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RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/27/2007 4:29:38 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		It's you. You really think a woman who hasn't so much as laid eyes on you, yet alone has had a relationship of sufficient length to determine anything about your basic character, is going to say you can do anything to her at all?

Not to mention that people have limits they can't change. I'm  never going to agree to inverted suspension. I'm hypertensive and stuff like that gives me vertigo. How is a physical, or mental condition, topping from the bottom?

Beyond that, there are things he can do to me now because I've learned over four years to trust him sufficiently. But he couldn't do them on day one, or even year one.

Trust isn't all or nothing. You earn a little more every time you act responsibly and live up to your word. She sees you during stressful times and decides whether or not your response to stress is something she can handle or not. But your assumption that anyone who says she's submissive will tolerate anything is not bright. A sub setting limits for casual play is smart.

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/27/2007 4:51:50 PM   
nmjardine


Posts: 116
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

One creates a submissive/slave out of someone by slowly blowing on the embers and nurturing that flame until it bursts into an inferno. You can't order up a real submissive, they blossom under the care and nurturing of someone who cares for them, who shows up for them, who remembers the little things and who provides a safe place for that submission to grow.


Damn. Where can I find a Dom like you?

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/27/2007 4:58:19 PM   
Aine


Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline 		There is no wrong, there is no right.

You two are not compatible, and you were rude to try to pick her apart like that because it doesn't agree with how you do things.

Don't be surprised when you get rude back.


_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/27/2007 5:23:58 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietDomuk

Clarify a few points....
Correct sub does not mean she, but in this case it just happened to be hence my use of the word

No that is the entire convo no editing was done.....

What she said in her profile - and this IS altered in wording but NOT in spirit to preserve her anonymity is
"I have specific likes in punishment"
Note punishment was her word not mine - I have an entirely diffent definition of punishment and it has no connection with the word "like" other that hurts like


So?

For me, punishment isn't play but how does that excuse your rudeness? You still messaged her with a rude comment that didn't need to be made. If you wanted to accomplish something you could have tried to teach by respectfully asking her what she meant by punishment and respectfully explaining what your view on punishment is.

But you have to get it through your head that she isn't yours so she doesn't have to accept your defination. That doesn't make her any less real and you thinking that you can just decide what is topping from the bottom and who is real or fake just makes you look really bad.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to QuietDomuk)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/27/2007 5:44:29 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietDomuk

In a recent (and very brief) exchange of messages with a sub who will remain nameless.... I mailed her because her profile was I will allow this but not that some of that and all of that..... the conversation went like....


Damn adults. How dare she write into her profile exactly the sort of partnership she seeks! I mean, where does she get off posting a profile that doesn't meet your approval. The horror of it all.

quote:

Dom - "lol.... talk about topping from the bottom!"


Talk about assuming a relationship where none exists! As if she is bottoming to you and you have any sort of rights over her at all. Buy a vowel.

quote:

Dom - "Then you have never submitted..... merely played
what does the word "submit" mean?    in a ssc scene, hard limits are agreed as is a safe word, then she TRUSTS me with her body, that is what submission means, what you are talking about is bottoming......"


Who in the hell are you? You don't know her. You don't know what she has done or not done. You don't know her motivations, intents or purpose. You're a real piece of work.

quote:

Sub - "Not interested in your thoughts on what is and what is not-I allow myself to   be punished, call it what you will"


Unknown sub person: If you actually are reading this.. if this 'dom' actually sent you this thread and didn't wuss out on his word, let me give you some applause now and say how sorry I am that you were exposed to this.. um, guy. 

quote:

At which point I sighed bemoaned the state of subs in this country and looked to see if I could filter my search for a different planet...


Try Neptune. Since you'll be the only person the planet, you'll get to make all the rules for it.

quote:

Now is it me or is it her..... your  comments please
I will email her the url of this thread and she can read what YOU say
Is it me or is it her......


It's you, dude. It's just so fucking you and you're completely clueless.

Celeste

edited to repair quoting and a typo



< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 8/27/2007 5:50:29 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to QuietDomuk)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/27/2007 5:46:41 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

  her profile was I will allow this but not that some of that and all of that.....  

As she is not submissive to you, her profile belongs to her.  You may put whatever you want in your own profile and let others write what they wish in their's.

quote:

   "Then you have never submitted..... merely played

The fact is, she has never submitted to you.  Your comment has no basis in fact.
Maybe she has, maybe she hasn't.....but you have no right to tell her what her reality is.
quote:

At which point I sighed bemoaned the state of subs in this country and looked to see if I could filter my search for a different planet...  

There's a fantastical planet called Gor, it's that a-way>>>>>>>

< Message edited by catize -- 8/27/2007 5:50:44 PM >

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to QuietDomuk)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/27/2007 5:47:33 PM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		Diff folks, diff strokes.

The OP just sounds like trolling to me. What does it matter? Neither one of  you is right or wrong. You contacted her (in an antagonizing way at that), she responded. It's as simple as recognizing that you're just not compatible and moving on.

Case closed. There's a bridge with water under it for ya, dude, I think you might find it cozy there.


_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to QuietDomuk)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/27/2007 5:48:10 PM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		Amen to that!  I really hope this sub-chick-in-question gets a glimpse of this thread.  But I have a feeling that the dom-type-in-question (and I use that term very loosely) isn't the type to admit he's wrong. Or apologize. Or learn.  10 bucks says he's already written us off as 'not-true-lifestyle-peeples' and is off harassing some other sub.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietDomuk

In a recent (and very brief) exchange of messages with a sub who will remain nameless.... I mailed her because her profile was I will allow this but not that some of that and all of that..... the conversation went like....


Damn adults. How dare she write into her profile exactly the sort of partnership she seeks! I mean, where does she get off posting a profile that doesn't meet your approval. The horror of it all.

quote:

Dom - "lol.... talk about topping from the bottom!"


Talk about assuming a relationship where none exists! As if she is bottoming to you and you have any sort of rights over her at all. Buy a vowel.

quote:

Dom - "Then you have never submitted..... merely played
what does the word "submit" mean?    in a ssc scene, hard limits are agreed as is a safe word, then she TRUSTS me with her body, that is what submission means, what you are talking about is bottoming......"


Who in the hell are you? You don't know her. You don't know what she has done or not done. You don't know her motivations, intents or purpose. You're a real piece of work.

quote:

Sub - "Not interested in your thoughts on what is and what is not-I allow myself to   be punished, call it what you will"


Unknown sub person: If you actually are reading this.. if this 'dom' actually sent you this thread and didn't wuss out on his word, let me give you some applause now and say how sorry I am that you were exposed to this.. um, guy. 

quote:

At which point I sighed bemoaned the state of subs in this country and looked to see if I could filter my search for a different planet...


Try Neptune. Since you'll be the only on the planet, you'll get to make all the rules for it.

quote:

Now is it me or is it her..... your  comments please
I will email her the url of this thread and she can read what YOU say
Is it me or is it her......


It's you, dude. It's just so fucking you and you're completely clueless.

Celeste

edited to repair quoting

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/27/2007 5:49:57 PM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		lol GOR.  Land of true-domliest-doms and female screen names.

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/27/2007 6:48:38 PM   
MisterPervert


Posts: 39
Joined: 5/17/2005
From: Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietDomuk

Dom - "Then you have never submitted..... merely played



What's wrong with playing? Adults who are afraid of playing games are either chronically insecure or fakes - possibly both. I'm not necessarily pointing the finger at a True Dom™ like you, but...

_____________________________

Mister Pervert - The Pervert Messiah

"He's NOT the Messiah! He's a very naughty boy!"

"Jesus died because he forgot his safeword."

http://misterpevert.blogspot.com

(in reply to QuietDomuk)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/27/2007 7:50:17 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		To the OP..You may want to work on your communication skills..they are sadly lacking...Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to MisterPervert)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/27/2007 8:05:33 PM   
Smythe


Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I don't think you are quiet enough Sir, may I suggest a ball gag and a restraining order?

Anyone who has to negotiate the level of submission and thinks they can order a level 12 submissive off the menu must not have any real experience. So funny that with all the talk of mentoring and training there are morons out there who STILL then go from that to assuming that people just announce how submissive they will be. Where is the dominance? Where is the control? Where the hell is the fucking skill as a dominant?

I mean any dipshit can shout orders, hell a tape recorder can do it. Being dominant isn't about shouting orders, it isn't even about control in some sense. Being dominant is about being someone who inspires confidence and security, not with talk but by day in and day out showing that they know what they hell they are doing.

I listen to women talk about being bottoms and or slaves and that banter just flows in one ear and out the other. I know that the "bottom" under my care might become someone who others would see an amazingly devoted and obedient slave and the "slave" might be someone who I would reject as too much work and without much to offer.

One creates a submissive/slave out of someone by slowly blowing on the embers and nurturing that flame until it bursts into an inferno. You can't order up a real submissive, they blossom under the care and nurturing of someone who cares for them, who shows up for them, who remembers the little things and who provides a safe place for that submission to grow.

Anyway, the sort of idiocy expressed in the op just drives me fucking nuts.



If we were using ink, Michael, I would say that you are wasting it.
If we were talking I would say save your breath.
You are talking about nurturing a real life relationship. The OP is talking about some kind of theoretical internet chat crap.
Great post though.
Smythe



_____________________________

Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/27/2007 8:48:56 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietDomuk

In a recent (and very brief) exchange of messages with a sub who will remain nameless.... I mailed her because her profile was I will allow this but not that some of that and all of that..... the conversation went like....

Dom - "lol.... talk about topping from the bottom!"

Sub - "bottoms always top"

Dom - "Yes they do but only if they are under a top not a Dom"

Sub - "Unless the sub is a complete idiot or a brainwashed person-she allows things to be done as opposed to letting people have carte blanche"

Dom - "Then you have never submitted..... merely played
what does the word "submit" mean?    in a ssc scene, hard limits are agreed as is a safe word, then she TRUSTS me with her body, that is what submission means, what you are talking about is bottoming......"

Sub - "Not interested in your thoughts on what is and what is not-I allow myself to   be punished, call it what you will"

At which point I sighed bemoaned the state of subs in this country and looked to see if I could filter my search for a different planet...

Now is it me or is it her..... your  comments please
I will email her the url of this thread and she can read what YOU say
Is it me or is it her......


It's all you, bubba.  Did your mama fail to teach you manners?  If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything.  You're not excluded because you've hung out the dom shingle.  (Watch it, ladies, the paint is still wet).

Anyone has the right to say whatever they like on their profile, as long as it conforms to the TOS.  That doesn't mean you have the right to condemn someone and make judgments about them based on their profile. 

If it doesn't sound like someone that fits the type person you're looking for, keep looking!

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to QuietDomuk)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/27/2007 8:53:55 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		i just do not like redefining something that is pretty simple you are who you are and a box of cracker jacks

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/28/2007 12:30:25 AM   
taintedgypsy


Posts: 228
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline 		My two cents worth...

It is all subjective, one's definition of submissive or Dominant is dependant on their perspective and their own life experiences.

Some would say I am very submissive, others question whether I am even a bottom lol. I identify as a submissive and if I am not your cup of tea than I wish you luck and I will keep seeking. I will not contact a Dom unless his profile reflects what I want in a Dom, if his profile is completely off the planet by my definition, I will shake my head, smile and  move on. I do not think that you or her are wrong in your definitions of what you seek, believe or define as they work for you.

However I do feel you were wrong in judging someone else, in contacting someone with the negative motives of pointing out how wrong they were? Your opinion, my opinion and everyone's opinion is only valid to its holder unless it is asked for by someone else and then no matter what value you give it, once you "give it" to someone it is open for judgement and re-evaluation my the individual recieving it. Opinions are dangerous and it is best to test the water before throwing one in ... you may not like what it brings back!

Just my thoughts and please be kind it was not meant to upset anyone, I hope I do not regret throwing it out there, lol. 

_____________________________

..."Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... It is about learning to dance in the rain."

Equal Opportunity Slut (Yeah ... best of both worlds lol)

warm smiles to all

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/28/2007 1:50:39 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietDomuk

 I mailed her because her profile was I will allow this but not that some of that and all of that...



You emailed her BECAUSE her profile didn't agree with your way of thinking.  She did not make first contact with YOU.  You emailed her in order to have a confrontation.... and you got one.   That you wish to continue the confrontation with this innocent (she didn't email you first) submissive tells me you may want to take up a more physically demanding hobby to work out whatever issues you are dealing with.  Sounds to me like a person who would rather be right than happy. 

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to QuietDomuk)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/28/2007 5:02:37 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Even in punishment, there are limits. The Man couldn't decide to use inverted suspension as a punishment because I wouldn't consent to it. Not to mention that he isn't the type to try to damage me for weeks just to prove he is the dom.

Hard limits apply for everything.

If you've agreed to a monogamous relationship, you don't get the right to bring home another girl and say her punishment is to have sex with both of you. Because if you've agreed to monogamy, that gets you neither girl by the time the argument ends and she's called the cops to get out safely.

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/28/2007 5:45:39 AM   
Perplex


Posts: 110
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Damn adults. How dare she write into her profile exactly the sort of partnership she seeks! I mean, where does she get off posting a profile that doesn't meet your approval. The horror of it all.

Buy a vowel.



gawd I love smartass women, doll I'd marry you, we'd both be dead within 3.2 hours but it'd be a hell of a ride.

but anyway,

to me...*only to me, not a suggestion anyone anywhere on the planet should feel this way* submission/dominance are tools to open up the secret places (ussually in the sub; though it can go both ways) where the everyday ego (thank your daddy-freud) can't handle the truth, in a way that can be expressed (ussually in sexuality though I've seen it done with the arts as well).

I've seen dom's who think my way or the highway and I've seen subs who think submission is not spending all of this weeks clothing allowance is submission but reguardless is the last lythmus test for any relationship, --whether with a dog, sub, your mother, my mother or the president, is "does it work?"

clearly the OP and the sub in question where not ever going to be on the same page, so it's highly doubtful they would eb sharing breakfast on a veranda someday with shy smiles at each other.

guys (this is the dom's not that domme's so Bitatrouble don't get your panties into a twist) (well you can if you want but we'd like video) it's like peepee size.  yeah size does matter, but there are guys  out there pleasing every woman they ever met with a three inch wiener they have to use tweezers to pee through and there are guys with hopilongs that they could pole vault with who wouldn't know how to please a woman with an instruction manual or air traffic controller "bringing them in". 

if a sub doesn't respond to your particular brand of style, then move along, next customer you're holding up the line, you can't force people to do something the way you like it, cuz you like it...and expect the relationship to last very long that's why god made restraining orders...so if you can't handle rejection then mebbe get out of the game or vanilla up your style enough to be more open to more free willed subs, if you fidn the right one who can be trained your way you will..and if not..well remember jergens is your friend still and have a good night. 

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/28/2007 8:19:54 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		It's you.
 
Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to QuietDomuk)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: A Very Quirky Definition of Submission - 8/28/2007 10:00:51 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I disagree.  I don't think she is saying that one would have to be brainwashed to let someone do what they will.  She mentioned that a BOTTOM always tops.  In other words they have the right to say what will and wont happen.  He said, not if they are under a dom.  Excuse me.. who cares what he calls himself.  As far as play goes, or DS, unless she sees him as her dom that she will submit to, he is simply a top to her.
And as such, she would call the shots.
He is in error.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Sub - "Unless the sub is a complete idiot or a brainwashed person-she allows things to be done as opposed to letting people have carte blanche"

I don't personally allow, i consent to submit to His will.  He has carte blanche. I guess this makes me a complete idiot or brain washed in her mind.
 
Sub - "Not interested in your thoughts on what is and what is not-I allow myself to   be punished, call it what you will"

If only i could not allow punishment lol.
 
I personally think it is her from the snippet of convo you have shown. She seems to be clinging on to not submitting fully, wanting to keep hold of some control.

Edited to add - have i misread this judging by other replies


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 40
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