RE: Overuse of "Abuse"

A person would have to e living in a shed in the woods not to know abusive men cloak themselves as "Doms" or "Masters" and troll BDSM sites for subbies and slaves on the theory that we are stupid and gullable and easy marks. i personally have spoken to women who have been put in the emergency room -- safe words were completely disregarded -- and local district attorneys would not prosecute because they did not think a jury could grasp the concept that a woman could consent to being tied to a bed and tickled, and not consent to being chained to a radiator for three days and beaten with chains. Other women with such severe injuries worried about being "outted" to their families -- especially since they just made a collasal mistake and allowed an abuser to isolate and wound them.

i have preached, over and over, that women -- and men, for that matter -- need to take adequate safety precautions when meeting someone in real life whom they first contacted on the internet. Such safety measures begin before the meeting. Getting a picture of his driver's license. Setting up safe calls. Meeting in a public place. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY -- not having sex/playing with him -- on the first meeting. The reason this matters is that the woman should NOT BE ALONE with him on the first meeting; he has not built up enough trust as yet. So check your hormones at the door.

Everyone diverges from this rule, once in awhile, whether from loneliness or because they feel a "click". If that happens, give the hotel name and address and room number to your safe call person and tell him/her when you can be disturbed again....say at 8am the next morning.

Finally, trust your instincts. If you begin to feel fear, get away any way you can; who the hell cares if you are naked or left your purse? Run to the hotel office and ask for help. Be a survivor.

BTW -- i have Sadist friends; good men who have taught me some of what They do. They take great care -- and long periods of time -- to move a woman into a place where a pain triggers an erotic response. They are extremely concerned with safety and with a woman's pleasure, and would NEVER move past a woman's erotic responses. They do contact women who display some masocistic tendencies in their profiles but in general, They are as turned of by pain sluts as my other Dom and Master friends. They seek a woman who is open-minded and otherwise well-matched to Them...and Their searches are as difficult as any other Dom's or Master's.

pleasureforHim