What do you look for in Profiles?

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What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/24/2007 9:30:51 PM

SirDraco7

Posts: 108
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline

Hello all.

Just a quick question to everyone. Basically what do you seek and look for in profiles? What appeals to you in it?

Picture? interests? the tone of the profile? How sexual or nonsexual it is? how vanilla it is? how open and honest? the journal? etc etc etc.

Is a Dom who is very stern and strict sounding who lists rules and activities that appeal to you have more or less or equal value over a Dom who is very plain and non forceful, who lists many similar interests but Focuses little on sex and d/s?

Everyone is different and every profile is different in their unique ways. Basically what appeals to you in profiles?

Post #: 1

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/25/2007 6:07:56 AM

HaveRopeWillBind

Posts: 514
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline

Draco,

If everyone in the forums responded to this you would be unlikely to get two identical answers. Everyone has their own individual buttons and turn ons. You never know how any given profile will affect a particular individual until after they have seen it and then their reaction won't mirror the next reader's.

If you are asking this question to get ideas to fine tune your own profile I would suggest that you not go at it from that direction but rather just write a profile that reflects your true self and your desires and feelings about the lifestyle. That way if you do meet anyone through your profile they will not be disappointed and will happily discover that your profile does indeed reflect your personality. Think if it this way; your profile is your first impression, the first meeting is like a second first impression, but if they don't match up then things aren't likely to proceed far from there. Never forget that trust is the foundation of any short or long term D/s relationship. You can lose trust instantly if you and your profile don't match up well at that first meeting.

(in reply to SirDraco7)

Post #: 2

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/25/2007 6:51:33 AM

SirDraco7

Posts: 108
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline

::nods:: Thank you. And I agree, if everyone replied there would be no 2 same answers. And that is the point, in a way.

I posted this just as I have the couple other posts I've posted, to perhaps start conversation. I did so because I'm also curious as to what submissives look at and for more. There might be more in favor of one thing as opposed to another.

As for my profile? Maybe I might use insight gained here to fine tune it some, but that is not my plan nor intention. If it happens it happens. I like it as it is. It's blunt, in your face and holds nothing back. It's who I am and I won't hide it. I don't lie and I say it all. If they can't accept it now what says they will in 2 months when they find out later? I like it because it's my personality and who I am. which is... Unique. :)

Like I said, mostly has to do with the desire to learn and understand more in some way as well as the desire to spark (unique) conversation. Maybe the next post it will happen perhaps? Maybe when I post a similar type thread in the Dom section? who knows. :)

Thank again for your reply.

(in reply to HaveRopeWillBind)

Post #: 3

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/25/2007 7:05:42 AM

HaveRopeWillBind

Posts: 514
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline

Draco,
Maybe what you really need is a thread on "What traits in a dominant turn you off as a submissive?" You could likely learn a lot from what they dislike.

(in reply to SirDraco7)

Post #: 4

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/25/2007 7:47:28 AM

SirDraco7

Posts: 108
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline

Perhaps. Yes I would learn a lot from it. Perhaps in the future I'll post such a question.
But this question is unique too as it is unique.
Dominants are well known for being deceptive. The stuff that turns people off might not be found out untill after they are met. Done as such so they can get into the subs mind and get the meeting and have that much more of a chance than if they showed the turn off right off.
As such how many "very decent"/ "well written" profiles and/or pictures have you seen that have had a.. not what they first seemed sort of dominant behind it?

I see and hear things from submissives all the time saying "All the Doms I meet are bad" " Or why do every Dom I meet have to be a fake?" or etc etc etc. The same old same old comments that many girls have given over the course of online.
My assumption is that somewhere along the line, the "first impression" of the profile caught their interest and things went from there. Now I'm not looking for replies from people with bad experiences, just all kinds of experiences.
I'm just saying that just because a Dom might be perfectly oppositte of what a sub desires and seeks he might attract her nonetheless because his profile is.. good.

So a thread on turn offs would help me learn true enough, but a thread of this nature would as well. After all what makes one profile better than all the others in their eyes? ::smiles and shrugs::

Thank you for the idea for the future date. :)

(in reply to HaveRopeWillBind)

Post #: 5

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/25/2007 9:53:36 AM

slaveish

Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline

Normalcy, sanity, humor, similarities of goals, decent intellect, non-clingy tendency, a fair amount of self-confidence ... and the ultimate: enough arrogance to make me sit up and take notice of the rest.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to SirDraco7)

Post #: 6

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/25/2007 10:41:00 AM

GhitaAmati

Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline

Decent grammer and the ability to string more than three cohearent sentances together.

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to slaveish)

Post #: 7

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/25/2007 10:57:23 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

if the profile has the usual: i'm strict but loving; ___ years of experience; their picture has them clad in leather bdsm gear; they head up any of the local groups, or are well-known in the bdsm community; i pass them by because usually they are faking their way through it, are bdsm wannabe's, or narrcassits who are just looking for another ego stroking.

what i do look for is the guy with a real-life, normal picture, that doesn't brag and boast about his domliness, shows a sense of humor in his words, and has a sense of normalacy in the context of his life.

(in reply to SirDraco7)

Post #: 8

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/25/2007 11:04:29 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

what do i look for?

someone who has other interests besides BDSM, a good command of the English language with clear and concise sentence structure (if your profile SCREAMS with caps and is jumbled together - i'll pass).

things about profiles that turn me off - written in a "on your knees down bitch" tone in writing, one liners that makes no sense or leaves me clueless about the person and written in a foreign language other than Spanish (i get many Dutch and Germans viewing my profile lately) .

as you can see i'm very picky when choosing someone and i have a right to be - i'm the one holding the control before transferring it to you.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to SirDraco7)

Post #: 9

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/25/2007 11:08:05 AM

solia

Posts: 115
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline

I like profiles that show a person's personality, likes and dislikes outside of Ds. I also like to see a person's intelligence and their ability to think. Ds is a negotiable arena but it's not going to be a fun arena if I can't get along with the rest of the person. I think that if you list every activity that you enjoy, it takes the joy of discovery away and limits a person's thoughts or expectations of you when you do meet. Personally, I'm not really all that interested in just servicing a bottom so I leave my 'activities' out of my profiles now. I don't want someone molding themselves to my desires just so they can get off on a spanking or a harsh word.

A profile that just lists a bunch of kinks and talks alot about sex and how they intend to dominate the submissive/bottom/slave just leads me to believe that the person really isn't Ds but just in need of some kink or a predator saying all the right things to attract that one submissive victim.

I agree with HaveRopeWillBind, be honest and truthful. The impression given through the profile will be remembered when meeting.

Personally, I get tired of my profile and rewrite it occasionally. I'm not exactly the same every day and neither is my profile exactly reflective of me everyday. I don't wield a whip all day long either so why should my profile give the impression that I'm in high boots, sexy lingerie, a whip in my hand and a stern look on my face? At times, such as the current one, my profile will reflect more of what I'm not looking for and what I won't tolerate.

solia

< Message edited by solia -- 8/25/2007 11:23:33 AM >

(in reply to SirDraco7)

Post #: 10

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/25/2007 11:48:35 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Anyone who has ever gotten my attention has written like they've talked.
When their profile seems scripted, all I can think is that they are either fake or trying too hard. When they are comfortable with their words then one can get a much better first impression. None of that probably makes any sense. I really don't know how to put into words what really makes me stop and pay attention.

(in reply to SirDraco7)

Post #: 11

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/25/2007 11:55:55 AM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

I would look for something that may be unique to that person,I also would look for some basis of common sense, a sort of reality as opposed to fantasy meanderings.I look at location,a bit of a sense of humor reflected within is always a plus, and what they are seeking.And as some have said,the ability to be concise and intelligient within their written word....Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 12

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/25/2007 11:56:47 AM

shyinini

Posts: 550
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDraco7
I did so because I'm also curious as to what submissives look at and for more.

I'll bite cause when I write questions like this,

I enjoy the answers, for curiosity sake.

Each site has different criteria to view, I like that part.

First, after reading their information and if I half like it,

I see how tall they are.

Second, if they have a friends network,

I look at their friends.

Third, I look at their journal, blog and forum postings.

Usually this can tell me if they are half

of what they write in their profile.

I specifically stated in my profile

(I no longer have a looking one)

what is important to me

and some of my strengths and weaknesses.

So I look for that criteria in my search

~~ if its too good to be true...

~~ if it seems totally weird (my definiton),

~~too kinky (sadist or fetishier),

~~too selfish

(all about him and not the relationship)

~~ looking for play vs relationship

~~sets up demands

(since I dont/didnt)

~~ I do look at pics, if any (on another site,

a self portrait doesnt have to be the main pic,

so looking at the gallary of pics is

a show of their personality)

or interests (says alot about a person)

~~weight

(I admit I am vain...bald, short, fat? NO !)

Then I sit back and dont make contact.

Sir found me and we started communicating

based on my blog.

Sir's girl, who has the man in her tagline

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.

(in reply to SirDraco7)

Post #: 13

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/25/2007 4:16:24 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

Strangely enough, I tend to look for profiles of people who seem real and fun (like having a good sense of humor). I know some submissive males really seem to like the strict, no nonsense ("you will read my profile by reading EVERY THIRD WORD and then stopping at the 7th sentence and read EVERY FOURTH WORD backwards. If you FAIL to do this, you will not be allowed to EVER send me a note saying "Is this Mary Lou? The girl I knew in kindergarten???" without me blocking you, your stuffed animals and four of the surrounding states located near you! Only after you have notarized and faxed a copy to your lawyer will you be allowed to send me an EXACTLY 17 word introduction of yourself, explaining who you are, where you're from, how long you've been in the scene, where you went to school, how many cavities you've had in your lifetime, what shows have you not yet watched on your DVR or TIVO, and exactly how much tread is left on your two back tires") type, but I really prefer the sense of humor kind.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to SirDraco7)

Post #: 14

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/25/2007 7:12:45 PM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

Well written, articulate and humourous profiles by people who don't take themselves too seriously appeal the most to me.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 15

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/25/2007 7:56:23 PM

Hisbellaluna

Posts: 127
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

well...after reading your profile in a passing manner i would say the biggest turn off would be that you said something to the effect of "I am a Master" no less than 3 times in a very short profile...and no offence intended, but those that i have met that had the kind of Dominance i am looking for have never uttered the words "I am a Dominant" much less "I am a Master" unless it was in a very humorus situation (and included the women in the room laughing their ass off becuase he was either beating his chest and speaking in caveman dialect or had his shorts pulled up to his nipples)....that aside...a good, clear, not-work, picture would be nice...one where we can see your face would be ideal...just your face is fine...or if you have leather...leather is hot...mmmm
good luck

_____________________________

Formerly known as chellekitty...

Do not be like servants who serve their masters expecting to receive a reward; be rather like servants who serve their master unconditionally, with no thought of reward. --Antigonus of Sokho

(in reply to Viridana)

Post #: 16

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/25/2007 8:30:14 PM

heartcream

Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline

the pic is great to have, makes for a lot less indecision. i am into form/body, as well as mind/spirit, heart, and feelings. i love a good read and i have read some great profiles, and forum posts that have very few words or loads of words. i love a good laff so yeah bein funny is very attractive to me.

_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat

(in reply to Hisbellaluna)

Post #: 17

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/26/2007 2:18:10 AM

trusting

Posts: 144
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Virginia
Status: offline

the most appealing thing to me is when the Dom allows you to see him as a person and not only as Dom. One that appears to speak to only me... one that is not demanding or degrading and that also shows that there are more interests in his life other than BDSM.

_____________________________

"Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one." -Malcolm Forbes

(in reply to heartcream)

Post #: 18

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/26/2007 10:37:36 AM

valkyriesdaughte

Posts: 38
Joined: 6/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: trusting

the most appealing thing to me is when the Dom allows you to see him as a person and not only as Dom. One that appears to speak to only me... one that is not demanding or degrading and that also shows that there are more interests in his life other than BDSM.

I'll second that. AS has already been posted, I'll bypass the ones who claims a great deal of "experience, expertise, well known- leader in the community blah blah blah". Knowledge is wonderful, expereince s a good teacher; but if you are a "master" of all trades, know everything and everybody, and are wonderful to boot- gee, all those subs who know you so well in your community should be lining up for a chance to woo you. Why are you here?

(in reply to trusting)

Post #: 19

RE: What do you look for in Profiles? - 8/26/2007 9:21:49 PM

Vigilantejustice

Posts: 106
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

Well well, what turns me on or off in a profile? Pretty much the same things that do it for me IRL. Honesty, integrity, poise, respectfulness for my time and humanity: all good. Flashy overhyping, blatant unintelligence, and an "I own you even though I never met you before" attitude? This is not the sub you're looking for, you may move on. Oh yeah, and an appreciation for random pop cultural references doesn't hurt. ;-)

Justice
The Geek Goddess

(in reply to SirDraco7)

Post #: 20

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