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KnightofMists -> RE: Slave for hire!! (8/28/2007 7:46:59 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Noah
quote:
ORIGINAL: Nottalking
Ok I'm a "vanilla" as this group calls my sexual preference. I was invited to read the post on here, to better understand this side of a person that I wanted to know. After a lot of reading of not only here, but on bondage.com and several other sites (spent the afternoon) there are many things I don't understand. One of them is why a person would subject themselves to pain to please someone. Now I wonder why a person would agree to "rent" themselves out as well.
My post is inspired by that of Nottalking but it does not address her or him.
I'm pleased that this contribution was dropped into this thread (most of it would have fit as well in any number of other threads.)
Nottalking seems to be a person with little or no experience with or exposure to BDSM who--accordingly--has little understand. Unsuprising and unobjectionable, in my view.
What I do find objectionable are comments seemingly loaded with some sort of moral indignation: "Why would ANYone EVER do something like that (i.e something the writer happens not to prefer) with someone they value?"
How often is this question put in reference to bondage, sadomasochism, power exchange of this sort or that, by people with no experience or exposure to BDSM?
Most of us have some experience with bondage and/or S/M and or power-exchange, etc. We can generaously make allowances for the lack of understanding and empathy on the part of clueless vanillas, if we choose to, and I usually try to.
But look, the things most of *us* are experienced with are things which most non BDMSers would probably describe as somewhere between inappropriate and beyond abhorrent as ways to interact with one whom you value.
The clueless vanilla who abhors the activities which you and your partner(s) share has a good excuse for his or her ignorance and narrowness. And one of them who admits this ignorance (in the strict sense of lack of knowledge) and comes here to see whether this might be worth learning about, well I count that person laudable.
On the other hand, if you, for instance, enjoy binding or administering pain to or dominating someone you value, I suggest that you suffering from a failure of both imagination and human empathy if you can't find some less negative response than "abhorrence" for an activity which two or more responsible adults engage in consensually and personally find meaning and fulfillment it.
Even if that happens to be hiring out.
As other have mentioned, hiring out needn't involve money and it needn't involve sex. All sorts of hiring goes on in the world in terms of barter or trade-in-kind, among other possibilities. SOme of those possibilities include what we might call pro-bono work (Ron, please insert quip about the pro and the bone here).
Those who centered their responses on jumping to conclusions about sex and money are failing to consider a tremendously broad range of options. That said, hiring out might indeed involve money or sex or both. If it does it might be nothing more than straight-up prostitution or it might be far more, and far more meanigful to the people involved than mere prostitution--just a whack on the ass between you and your "one" may mean a whole lot more to each of you than the mere physics and biology of a hand meeting a heinie at speed.
I'm grateful to all who have shared their views in this thread but most especially to those including Padraig and that pixie-ish looking girl who demonstrated the ability to walk a little way in another person's shoes before dolloping out the moral indignation.
To put a finer point on it I'd like to offer a rhetorical questions about how it is that to beat, slice and burn one's partner might either be heinous or be an lovely expression of care,depending on the context, whereas to "hire her (or him) out" is necessarily a hateful thing?
Maybe your kink is wax play and your neighbor's is hiring out.
Do we hafta be hating on other people's fully consensual kinks?
I mean there are potential kinks that I'm very happy to hate on. I'm all in favor of being judgemental. I just think we we should use some judgement about just what we're gonna be judgemental about.
Activities I'm likely to condemn don't tend to be between healthy consenting adults, and missturbation has never struck me as less healthy than the norm around here.
Your thoughts?
Great post Noah..
and really liked what Padraig posted in this thread as well.
To the shoe girl that is scared of spiders... I hope it works out well for you...
But alas... all I can say.. is I have been known to give my slaves for the use of others... Now here I see that you can Hire them out!!! well shit .... I lost alot of coin!!!! here!!!...
ROB!!!.. Payment is the saw!!!!! *G* No more freebies... I found out that I can hire her out!!!
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