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Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 6:51:35 PM   
SirDraco7


Posts: 108
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline 		Seeing that everyone is unique, finding total compatibility is something that might never happen.
When I say total compatibility I mean mostly in a vanilla sense, having all the same likes interests and hobbies.
I also know that compatibility matters to everyone in some part.

My question is do you seek or desire someone who is as close to you in interests as you are able to find?
if you seek suck do you fear that it ever might become too much?

If you are in a couple already, do you ever wish you were more alike?  Ever wish you were less alike?

In anyone's opinion is total compatibility ideal should such ever be found?

I'm curious and interested on hearing peoples thoughts and experiences about this.  thank you.  :)
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RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 6:58:58 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I would not be able to handle the boredom that would come from total compatibility.  I want a partner who can share new things with me, I want to develop new interests and hopefully he does too.  And we don't have to do everything together, that would drive me nuts.   So, I would like to have some shared interests, but not all shared interests. 

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RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 7:03:26 PM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		I for one don't look for 'total compatibility' because I don't think it exists in the beginning, when you first meet someone.  Some couples are married for 60 years and still have a few things they're incompatible on!

My view of total compatibility is something that happens after years of being together.  Your paths of development have been converged for so long that you've influenced and shaped one another, and what started out as one apple dating one orange has turned into two weird-hybrid-fruit thingies who might not be the exact same shape, size, or shade of color, but are so much closer than they were when they met.

As far as my experience goes...I've been in love with four men.  They were all alpha males who were intelligent, witty, charming and passionate.  Aside from that, they were all unique individuals, and I had certain compatibilities with some that weren't there with others.  But I loved all of them, and at the stage of life I was in when I met them, they were totally perfect for me. I have a biiiiiiiiiiiiiig long list of preferences, but my list of absolute needs is much shorter.


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RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 7:07:12 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Personally, I prefer someone who is complementary rather than someone who shares all the same interests I do. 

Compatibility is not high on my list of requirements.  I prefer a person that possess certain character strengths that I admire.  Just because someone else likes the same things I do that does not make them a good person.  I look for someone that I consider to be a good person first.

Or at least that is what I did and I hit the jackpot as far as I am concerned.

Knight's Kyra

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RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 7:08:08 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		My idea of compatibility has little to do with "common interests." In fact some of the most substantial relationships I have ever been a part of have been relationships where there were cultural differences as well as, religious, political etc...The important thing was being able to convey those differences into the sharing of ideas and not necessarily arguments...The idea of learning about our differences can really be a tremendous asset...Learn things about other's cultures, cuisine and interests, likes and dislikes etc.  Thank God they all loved anal.

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RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 7:09:52 PM   
mmsprecious


Posts: 84
Joined: 12/6/2006
Status: offline 		my Master and i joke that we we're twins! we think alike and enjoy a lot of the same things..but...
we both love football but like different teams
we both love rock but have different favorite bands
we like a lot of the same movies but enjoy sharing ones that the other hasn't seen yet
we are both EMT's but ride for different towns

we share a lot of the same interests but have enough differences to make life interesting. i think that is "total" compatibility

but that's just me :)
Master Mike's precious

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RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 7:09:54 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Total compatibility to me doesn't mean we only like the same things, but that we see the world from the same viewpoint. But certainly I wouldn't be interested in someone with whom I share nothing.

Things I don't have any interest in myself become interesting to me because of his interests and that he can explain them to me in a way that piques my interests.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
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RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 7:10:17 PM   
Aine


Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline 		Amen, total compatibility would suck arse.

JL and I are amazingly compatible, but we have a lot of different interests as well, which we share with each other, and sometimes do not, if the other isn't interested.




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RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 7:20:42 PM   
HisSongstress


Posts: 103
Joined: 3/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
I prefer a person that possess certain character strengths that I admire.  Just because someone else likes the same things I do that does not make them a good person.  I look for someone that I consider to be a good person first.

Yes, I think that this is vital........

I liked these definitions of compatibility:

  • a feeling of sympathetic understanding
  • capability of existing or performing in harmonious or congenial combination
    wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

    best!

    song

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    • Profile   Post #: 9
    RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 7:44:07 PM   
    SirDraco7


    Posts: 108
    Joined: 8/7/2006
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Celeste43

    Total compatibility to me doesn't mean we only like the same things, but that we see the world from the same viewpoint.


    Well said.  I like that thought there.  :)

    (in reply to Celeste43)
    Profile   Post #: 10
    RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 7:52:07 PM   
    ChainsandFreedom


    Posts: 222
    Joined: 6/20/2007
    Status: offline     		Hi Sir Draco,

    Long time no see! Great question...

    Total compatibility can mean different things to different people. I see it like magnets: if you have opposite poles near each other, it attracts and sticks together; Like-poles repel. It is possible to have the same hobbies, tastes, and dislikes as long as there is always something new to explore with each other. The great thing about my sub/husband is that we share so much of the same things together that involve journeying into new territory. Besides the fact that the man loves to TALK, we never run out of things to talk about.

    Being exactly the same together and predictable can lead to less passion. If I wanted someone exactly like me, I would have cloned another Giselle. Thank goodness it's not that easy to do yet...

    -Madame Giselle, the better half aka
    The One who can spell

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    Profile   Post #: 11
    RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 8:03:23 PM   
    beargonewild


    Posts: 22716
    Joined: 5/7/2007
    Status: offline     		In a general sense of compatibility, I would have to say yes. I do seek one who has many compatibilities simular to mine yet not completely. Having shared interests is part of what will help keep my relationship going fairly smoothly. I would want us both to have our own differences and separate interests. This is what will make us unique and not a cookie cutter cutout. from these separate interests, we can learn from one another and the relationship continues growing and evolving.
       When I think of total compatibility, I related it to perfection. Since perfection is impossible, therefore so is total compatibility.


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    Profile   Post #: 12
    RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 8:05:56 PM   
    ownedgirlie


    Posts: 9184
    Joined: 2/5/2006
    Status: offline     		I didn't seek total compatibility.  I was fortunate enough to be spotted by someone with whom I share incredible chemistry, and whose power reeled me right in.  We have some of the same interests and beliefs, and some that are completely different.  That makes for some unique conversations, especially when he's on a roll about something he can't stand, which I don't relate to at all.  He goes on and on and I look on and just smile and laugh happily because he's so damn adorable when he gets animated like that :)

    (in reply to SirDraco7)
    Profile   Post #: 13
    RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 8:17:46 PM   
    devotedsylph


    Posts: 56
    Joined: 8/8/2007
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: KatyLied

    I would not be able to handle the boredom that would come from total compatibility.  I want a partner who can share new things with me, I want to develop new interests and hopefully he does too.  And we don't have to do everything together, that would drive me nuts.   So, I would like to have some shared interests, but not all shared interests. 


    I would have to disagree that 'total compatibility' equates to boredom and stagnation.  Sharing the same taste in music doesn't necessarily mean that you've heard the exact same bands, or if you like the same genre of books it doesn't mean you like the same author.  There is plenty of space for development within shared interests.

    (in reply to KatyLied)
    Profile   Post #: 14
    RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 8:23:10 PM   
    marieToo


    Posts: 3595
    Joined: 5/21/2006
    From: Jersey
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: SirDraco7

    Seeing that everyone is unique, finding total compatibility is something that might never happen.
    When I say total compatibility I mean mostly in a vanilla sense, having all the same likes interests and hobbies.
    I also know that compatibility matters to everyone in some part.

    My question is do you seek or desire someone who is as close to you in interests as you are able to find?
    if you seek suck do you fear that it ever might become too much?

    If you are in a couple already, do you ever wish you were more alike?  Ever wish you were less alike?

    In anyone's opinion is total compatibility ideal should such ever be found?

    I'm curious and interested on hearing peoples thoughts and experiences about this.  thank you.  :)



    I do not seek compatibility as it's commonly referred to.  I don't need to have the same interests goals and things of that nature.

    The most important thing to me is finding someone who 'gets' me bdsm-wise.  The type of dynamic that I desire is not very common amongst most bdsmers that I have known.  Im not saying there is one true way,  Im saying there is a specific mindset for me about what it should be like for myself.  And there are only a small minority of dominant males (in my experience anyway)  who share the same beliefs as I do on that level.  

    Most dominant males that I have interacted with over the years are all about something entirely different than what I have in mind.  So I guess that's the type of 'compatibility' that I seek.  It's very easy to find people with whom I have things in common, but more difficult to find someone who jives with my particular bent.

    I have met a few who get it, the way I get it.  I can count them on one hand.  



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    Profile   Post #: 15
    RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 8:34:41 PM   
    callistaIn


    Posts: 62
    Status: offline
    quote:

    My question is do you seek or desire someone who is as close to you in interests as you are able to find?

    Absolutly NOT. I am sorry, but for myself, that would be extremely boring. Having different interests gives you a reason to umm...learn something new ; and it helps to teach you how to compromise in certain situations.
    quote:

      In anyone's opinion is total compatibility ideal should such ever be found?


    I am not real sure what you are asking here. Are you asking if total compatibility is possible? and if it is, should one strive for that ideal?

    I think that it is possible to find someone who is exactly, one hundred percent, without any question; completly compatible with you. However, I don't believe that this has to mean that you both have the same interests. To me, it just means that you have found someone who you click with on all levels. And yes, I do believe that everyone should strive to find someone who they click with.

    callie

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    Profile   Post #: 16
    RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 8:46:13 PM   
    SolarAndViolet


    Posts: 85
    Joined: 8/26/2007
    Status: offline     		Hey SirDrako.. Nice seeing you posting :)

    I personally believe not so much in compatability as in an interest to learn about your partner.  If two people don't share many of each other's interests, but are curious and eager to learn new things, that's what counts.
    Sir and I have many interests that the other has never been aware of or curious to try.  But, now that we met and are together, we are genuinely curious to learn about each other and that includes hobies and passions. 
    I think that total compatability would become boring very quickly, at least for me.  I like to be able to debate things and try new activities. 
    If two are too much alike the whole "two heads better than one" idea loses it's point. 

    'violet'


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    Profile   Post #: 17
    RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 8:58:26 PM   
    MasterDennyslave


    Posts: 16
    Joined: 6/24/2007
    Status: offline


    Master and I clicked from the first moment we met. We have been so compatible in everything. To me compatibility doesnt mean likeing everything he likes. We like different things, do different things, but we click so well. We even say and think the same things, at the same time, both online and when with others.  



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    Profile   Post #: 18
    RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 8:58:30 PM   
    LATEXBABY64


    Posts: 2107
    Joined: 4/8/2004
    Status: offline     		for crying out loud you peoiple make things so difficult.. it is about a lot of things but you have to work at it and want it.
    if you ever win a race or a competition or an award it is the same thing life experince trains you for that. no book or person or even mentor will prepare you for being with someone.  if you do not give your best or put your best into something  you will have nothing.the people who have got right are the ones who have proven the test of time.. so try and analyze try and put up your two cents.. but the bottom line is it is what you do for each other on a lot levels if your giver or taker.. life will teach you right from wrong in the end it your choice no one else yep yep  

    (in reply to SolarAndViolet)
    Profile   Post #: 19
    RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 9:07:39 PM   
    sublizzie


    Posts: 1252
    Joined: 5/26/2004
    Status: offline     		Compatibility in having similar definitions within WIIWD would be important to me. Similar viewpoints regarding character traits is imperative, kinky or vanilla. Interests? It would be nice to meet someone who is a foodie and is willing to experiment gastronomically given my particular kink.

    Too much similarity would be boring. Too many differences would make for a lot of hard work and communication. I'm willing to do hard work and communicate. I'm not really into being bored.

    Just my thoughts.......

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    Profile   Post #: 20
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