curious question

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

curious question

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> curious question

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

curious question - 8/30/2007 5:52:36 PM

SavageQueenD

Posts: 143
Joined: 9/2/2006
Status: offline

Since I am still newer to all of this, I am curious as to what types of rules/rituals does one typically expect their sub(s) to follow. Looking for ideas as I'm not sure what types of things to include or turn into a rule or ritual.

Thanks in advance for all the wonderful advice!

SavageQueenD

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: curious question - 8/30/2007 7:00:53 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

It really rather depends on the subject and their individual needs. Some of my routines include a bedtime kneeling/relaxation ritual, bathing, bathroom rituals, and a slave meditation. It they are training in something specific (ball stretching, anal opening, etc) they are kept on a schedule of expanding their limits and abilities.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to SavageQueenD)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: curious question - 8/30/2007 7:19:13 PM

EternalInferno

Posts: 47
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline

MisPandora is right on the mark with it all depending on the needs of submissive and dominant in the situation. I have had different rules with each person. I know what I typically want and that is a good place to start and then I learn as much as I can about the submissive and in the process of that, determine where they are and what we might need to do to fit me or teach them lifestyle basics if needed. I tend to fit things to me, but I also want my submissive to be able to go out in public and not offend others.

If they need to stop focusing on themselves, I tend to have a time each day when they are kneeling and speaking aloud how they feel about me and then have things they are to do to teach them I come first. I might have them write about it because I like being able to send them back to their own words for lessons I might want to focus on or to show them their growth. It also helps me when I have more than one submissive, to keep facts straight! lol I ask for daily reports if they have time in their life depending on the demands of their life or if they live with me or not.

I think that anything that is a service to me can be used and I love being creative, but I'd rather not talk about those things just yet! lol

You will find out what works for you! Happy rule making!

(in reply to MisPandora)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: curious question - 8/30/2007 7:26:55 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

*fast reply*

Agreed! Just so long as you remember that YOU are the one that must enforce all of these rituals, actions, homework, projects etc. Don't make them anything you can't benchmark, measure, or validate that it's taking place or that you're not willing or able to enforce/punish for failure to complete.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to EternalInferno)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: curious question - 8/30/2007 7:43:46 PM

EternalInferno

Posts: 47
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline

lol Another great point! Rituals can be burdensom at times!

(in reply to MisPandora)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: curious question - 8/30/2007 7:50:08 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

One thing I'd like to add on is, especially since you are just getting started, keep your rituals simple. You can always expand on something if it works well. Rituals that are long, drawn out, or don't exactly fit in with daily life, don't work as well for the goal you're persuing.

I've always stuck with My primary two. Morning and evening for daily rituals. They aren't elaborate in any way, but they work for Me.

(in reply to SavageQueenD)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: curious question - 8/30/2007 8:24:39 PM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline

It really is individual. I'm not rules or protocol oriented. So my basic one is "I have final say". You can do as little or as much as you like. As work for you and yours.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to SavageQueenD)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: curious question - 8/31/2007 1:15:35 PM

MistressShuggie

Posts: 24
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline

My basic rule is my way/highway. No elaborate rituals.

(in reply to arayofsunshine55)

Profile

Post #: 8