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undergroundsea -> RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? (9/2/2007 8:55:37 AM)
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Like the OP, I see professional domination to be different from financial domination. I see professional domination as generally positive whereas I have mixed feelings about financial domination. By a professional domme whom I see positively I mean one who is serious about the business and whose practice is consistent with responsibility and ethics. By financial domination I mean interactions which are not presented as professional domination but a material exchange is compulsory for these interactions to occur.
There are some people who engage in financial domination as a mutual fetish, which is fair enough. I have a friend for whom I have tremendous regard who was a professional domme and now engages in financial domination. I am convinced her situation is one of mutual want and she holds fondness and compassion for the sub.
Still, I am cynical about how money affects people in general. My instincts and observations say that in most cases financial dommes have entered the practice not to do so with those who enjoy the kink but to make money where exists a high demand for dommes regardless of whether the sub enjoys it as a kink. In other words, I believe in many cases it is presented as a fetish but is done as a payment for attention in a high-demand situation, and the attempt to cover up the intention affects how I feel about it. I am more impressed when one is open about the intention when it is done as a transaction.
The want for financial domination can come from various motivations. To me, general compassion and kindness is a trait I appreciate in a partner and I feel exploitation is inconsistent with general compassion. By exploitation, I mean one who holds a disregard for the sub and is focused on getting the money. Indeed there are persons who are in financial domination to exploit. For example, I see some financial dommes who engage in forced intoxication or seek lonely or otherwise socially compromised persons, which I see to be towards exploitation. I cannot know for any given financial domme how much of her motivations have genuine roots and how much not, which leaves me cautious.
Perhaps one can exploit in this context and be genuine with those with whom they have relationships. And the exploitation may come because it is requested towards emotional SM. However, I cannot know how temporary or not the ability to exploit is and, all other things equal and not knowing more, I can more easily trust one who does not exploit even a stranger.
So one of my reservations about financial domination comes from questions of trust and compatibility of general social philosophies. This reservation has less to do with the practice and more with the uncertainty about motivations behind the practice. The other reservation comes from my sense of self. I approach D/s relationships and interactions much like I do general social relationships and interactions. I would feel about paying for attention much like I would if someone said I had to pay to socialize or be friends with that person. I find this idea a turn off for what it suggests about the value of my time and company.
My perspective is subjective, incomplete, and fluid. How I feel about financial domination has changed as I have come to know more about it and there are several matters I have not fully resolved.
I do not think there is a need to curb financial domination--I think it serves a purpose. Like professional domination, it enables some people to experience what they wish to experience while allowing a means for income for some. And I think it helps the ratio issues in femdom both in the short term and the long term.
Cheers,
Sea
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