RE: Collar Protocol

RE: Collar Protocol (Full Version)

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arayofsunshine55 -> RE: Collar Protocol (8/31/2007 6:21:39 PM)
I really can't imagine him wanting it back. To do what with it?

kimberangel -> RE: Collar Protocol (8/31/2007 6:29:24 PM)
Remember if the collar is destroyed, keep the hardware. They can live to collar another day. Well that is the leather worker in me talking!

kikinymph -> RE: Collar Protocol (8/31/2007 6:35:20 PM)
And now I'm picturing the fight there would be between da princess and da pet (Sire has the two of us) if he put the collar he made for me on her... oh ummm hackles, teeth bared and gnashing..growling. Yep, subbie dilemma: call a safeword over something that could be considered small, or loose all control? Taking it back to the 'nilla engagement/wedding bands, I wonder who give the second spouse the previous' wedding band? I don't mind the fact that my bands are antiques--handed down, but I think I would mind if they had belonged to a previous Mrs. X. Oh well, just as well that Sire is a switch lol, he understands the emotional stuff that a subbie can put into a piece of jewelry...of course, he does have that Dominant side that wants to warn marauding others off too. Kiki GuardDawg's Pet

Shadowen -> RE: Collar Protocol (8/31/2007 6:41:10 PM)
Yeah see thats why I view that sorta thing as highly personalized. Which , come to that I like putting actual personalization on collars and things like that when I buy them for a girl. How much worse would it be if not only are you told that yeah previous girls 15-34B wore this collar before you did and it um...meant..the..same...thing....ouch, ok thats pretty bad there but imagine if it had previous girls name emblazoned on it. Thats another reason I wouldnt want it back. I may be an evil horrific sadist but thats even to mean for me

Rover -> RE: Collar Protocol (8/31/2007 6:49:26 PM)
Would it be the equivalent of your girl having a tattoo that reads: Property of Master Fred (crossed out) Joe (crossed out) Paul (crossed out) Ralph Just how "special" do you suppose good ole Ralph feels? John

Shadowen -> RE: Collar Protocol (8/31/2007 7:05:13 PM)
Yeah goes along the same lines. Why I never really got into the whole taking the collar I give back. Though as some other people mentioned I would take the damn engagement ring back if I was ever dumb enough to give one out in the first place. I mean sure collars can run pretty high price wise, but not that high. I don't think I like anyone enough to just blow off the cost of an engagement ring.

adoracat -> RE: Collar Protocol (8/31/2007 9:18:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Shadowen Yeah goes along the same lines. Why I never really got into the whole taking the collar I give back. Though as some other people mentioned I would take the damn engagement ring back if I was ever dumb enough to give one out in the first place. I mean sure collars can run pretty high price wise, but not that high. I don't think I like anyone enough to just blow off the cost of an engagement ring. heh. my ex had given another girl an engagement ring that cost MUCH more than what he got me. he sold it to a friend of his, and years later i got to see it on his friend's wife's hand. she took me aside quietly and apologised, after she saw me looking.... i told her "the ring doesnt matter to me. what matters to me is that i paid for nearly half my ring, and yours is nicer." she agreed with me. i'd still give Sir my collar back if we ever parted. but i still have the collar that my late Sir gave to me. kitten

MadRabbit -> RE: Collar Protocol (8/31/2007 10:33:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Shadowen To MadRabbit,I disagree with your saying theres no right or wrong answers/way to do things. I hate political correctness in all its nasty little shapes. There most definately is a right and wrong way to do things. It just isn't singular. quote: ORIGINAL: Shadowen Like what MadRabbit said, gotta figure out your own personal preference and what it means to you. Collars can and do mean a great deal to some people and others they don't. Its all subjective. Hmmm...

Shadowen -> RE: Collar Protocol (8/31/2007 10:40:36 PM)
Sorry, should have used the little quote boxes. Was referring to two different parts of your post there.

MadRabbit -> RE: Collar Protocol (8/31/2007 10:48:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Shadowen Sorry, should have used the little quote boxes. Was referring to two different parts of your post there. Well, I wont say anyone around here would call me politically correct. I am sure if you keep reading my future posts, you will understand why. However, this particular topic might come off as me blubbering off some "politically corect mumbo jumbo", but honestly, its just simple truth. The context of this discussion follows under the category of "personal lifestyle choices" and since "personal lifestyle choices" are completely subjective to the individual, then there is, in fact, no right or wrong. There's a right and wrong way to do needle play. And there certainly is a right and wrong way to punish someone (Oh god, there IS a wrong way as post after post on these forums shows). But anyone implying that my personal lifestyle choice to have my slave wear colorful clown hair as a symbol of her devotion is in fact the wrong way to do things brings a big chuckle out of me. So...my position on this subject still remains...there is no right or wrong way when it comes to your style and everything else is merely the annoying "shoulds". Edited to Add : I hope this clarifies my position on the subject now that I have more time to actually sit down and write.

Shadowen -> RE: Collar Protocol (8/31/2007 10:59:08 PM)
Have actually read quite a few of your posts over quite a few weeks before I finally was unlazy enough to actually register anything on the site so I could post on the boards. Wasn't referring to things like needles and all that. Though that certainly is part of it. Was saying however that there very much is, in my opionion a right way to do the whole BDSM thing, there just isnt a singular right way, and that there very much IS a wrong way which is just as plural. Really sets my teeth on edge when people say there is no wrong way and yet are usually the same people who will post on message boards responding to topics and threads saying things like oh that person is wrong, or he's not real etc etc. Gross generalization not intended to mean anyone in particular but I'm sure you know what I mean. That was what the first part of that was referring to even though I probably should have used the little quotey thingies to at the very least save confusion and me looking like a very contradictory idiot. OR somethign to that effect. The second part was referring to the collars specifically. I think. I tend to ramble alot when I post so I can never be to sure.

MadRabbit -> RE: Collar Protocol (8/31/2007 11:07:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Shadowen Wasn't referring to things like needles and all that. Though that certainly is part of it. Was saying however that there very much is, in my opionion a right way to do the whole BDSM thing, there just isnt a singular right way, and that there very much IS a wrong way which is just as plural. Really sets my teeth on edge when people say there is no wrong way and yet are usually the same people who will post on message boards responding to topics and threads saying things like oh that person is wrong, or he's not real etc etc. Gross generalization not intended to mean anyone in particular but I'm sure you know what I mean. I certainly hope I am not one of those people. Now to confuse people even more, for me, there is, in fact, a right or wrong way. Its what I personally decide is the right way or the wrong way in my own little part of Idaho. However, to take that "right and wrong way" and extend it past my own little personal center into an universal scope, well...then I would just be an ass.

Shadowen -> RE: Collar Protocol (8/31/2007 11:15:27 PM)
True. There is no singular all encompassing way to do thing. Unless you are talking about skillsets. However it still stands that there is a right way to do things. Its just that there happens to be a whole long list of right ways to choose from. Maybe thats just overly philosophical. And no, wasn't meaning to infer that you or anyone else on this site was one of those people.

FelinePersuasion -> RE: Collar Protocol (9/1/2007 12:52:19 AM)
Perhaps to you. You can not say for all what is pointless however. There are plenty of people who like the fashion statement it makes. I've wanted acollar that was lime green with rinestones on it and was sold as a dog's collar originally, because it was adorable, and yes would of been a fashion accessory. Wasn't pointless to me. Point was, it was cute, I wanted, it, I chose not to get it however cause I wanted to spend the 18 bucks it would of cost somewhere else. quote: ORIGINAL: BiteGirl A collar is earned, not just given, and signifies a lot, to just wear it as a fashon exesary is pointless.

Rover -> RE: Collar Protocol (9/1/2007 4:41:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit But anyone implying that my personal lifestyle choice to have my slave wear colorful clown hair as a symbol of her devotion is in fact the wrong way to do things brings a big chuckle out of me. I've been meaning to ask you if she has time around 10:30 next Saturday for a children's birthday party.... John

Rover -> RE: Collar Protocol (9/1/2007 4:43:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Shadowen True. There is no singular all encompassing way to do thing. Unless you are talking about skillsets. However it still stands that there is a right way to do things. Its just that there happens to be a whole long list of right ways to choose from. Maybe thats just overly philosophical. Perhaps you are saying that the "right" way is whatever way works for you individually, and since there are plenty of folks making different individual choices, that implies (numerically) that a whole lot of "right" ways must exist? John

Calandra -> RE: Collar Protocol (9/1/2007 6:05:13 AM)
In My tradition, the collar is the property of the Dominant. If there is a parting of the ways, the Dominant removes the collar, and then does one of three things: 1.) Keeps it with hopes of resoring it to her neck someday (as in the case of a girl who moved home to care for an elderly mother and eventually rejoined the Master with honor and dignity intact) 2.) Gifts it to the slave as a memento of the time they shared together. 3.) Destroys it if the uncollaring was done due to dishonor on the part of the slave. If the slave removes it due to dishonor on the part of the Master/Mistress, he/she should have a trusted mentor with her and she should destroy it as a symbol that the relationship is broken. As you can see by option #2, a slave can continue to wear the collar if it is gifted to her, because then it isn't a "collar" anymore, simply an adornment she earned for her time in faithful service.

WyckedMystress -> RE: Collar Protocol (9/1/2007 6:32:56 AM)
When I collar someone and then it ends (for whatever reason) the collar is returned. And like littlebitxxx said the collar is then stored somewhere. It is not recycled for the next one. A collar is something special not a trinket. goalie I am sure you will figure out the right thing to do. WyckedMystress

Shadowen -> RE: Collar Protocol (9/1/2007 1:39:19 PM)
quote: Perhaps you are saying that the "right" way is whatever way works for you individually, and since there are plenty of folks making different individual choices, that implies (numerically) that a whole lot of "right" ways must exist? John Yeah thats pretty much it. Sorry about that, I have a habit of automatically thinking everyone's mind works like mine does and I can end up being very confusing because if it. I blame it on being dropped on my head alot when I was younger.

mstrj69 -> RE: Collar Protocol (9/1/2007 2:31:11 PM)
If you want to compare it to the engagement ring, ettiquette says if she calls off the engagement she has to return it. If he calls it off, it was a gift and she can keep it. Having received an engagement ring back, my response was to keep it and then take it and trade it in at a jeewelry store when I found something else I wanted. A collar if returned might be kept for play or if jewelry type, it might be traded in on another. Or has been said, the dominant might just say keep it. But that is the dominant's call. Unless it was something expensive and special I see no need to worry about who has it. It has been awhile so to me it is more how sentimental or valuable is it before you give it to her which would decide on wanting it back or not. A $ 1500 pearl necklace that was your mother's and you turned it into a formal collar for vanilla parties, yes you would want it back.

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