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RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away - 7/12/2005 5:01:59 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OverlordAlpha
It is a very touchy subject however, and some people just don't want to deal with the reality that they are grossly and dangerously overweight.


Too, I think some people are made to feel 'grossly and dangerously overweight' when they -aren't-.

This culture encourages individuals to be underweight, implying that that is normal. Individuals that are in a very comfortably healthy weight range, medically, are told socially that they are overweight. This bugs me.

This comment is neither here nor there, but I'd hate to be encoraged to lose weight when I'm already healthy. As it is, I'm only about 5lbs outside optimal weight range, adn my weight loss is purely for my own cosmetic desire. It's odd, though, because to many I am -fat-.

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RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away - 7/12/2005 9:49:20 PM   
OverlordAlpha


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/6/2005
Status: offline 		Perverseangelic, looking at your photos, you aren't anywhere near what I would consider grossly overweight--not even in the same ballpark. But I see your point, everyone has a different definition. It's just that in New Orleans, there many that I have witnessed in the BDSM scene that can stand to lose about 100lbs. It's unhealthy, and dangerous. And to me, it's unattractive. 20-30lbs over normal bodyweight isn't a big deal. Being anorexic can be just as dangerous.

Alpha

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RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away - 7/12/2005 10:22:52 PM   
anopheles


Posts: 241
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline 		Well it sounds like from your description of your Dom, that he is genuinely interested in your health, not just trying to make you fit some sort of body image. I personally find it perverse when someone wants another person to gain, or lose weight, solely to make you fit their mold of what someone should look like. A real Dom/me wouldn't do that to someone that they cherish. A real Dom/me would certainly look out for the health of their sub, that is their duty. But to arbitrarily change the way they look, no cool points given for that one.

Just my opinion.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fourpeas

I haven't been put on a weight loss plan, because I happen to be really poor right now and am really struggling paying bills (who isn't)

I have been put on an eating plan though where I have to eat healthy or I am in BIG TROUBLE. Like, the biggest trouble you can think of. I collapsed this fall because of low iron in my blood and since then I've had iron-deficient anemia.

My Dom is on me all the time asking what I've eaten. It's hard because I am Italian and he doesn't understand my need to eat pasta (cheap!) ha ha ha...

But anyways, I've been put on the eating plan by him and I definitely just view it as another aspect of my service. It's also nice sometimes to give some of that control over to him since I sure would just eat pasta and peanut butter if it were up to me. He's made me see that keeping myself at my best shape is a direct service to him.

I think it could work as long as both parties are clear about it and neither partner is coming from a place of judgment of the other... He, for instance, doesn't tell me what to eat, but he does make sure I eat healthy. I would imagine that a weight-loss plan could work like that as well.

I am sure there are many Dom/mes out there who could come up with some REALLY good ideas for the "exercise" portion of the program...


(in reply to fourpeas)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away - 7/13/2005 1:22:18 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic
(Incedentally, it's really hard ot try to eat healthier when your partner can eat ANYTHING and remain stick thin. I've recnetly lost nearly 15lbs, but it's hard b/c he needs to eat SO MUCH to retain a healthy weight, while I need to eat virtually nothing to lose. ARGH!)


This brings up another interesting point...if the dominant and sub share a lot of meals, how willing is the dominant to lead by example? My partner helped by sharing salads, and lighter meals with me when we ate at restaurants, and not expecting me to cook fatty meals for him when I was there cooking.

As with parents, dominants can't expect to get away with "Do as I say not as I do" all the time. ::cheeky grin::

Cin

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quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away - 7/13/2005 2:56:34 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful
dominants can't expect to get away with "Do as I say not as I do" all the time. ::cheeky grin::

Cin

You're right, mine just has to say "Do as I say"

Doesn't matter what he does or doesn't do.

Ds is about DOUBLE STANDARDS. He gets to make the rules, I don't. He gets to do what he wants, I don't. He gets to do some stuff, I don't.

Isn't that the whole point of Ds?

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away - 7/13/2005 3:37:29 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		Yeah, mine isn't leading by example either. There really isn't any reason for him to. He needs way more calories than I.

I mean, even if we were in a non-bdsm setting, he'd STILL need way more calories than me.

It sucks, man.

quote:


Perverseangelic, looking at your photos, you aren't anywhere near what I would consider grossly overweight--not even in the same ballpark. But I see your point, everyone has a different definition. It's just that in New Orleans, there many that I have witnessed in the BDSM scene that can stand to lose about 100lbs. It's unhealthy, and dangerous. And to me, it's unattractive. 20-30lbs over normal bodyweight isn't a big deal. Being anorexic can be just as dangerous.


Thank you, and I pretty much agree with the statmenets that weren't about me :)
It just seems so often people are...well...shortsighted...about skinnyness.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away - 7/13/2005 4:11:25 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2
You're right, mine just has to say "Do as I say"

Doesn't matter what he does or doesn't do.

Ds is about DOUBLE STANDARDS. He gets to make the rules, I don't. He gets to do what he wants, I don't. He gets to do some stuff, I don't.

Isn't that the whole point of Ds?


To some degree, yes. But when a dominant is trying to encourage and help a sub to succeed then why sabotage their success by making it all that much harder on them?

I agree that sometimes sabotage in a scene can be about humiliation and failure leading to punishment...I've experienced that and found it very intense...but expecting a sub to make a lifestyle change is not about a scene...it's about teaching and guiding...and there is an integrity there that matters, very much.

I'm sure that everyone, no matter their weight, can only benefit from making healthy eating choices...which is what we are talking about here.

Personally I'd no more respect a dom who ate junk food and lectured me about eating better than I'd respect a doctor who smoked telling a patient to quit.

Cin


< Message edited by Vancouver_cinful -- 7/13/2005 4:14:00 PM >

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Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away - 7/13/2005 4:18:43 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL:
To some degree, yes. But when a dominant is trying to encourage and help a sub to succeed then why sabotage their success by making it all that much harder on them?

As already suggested, people sometimes need to eat very differently. And I have no problem if a dominant wants to be nice enough to share the burden or also feels it would help them if they controlled their diet, that's great.

But that's a very different reason than what you presented. In Ds "do what I say, not as I do" is absolutely reasonable.

quote:


I'm sure that everyone, no matter their weight, can only benefit from making healthy eating choices...which is what we are talking about here.

Personally I'd no more respect a dom who ate junk food and lectured me about eating better than I'd respect a doctor who smoked telling a patient to quit.

Cin


By the time they are YOUR dom and able to control your diet, one would hope the issue of respect would be well decided. If not, you've got bigger issues than food at the moment.

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away - 7/13/2005 4:35:54 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

As already suggested, people sometimes need to eat very differently. And I have no problem if a dominant wants to be nice enough to share the burden or also feels it would help them if they controlled their diet, that's great.


I don't know of anyone for whom junk food is healthy. Even slender people can have heart problems from poor diet choices.

quote:


In Ds "do what I say, not as I do" is absolutely reasonable.


Yes, we agree on that. Most of the time it's a perfectly reasonable stance.

quote:


By the time they are YOUR dom and able to control your diet, one would hope the issue of respect would be well decided. If not, you've got bigger issues than food at the moment.


Yup, I agree. I wouldn't be submissive to a dom who could sit there eating junk and telling me I need to eat better for my health. Nor one who sat on his ass all day and told me to exercise, or one who smoked and claimed he was worried about me getting diabetes...

Is a sub not supposed to care if their dominant has a heart attack, stroke, or gets cancer? How selfish that would be.

Being in a relationship means you take care of each other so that you can be there for each other...I don't care whether it's a D/s relationship or a vanilla one...it's only responsible to look after your loved ones by looking after yourself too.

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 29
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