WhipLash803
Posts: 16
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline
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Okay let's start at the top-
First there is more than one "type" of collar. There is the-
A) Collar of Protection- a Dom or Mentor would give to a sub that he or she was teaching or had been charged with taking care of (Protecting). It's very rarely used these days especially by a Mentor..a little more common for protection but still very uncommon.
B) Play Collar- a Dom would use this during short term casual play. You put it on at the beginning of the scene/time period (to signify taking ownership or the receipt of "Power") and take it off at the end of the scene/time period (to signify relinquishment of ownership or return of "Power"). This not a particularly "valuable" collar as it is worn by many different slaves that play short term with a specific Dominant. I don't think you'll have to worry about a sub wanting to steal this one. It's a very sad commentary on the State of BDSM that many Dom's and sub's use this as a permanent collar without knowing better, it was never meant to be that. It serves two primary purposes- 1) To create a symbolic start and finish to a "scene". 2) To indicate to others that while a sub might technically be available, she isn't while she or he has your Collar on.
C) Training or Consideration Collar- This is a fairly serious Collar, it's a newly bought one. It's normally leather with a lock, not a buckle. It's normally Black and Dark Blue in color. This is used just like it sounds, it indicates that this sub isn't just playing with this Dom short-term but rather is seeking a LTR. It's a symbol of the first steps on that journey. This is a very important Collar because it is also to a degree like a "Student Driver" sign, it indicates you should be helpful and supportive of a "newbie" sub and their effort to improve. The use of a Training/Consideration Collar is not nearly as popular as it was, this just again another sad commentary on the loss of tradition within our Lifestyle.
D) Formal Collar- This is the one I think everyone refers to when the word "Collar" is used. It used to only be given to a sub through a Formal Collaring process in front of all your Lifestyle peers and friends. Now "virtual collars" are passed out through the Internet like Exstacy at a rave. The Formal Collar was meant to symbolize the permanent exchange of Power between Dom and sub. They come in many different styles, materials and colors. They are always new and typically very personalized to one or both of the Dom or sub. Like the circle of the Collar it was meant to show a commitment to a never-ending relationship...Ownership if you will. It has always been very serious to "Collar" a sub but unfortunately this too has been devalued by both Dom and sub that treat their collar like it's a "velcro" collar. Take one Dom's then another's and another's..or collar one sub after the other. By making your collar have no value, it incorrectly insinuates that mine doesn't have much value either...and I promise you, it Damn sure does!
How does a sub get a Collar, she "earns" the right to "wear" her/his Dom's Collar. The key here being that it is the Dom's Collar she is allowed to wear...not her collar. If the sub does something to make the Dom end the relationship, the price she pays and the symbol of that price is the Dom "uncollars" his sub...taking back his collar and setting her "free". If the sub no longer wishes to be "Collared" to a Dom, they either ask to be "uncollared" or more typically they simply remove the Collar and return it to the Dom signifying the end of the relationship and the subs desire to set themselves free. This is one of the reasons that a sub is NEVER...EVER supposed to put on or take off their own Collar. Taking off their own Collar is the epitome of setting themselves free, their Dom should be the only one that ever removes it....as a matter of fact he should be the only one that has the "KEY" to the lock of the collar. If it's a "Day Collar", a type that looks like jewelry that can be worn publicly, the clasp should be permanently soldered close. A Collar is NOT EVER a GIFT...NEVER!! It is the symbolic extension of a Dom's Possession around the neck of his sub. If a Collar has little or no meaning to the Dom who owns the Collar, how much does the sub think they are worth to that Dom....I'll take it further- Any Dom that says, their Collar doesn't mean much...THAT DOM DOESN"T MEAN SHIT AS A DOM!!! and by extension if your the sub wearing that "collar" you don't mean shit either...sorry but you should have picked a better more "valuable" Dom with a Collar that does mean something!!
If you ever worry that your Collar might be kept by a sub...first of all get a different sub and if your Lifestyle friends don't understand this...get new friends because the ones you have now are idiots. But let's just say your worried, first get a very particular Collar that no one else has and make sure everyone you know..every where you go...knows that is MY Collar on MY sub!! This way if she takes of with it, everyones going to know it's yours and ask the sub why they're still wearing it. Second, put your FREAKIN' name on it... My Collar say's "PROPERTY OF WHIPLASH" on it. You want to steal that and keep wearing it...go ahead and be my guest!!! ...I'm sure your new Dom will love it!! Now that this question has me all paranoid....I'm welding big labels on all the rest of my shit.....Property of Whiplash : )
Oh and what do you do with Collars if the relationship doesn't work out.
A) You destroy the Collar in a small ceremony with your now ex-sub...have a toast to the memory of the old life, a toast to the new, you give her a big hug and you release each other to continue on your journey with a pledge to remain friends forever... and mean it!
B) After you get it back, offer it to your ex-sub as a symbol of what was and the friendship that now is. Some subs might want it as a sentimental gesture and token of all the good times that Collar meant to you both.
C) After you get it back, put it in a private place of Honor. Let it symbolize the good times and serve as a token of the importance of your ex-sub to you and the new friendship you have.
D) If you don't have any good memories...burn it...drop it in the ocean...bury it in the backyard or put it on the dog!!!
E) If she keeps it and won't give it back....think of it as the best $100 you ever spent....it got rid of that crazy bitch didn't it!!
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RE: Collar Protocol - 
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RE: Collar Protocol - 
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