Watching others play- who do you fixate on?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Watching others play- who do you fixate on?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Watching others play- who do you fixate on?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 6:33:48 AM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

Musing...

i've perved quite a few D/s scenes, both in person and virtually, of every orientation... MaleDom, FemDom, M/m, F/f, etc... And it occured to me that no matter the genders of the people involved, my "attachment", so to speak, is always with the bottom.

As a result, i've noticed that even though i'm a male sub. the majority of my collection of adult video education features female submissives, because said educational videos always focus more on the submissive, with the Dominant sometimes not even on camera, whereas most Femdom/malesub work tends to focus on the Domme, with the bottom often little more than a prop.

Watching people play at dungeons and play parties, mentally, i operate the same way, paying very little attention to the Dominant, but often emphasizing very strongly with the submissive.

So, i was curious if other people work the same way...
Do you always connect with your peer, so to speak, or with those who would compliment your orientation?
Do you relate on gender lines?
Or does it depend on who is more expressive?
Do you feel nothing at all?

...dave

Post #: 1

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 7:13:23 AM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline

When I'm watching others play I focus on the scene as a whole, pretty much equally watching top and bottom as well as the action going on and picking up nuances throughout.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 2

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 7:16:20 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

Musing...

i've perved quite a few D/s scenes, both in person and virtually, of every orientation... MaleDom, FemDom, M/m, F/f, etc... And it occured to me that no matter the genders of the people involved, my "attachment", so to speak, is always with the bottom.

As a result, i've noticed that even though i'm a male sub. the majority of my collection of adult video education features female submissives, because said educational videos always focus more on the submissive, with the Dominant sometimes not even on camera, whereas most Femdom/malesub work tends to focus on the Domme, with the bottom often little more than a prop.

Watching people play at dungeons and play parties, mentally, i operate the same way, paying very little attention to the Dominant, but often emphasizing very strongly with the submissive.

So, i was curious if other people work the same way...
Do you always connect with your peer, so to speak, or with those who would compliment your orientation?
Do you relate on gender lines?
Or does it depend on who is more expressive?
Do you feel nothing at all?

...dave

At a party if something is going to grab my attention, its likely a more sexual scene where the two people seem connected to each other. A scene where someone is just flogging a back and thats about it is just kind of boring to me. And generally I tend to be more interested in a male dom/fem sub scene to watch, although there are some exceptions - but when I do watch I definitely sympathize more in the place of the submissive similar to you.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 3

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 7:25:18 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I tend to agree with Fleurs- it's rare a scene actually catches my attention enough to focus on it much. If it does it's because it involves a kink I find intriguing, either persoanally or because I want to learn more about it, and/or because the people involved have a great energy coming from them and I want to bask in it. When that happens, it tends not to matter who or what position (considering the number of multiple person scenes I observe, that would often be impractical).

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Post #: 4

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 11:38:42 AM

DarkDaddyZ

Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I tend to agree with Fleurs- it's rare a scene actually catches my attention enough to focus on it much. If it does it's because it involves a kink I find intriguing, either persoanally or because I want to learn more about it, and/or because the people involved have a great energy coming from them and I want to bask in it. When that happens, it tends not to matter who or what position (considering the number of multiple person scenes I observe, that would often be impractical).

I agree, rarely do I get captivated by a scene but when I do it's more than just watching the scene it's the energy I feel around it and those in it.

_____________________________

"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 5

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 2:02:16 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I am going to toss mine in with, the energy between the people involved also.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DarkDaddyZ)

Post #: 6

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 2:05:55 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Watching people scene sort of bores me. I like toys...so if I do watch someone play it is because I am
watching the way the flogger is yielded. The way they spank...so on and so forth.
I like techniue and learning. You can learn anything from anyone even if it is bad. It teaches you not to do
things the way you just viewed them.

I've seen some excellent scenes and I've seen scenes that end up with someone in the hospital.

No gender lines here for me.

(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 7

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 2:19:50 PM

KiandPhoenix

Posts: 205
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline

I watch the dom/me. I am watching for style and technique, Seeing what toys he uses in what order and how he or she uses them. In short I learn all I can and get ideas. I watch the reaction of the sub a little, but I know each sub is different, so the effect is less important that the cause to me.
~Ki

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 8

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 2:25:50 PM

GhitaAmati

Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline

I just asked Sir and he says he always watches the Dom/me to get ideas......

I think I generally watch the sub, but also a good mixture of both.....I tend to not fixate on one specific scene or person in a scene, most of our play parties I wander around and try to look at everything, if something catches my eye, its normally a play style or toy that Ive either never seen before or something Ive always been curious about.

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to KiandPhoenix)

Post #: 9

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 2:27:02 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

I tend to look at whoever owns a pussy.

(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 10

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 2:40:28 PM

ObedientYYC

Posts: 80
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline

I once saw a sub female having her first ever flogging... I was captivated by the reactions in her face and eyes. I guess to me, the mind is where its at!

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 11

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 2:44:08 PM

MsBearlee

Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

...the majority of my collection of adult video education features female submissives, because said educational videos always focus more on the submissive, with the Dominant sometimes not even on camera, whereas most Femdom/malesub work tends to focus on the Domme, with the bottom often little more than a prop.

Yeah, I'm with the watchers of 'high energy'...more than anything else.

I had some thoughts regarding the part of the OPs post;

Wouldn't what you found be true be because 'most' pervs (sadly) are men (at least that's to whom such videos are aimed)...so it would seem that if they're interested in selling to men, then the submissive on camera is gonna be female and if it's about FemDoms...that's who will be the main star. Always the female, in other words.

Somehow I doubt such vids are really educational, but more pornographic...though understand that may not necessairly be a bad thing!

But I could be wrong,
B

edited to add:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
I tend to look at whoever owns a pussy. [/quote

Yeah, like THAT! LOL

< Message edited by MsBearlee -- 8/28/2007 2:45:43 PM >

_____________________________

A must read for submissives! (click here)

This one, as well!

(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 12

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 3:18:24 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

I don't recall ever fixating on any public scenes, except for the ones I participated in. What catches my attention varies. Sometimes it is a certain technique, energy, toy, hypnotically jiggling flesh...... Defnitely isn't gender nor orientation specific.

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 8/28/2007 3:24:23 PM >

(in reply to MsBearlee)

Post #: 13

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 3:21:30 PM

e01n

Posts: 1472
Status: offline

Um, generally the novel in my back pocket... I find myself very bored at play parties...

It depends - I try to keep an eye on not just the players but also the "audience" as well. I'm gaging reactions on multiple levels. If I were pressed, I'd say it was the "top" - but not really.

It's the hazards of having Total Store Vision...

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 14

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 3:31:32 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I'd have to say I enjoy watching the connection between the two (or more) involved. If I am drawn more to one than the other, it is most definitely the top. The impliments they use, how their style varies from Mine, and the intensity with which their motions are made. Though I readily admit that I don't do much watching, those times that I do, I am more intregued by who I would consider My peer. The gender of the Top or bottom means little.

(in reply to e01n)

Post #: 15

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 3:57:24 PM

classykindasassy

Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline

The chemistry between the sceners is the most compelling thing to me.

_____________________________

"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 16

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 4:09:03 PM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline

I have been once to a dungeon when there were a lot of people playing. The scene with a woman getting very elaborate needle work done by a woman and man was beyond fascinating, I watched all three, but mostly focused on the bottom and her reactions.

Later on that evening a dom was flogging, paddling, and caning a submissive. I watched the dom with lots of interest and even commented to my Sir that it was great to get to see what the other side does. I know what it feels to have a cane applied to my ass, but watching how focused and what a lot of work is involved for the top was really cool.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 17

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 4:23:25 PM

SubJordanTyler

Posts: 268
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

I do agree that a great scene is when the energy between the top and the bottom is strong. I tend to watch the sub a little more, and that's probably because I am a sub. I like to see how they react to what is being done to them, especially when it's something I particularly love being done to me. I like to see if they are enjoying it and to what degree. If they love it as much as I do, I feel more of a connection to the sub and the scene itself.

(in reply to Littlepita)

Post #: 18

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 4:33:40 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

If I am watching my Lord and Alandra, I watch them both depending on what he is doing. If he is caning her, then my focus is more on her. It is hard to explain, but when caning her the focus is just on her and the cane. It is a lot of fun to watch her get caned.

When watching him play others, the focus is mostly on him because I love the way he moves and his intensity.

With other people it really depends on what is going on and the energy within the scene. In my local community there is a guy who is phenomenal with a single tail and the focus of the play is all on him. Watching him is like watching a dance; it is so fluid and sensual. I find it difficult to watch others with a single tail because he is just so damn good with it.

In general, there are not many people that I enjoy watching them play. So many just seem to lack the primal energy that I love to see. Not to mention that when we go out, I don't get much time to watch others; I am generally being played or assisting him when he plays others.

Knight's Kyra

*edited to add, there is a leatherman in my Lord's community that I would watch tie up a boy any day *eg* He is hawt!!!!

< Message edited by kyraofMists -- 8/28/2007 4:34:53 PM >

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 19

RE: Watching others play- who do you fixate on? - 8/28/2007 4:50:57 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

I am watching what is going on in the Scen and trying to take in and learn more not watching just one or the other but watching it all :)

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Watching others play- who do you fixate on?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109