco.

What about your seemingly odd fascination with rhymes? Do you struggle with that one too, my Lord? *eg*

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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