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RE: Words of wisdom needed - 8/27/2007 12:27:34 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mzchristina

Thank you A/all for your advice and wisdom. It has made me decide i do not want to be with Him and move on and grow into a beautiful butterfly. This is going to be a start of a new beginning for me. I will seek someone that wants to be with me and help me evolve into something i want/need to become.

Thank you again,
christina

I'm glad you have made the right choice for you...my only hope is you get to know yourself some and take some time for just you...before getting into another relationship...and for what its worth i'm sorry you were lied to and cheated on....guys that do that are not worth your effort.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to mzchristina)

Post #: 41

RE: Words of wisdom needed - 8/27/2007 7:13:57 PM

BeingChewsie

Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mzchristina

In reguards to me being cold and manipulative. I just dont get how you come to that conclusion. You know she knew about me and she insisted on getting involved she asked for this i didnt. As far as her being invested in this relationship she isnt. I know that from what they have both told me, its just sex. If anyone is told up front about another woman that woman has a choice to be with Him or move on, she chose to be with Him and i was decieved. So who was manipulated?

She didn't manipulate you, he did. She didn't try and get rid of you. She obviously did what he wanted her to do, she submitted to him as his slave. She didn't deceive you, he did. Yet, you came here looking for ways to get rid of her and keep him. I'm glad you have decided to move on. You deserve to be with someone who doesn't deceive you or lie to you or feel the need to go behind your back about anything.

< Message edited by BeingChewsie -- 8/27/2007 7:41:18 PM >

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to mzchristina)

Post #: 42

RE: Words of wisdom needed - 8/27/2007 7:39:51 PM

e01n

Posts: 1472
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mzchristina: Is it common for a Master to have a sub as well as a slave? If so how can a sub become a slave to that Master? I want to make Him want me and only me. I know He loves me and such but i want Him to allow me to submit to Him. Any and all advice would be appreciated and needed.

The truest words of wisdom ever are Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm...

But on topic:
What is his idea of a slave? I know a good one as defined by Someone I trust: "A slave is a friend. He is a lover in what ever aspect(s) I choose. He is hard working, intelligent and honest. He is appropriate and caring. He knows when to add his two cents and knows when to defer. He loves being under the guidance of me; he is not afraid to be wrong and strives to do it right. His yearn is to be mine." And so, I can see myself as Her slave in those terms...

How is that different from "a sub" in his eyes? And knowing these things, which are you and which do you aspire to be? And are they mutually exclusive for him? If they are, then being both is out of the question...

Lots of stuff to sort out, luv...

(in reply to mzchristina)

Post #: 43

RE: Words of wisdom needed - 8/27/2007 9:49:08 PM

Perplex

Posts: 110
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

I tend to actually be in Simplymichael's first post's camp, though my way of saying it would be a lot more like a hallmark card and less like a prison rape.

There are people who will take every advantage of as many people who will allow it as possible. They can be (and ussually are if they are good at it) charming and loving, and maybe even "good" way down deep, but

this is a big but, so pay attention...

love and the lifestyle (in all its interesting mutations) isn't about who somebody might be someday, it is about who you are and who they are. If you want to be the one and only and they can't or won't do that, then you need decide if you are getting enough to hang around, if not then there are a thousand good men for every fool out there and you can find one of those good men before this fool turns your grief into bitterness.

understand you will not miss the man, you will miss the life you thought you would have because of the man. His smell will be out of your nose in an hour, the echo of his voice in a day, the memory of the sight of him in a week...thoguh you may still cry for a month, the tears will be for what you thought would be...not for the man.

I wish you hope.

(in reply to e01n)

Post #: 44

RE: Words of wisdom needed - 8/28/2007 4:29:44 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

understand you will not miss the man, you will miss the life you thought you would have because of the man. His smell will be out of your nose in an hour, the echo of his voice in a day, the memory of the sight of him in a week...thoguh you may still cry for a month, the tears will be for what you thought would be...not for the man.

I like it!

(in reply to Perplex)

Post #: 45

RE: Words of wisdom needed - 9/10/2007 10:16:07 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Everyone's definition of sub or slave is different. Ask him what his definitions are, compare them to your own, the ask what he wants and do that. If he doesn't want what you want, you're most likely not a match.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to mzchristina)

Post #: 46

RE: Words of wisdom needed - 9/10/2007 2:19:18 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mzchristina

Thank you A/all for your advice and wisdom. It has made me decide i do not want to be with Him and move on and grow into a beautiful butterfly. This is going to be a start of a new beginning for me. I will seek someone that wants to be with me and help me evolve into something i want/need to become.

Thank you again,
christina

Good for you christina. Maybe you can find someone local this time. You might want to put a little more in your profile. Good luck.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to mzchristina)

Post #: 47

RE: Words of wisdom needed - 9/10/2007 2:25:05 PM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mzchristina

Is it common for a Master to have a sub as well as a slave?

It's sort of an odd thing, to say one is a "Master". What we mean by that is that this one either has or would like to have a slave. (Many also add that he must be qualified in different respects to possess a slave to meet the "Master" definition.)

But, point being, one isn't simply a "Master", but aa "Master to [a particular slave]". Such a Master can also have a sub, but he's a Dom to the sub, not a Master (though he's still a Master to the slave).

quote:

ORIGINAL: mzchristina
I want to make Him want me and only me.

Sort of an odd aspect of being a slave.. a slave isn't to make the Master do anything; he should be naturally inclined.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mzchristina
I know He loves me and such but i want Him to allow me to submit to Him.

If you're in a vanilla relationship with him, and he just isn't the Master sort, then, well, that part just might be incompatiable. Still, you can talk to him about D/s'ing for a while, see how that works out.

(in reply to mzchristina)

Post #: 48

RE: Words of wisdom needed - 9/10/2007 6:33:10 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Tell him you've also turned Poly and have decided you have other needs as well, that he just isn't satisfying, and that, although you somewhat regret it, you've decided you need to leave the relationship (and try to mean it). Then do it.

Just my two cents.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 49

RE: Words of wisdom needed - 9/11/2007 2:43:17 AM

Aswad

Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

So, there are now two stupid bitches fighting over one dumb fuck. You want to know how to kick the other stupid bitch out of bed so you can having the lying fuck all to yourself.

Have some self respect, the only other innocent party in this is the other woman, the only thing I would want to do if I were you is show up at his house holding her hands, both of you yell in unison "fuck off asshole" and turn and walk off into the sunset.

Quoted all of it because it bears repeating, given how common the scenario is, and how excellent that way to deal with it is. Not that men are any better, mind you, but I expect we will see a similarly brilliant reply the next time some man posts about such a thing, in stead of doing the usual testosterone thing. I bow to you.

Health,
al-Aswad.

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 50

RE: Words of wisdom needed - 9/11/2007 2:58:00 AM

Aswad

Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mzchristina

In reguards to me being cold and manipulative. I just dont get how you come to that conclusion.

That much is obvious. I'll try to spell it out for you...

You are trying to find a way to make your sweetheart dump the other girl.

Perhaps the excellent comments from SimplyMichael and BeingChewsie will make more sense now.

quote:

So who was manipulated?

The two of you.
There's a lesson in that.
Sorry it came in such a form.
Hope you both pass the exams.

And please consider the possibility that she's thinking pretty much exactly the same thing you are, from the other side of the table, while both of you should be dealing with the problem (him). Become friends. You have a lot in common, after all: you were both screwed over by the same guy, and are both subs. Then get even with him, together.

Riding into the sunset together while he's still gaping sounds good.

Health,
al-Aswad.

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

(in reply to mzchristina)

Post #: 51

RE: Words of wisdom needed - 9/11/2007 3:00:19 AM

Aswad

Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mzchristina

It has made me decide i do not want to be with Him and move on and grow into a beautiful butterfly. This is going to be a start of a new beginning for me. I will seek someone that wants to be with me and help me evolve into something i want/need to become.

This is possibly the best news I've read on this site so far.

Best wishes in your search.

Health,
al-Aswad.

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

(in reply to mzchristina)

Post #: 52

RE: Words of wisdom needed - 9/11/2007 3:34:51 AM

NakedGirlScout

Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline

I'm also wondering, why, if a person wants a secure, monogamous long term relationship with somebody, they choose to remain long distance with that person for year and years, and then are surprised when he finds someone else closer to home? Could it possibly be the case that the OP is also a married woman, or this man is married, to have remained at arms' length all these years?

I may get ranted at over it, but I'm pretty sure that long distance relationships were not meant to continue on indefinitely as that does not meet peoples' needs in general, they need a human to be there in person to remain satisfied.

That said, I'm not excusing the man's cheating. If he needed something or someone else he ought to have been open about it.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 53

RE: Words of wisdom needed - 9/11/2007 12:08:35 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

quote:

I am wanting to learn all i can about this lifestyle. I have learned quite a bit just by reading posts in the forums.

I want to make Him want me and only me. I know He loves me and such but i want Him to allow me to submit to Him. Any and all advice would be appreciated and needed.

Submission is not something that is allowed or taken but is a gift that you slowly give up when it has been earned thru his, Faith, respect, open communication, HONESTY and TRUST. He has not earned that to submit further to him and would be foolish on your part to give up more control over yourself because all it will lead to is more hurt and pain, quite simply put he is not the right person for you. Being a slave to someone does not buy love, a sub or slave is simply an activity that can add flavor to a relationship..

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 54

RE: Words of wisdom needed - 9/11/2007 1:46:26 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mzchristina

I am wanting to learn all i can about this lifestyle. I have learned quite a bit just by reading posts in the forums.

Is it common for a Master to have a sub as well as a slave? If so how can a sub become a slave to that Master? I want to make Him want me and only me. I know He loves me and such but i want Him to allow me to submit to Him. Any and all advice would be appreciated and needed.

~mzchristina~

"never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option" -Unknown

~FR~ I haven't read everyone elses posts yet....

OP, first thing and most important thing to learn is: There is nothing that is Common, Nothing that Everyone does, There are no set rules, time limits or expectations in this lifestyle.

Evrything and everyone makes up thier own rules that work for them.

The only expectations are those of common humanity. Treat those the way you wish to be treated. But again, like all of society, that in itself is not common, or a standard rule.

Use your own judgement, your own comnon sense and your gut feelings as to what works for you and what you want out of this lifestyle. No one can tell you that, only you can learn it for yourself!!!

Good luck, be smart, becareful and most of all have fun.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to mzchristina)

Post #: 55

RE: Words of wisdom needed - 9/11/2007 2:27:43 PM

abda

Posts: 48
Joined: 6/10/2007
Status: offline

In my opinion, one can start as submissive and grow into a slave. If You don't desire to be a slave then my advice is not become just because you are trying to "keep" him from being with the other girl. Because you will be unhappy trying to be something that you are not.
As for making him want you. Well either he will or he will not...it's as simple as that.

(in reply to mzchristina)

Post #: 56

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