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ImpGrrl -> RE: Make You My Slave/Submissive (4/4/2008 6:45:41 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: hardbodysub
To paraphrase an old adage, I believe that "Dominant is as dominant does." If she doesn't do something to impose her control on me, to prove her dominance, if she needs me to be a completely willing servant without her lifting a finger, then how dominant is she really? In that case, I'd suggest that she's not really being dominant, she's merely accepting freely offered service.
He is dominant to me because I agree to it. I am submissive to him because *he* agrees to it. That's all it takes. No need to "prove" his dominance - and, in our relationship, if there *were* that need, something would be wrong. He directs, I act. I have all of my power (and he all of his), but because we agreed it should be so, he has authority over mine.
My m/s relationship has nothing whatsoever to do with "proofs" of dominance or submission - just agreements upon a dynamic and sticking to those dynamics.
quote:
Unfortunately, any suggestion along these lines usually leads to accusations of being a "do-me" sub, and suggestions that
a "true submissive" shouldn't need any special incentive, any coercion or seduction, to submit and serve. Well, turnabout is fair play, and even though I don't like the use of the term "true" because of it's polarizing nature, one could just as easily say that a "true dominant" shouldn't need a submissive who is so compliant that no effort is required to control them.
What? What you are saying is just as silly as what those you speak against are saying. These are agreed-upon interpersonal dynamics, and so freaking individual that it is *impossible* for any of us to tell another what their dynamic is or should be.
*No* effort is required to control me, because I control myself. But I do it under his direction and according to his wishes, for as long as we remain within the dynamic we agreed upon.
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