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Indecisiveness - 8/30/2007 8:34:29 PM   
shigglyboom


Posts: 110
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline 		Dear Sirs/Maams,

Have you ever gone through periods of time when you were unsure of yourself in aspects of daily life, and this made you indecisive? If so, what did you/do you do to break through the inertia? Also, did your desire to dom in your relationships wane or increase during this time?

D/s during hard times is something I've wondered about since reading Souls Haven a few years back. (http://www.soulshaven.f2s.com/exp_2001.php3.)

Thank you for any answers,

shig

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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/30/2007 8:36:11 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		I don't have problems making decisions...I don't think...maybe...then again...Maybe not...LOL

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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/30/2007 8:46:27 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		In  such times, this is when I take a deep breath. I then say to myself "These are my issues, how do I take care of it?" "Okay, this is what I have to do, it's time to make it happen."

I see the problem, I rationalize with a little volken logic, and make myself do what I have to do to get the job done one step at a time. 

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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/30/2007 8:52:13 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


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quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

In  such times, this is when I take a deep breath. I then say to myself "These are my issues, how do I take care of it?" "Okay, this is what I have to do, it's time to make it happen."

I see the problem, I rationalize with a little volken logic, and make myself do what I have to do to get the job done one step at a time. 


do you mean Vulcan logic...just a little confused here


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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/30/2007 9:11:43 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I don't know anyone who hasn't had times of uncertainty or difficulty making a choice.

Sometimes I wait, time cures pretty much everything in the end, but sometimes you need catalysts or just can't wait that long.

Sometimes I ask for advice.  Sometimes I try something to see what will happen. 

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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/30/2007 9:15:02 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		but...but...I'm not indecisive...am I?




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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/30/2007 9:35:08 PM   
jaymckenas


Posts: 146
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline 		yes you are.


wait, no... perhaps not...

hmm let me mull this over...

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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/30/2007 9:59:48 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Suffering tends to cure it nicely.

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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/30/2007 10:41:45 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Suffering tends to cure it nicely.

Indeed....


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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/30/2007 11:22:21 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

do you mean Vulcan logic...just a little confused here



I think he's referring to Henri Volken, Michael, but I could be wrong. Me, I'm all over Mr. Spock.

Live long and prosper.

Celeste

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/30/2007 11:26:48 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		Spock is sooooooo cool...can't believe he played second fiddle to Kirk all those years...LOL

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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/30/2007 11:31:07 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		OOOOOO YUMMY .................... Spock was such a horn bag, I could have turned sub for him!!!! Well, switch maybe.

Answer to the question, yes, life has got in my way and I have found my dominance shoved into the background.  The best way of returning back to full dommeliness is to get a new slave to play with!!

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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/31/2007 8:10:28 AM   
Tristan


Posts: 330
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline 		Hey Dreamgirl aka Shigglyboom,

I just had a similar discussion last week with a friend about one of our mutual friends who is also extremely unsure of herself.  My best guess is that you just have to find the things that you are interested in, and then just do them. 

My guess is that our mutual friend is so unsure of what she wants for herself that she does nothing.  She seems to second guess every decision she makes.  She told me about how agonizing it was to buy a car.  As soon as she bought one she liked, she wanted to return it to the dealer.  She seems to have a similar problem with most of the every day stuff in her life.  She sometimes seems so worried about failure that she is unable to even think clearly.

I think passion is not something that you are born with.  I think passion is an intense curiousity and desire to learn more.  I think you need to forget about the consequences and what other people will think, and just focus on what you find interesting.  At least this works in my life.  I'd love to know more about what you think.

Tristan

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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/31/2007 11:41:08 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think indecisive directly from a period of stress.

Early this month I left my cushy job and large living quarters to be with my partner.  I had no job, and didn't understand the market of the area I was moving to, and into a (much) smaller space.

If it weren't for the fact that our relationship is so solid, it could easily have become problematic.  It took three weeks, but I finally found a decent job.  In the interim, even though 'we' were fine, I wasn't quite so much.  I was becoming internally stressed, and I didn't wish to become dependent.  I always had opportunities doing things I didn't want to do, but neither of us wanted that for me.  For no good reason, I could have become more obsessed with my issues (rather than the important thing - 'us') and lost interest.  The signs were there.

But not indecisive.

Jeff

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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/31/2007 12:30:03 PM   
SexiSubbi


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/13/2007
From: Florida
Status: offline 		I know that stress has put me into situations of indecisivness. So, when I realize that I am encountereing trouble, I find those things I can do easily. It gives me time to regroup and regain my strength. 

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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/31/2007 12:39:47 PM   
SmokingGun82


Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline 		I have brief periods of indecisiveness... more accurately described as periods where my faith in myself wanes. Usually they come after a relationship ends, when I allow myself a few days to grieve/whatever, and they pass quickly, about the time someone needs me to be myself.

Fortunately, my friends do that often enough that I never manage to stay in a funk too long.

It might sound like my strength comes from others relying on me... which isn't quite true. Sometimes I just need a reminder. :)


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It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/31/2007 12:52:04 PM   
realtuffdom


Posts: 108
Joined: 7/16/2007
Status: offline 		In my opinion, indecisiveness comes from having difficulty making a decision.

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I have lots and lots of experience at domination. Now I'd just like to try it with a partner....

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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/31/2007 3:50:57 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

do you mean Vulcan logic...just a little confused here



I think he's referring to Henri Volken, Michael, but I could be wrong. Me, I'm all over Mr. Spock.

Live long and prosper.

Celeste


I mean Mr Spock  Vulcan logic. I never new there was a real spelling for the alien race. I've only watched the shows and never bothered to read a Trek book. 

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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/31/2007 6:55:38 PM   
shigglyboom


Posts: 110
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline 		Hey Old Friend,

So nice to see you on here! I've missed being called Dreamgirl... thanks for your thoughtful response.

I'm asking about a Dom I know who seems kind of lost now. As a former sub to him, I feel awfully pushy trying to help him get past his fog. I'm torn between honoring the D/s dynamic, which for us was sub-passive, vs. really pushing him to get better as I would a friend. Does that make sense?

I guess I'm looking to doms on here to say if that were ever a situation they could imagine themselves in, and if so what they'd prefer from the submissive types in their life.

Kayaking much these days? Let's chat offline.

Liana

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RE: Indecisiveness - 8/31/2007 6:58:27 PM   
shigglyboom


Posts: 110
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline 		Mstrjx,

Last time I hung around here I don't think you were partnered. Congratulations on finding your other!

And thank you for sharing your experience. If I may enquire further - when you were going through that rough patch, what did your submissive do that most helped you - organize/galvanize you, or just listen passively?

Thank you for your insight,

Liana

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