RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut?

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RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 1:33:54 PM

DS4DUMMIES

Posts: 180
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: texancutie

Well first off, I couldn't even attempt explaining their motivation as anything even remotely dominant. Whenever I get emails or private messages like that, I assume they haven't a clue what Domination or submission is. I mean I could be mistaken, but in my eyes, they are just role playing being Dominant online. Having an overbearing personality or telling someone you don't know that they are a slut or whatever, does not a Dominant make.

What texancutie said would be my take as well. I'd write the men back and open with "Dear Moron".....

DS4

_____________________________

"When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly.” Patrick Overton

(in reply to texancutie)

Post #: 21

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 1:37:57 PM

Guilty1974

Posts: 467
Joined: 11/2/2005
From: Den Haag
Status: offline

Yes, it is quite common. It is also quite common not to get involved with such rude "Dominants".

(in reply to needs2beused)

Post #: 22

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 1:40:33 PM

needs2beused

Posts: 22
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline

Yea, I was done after that. I am learning the ignore button isn't evil :) but thanks for the reminder

(in reply to Guilty1974)

Post #: 23

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 2:16:21 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

From my experience only, i don't remember ever getting an email that greeted me as "slut." Of course, if i had, i wouldn't have paid them any attention any way so they would have been soon forgotten. i do get some IMs from strangers that call me slut or whore but, i just ignore them. Mostly they are just guys looking for the cheap thrill of cyber sex.

If i did get an email, from someone who i didn't know, that addressed me as "slut" or "princess" or "sweetie" or "whore", or any other term of familiarity, other than my name, i wouldn't waste my time responding to it, because they are someone who is just making an assumption about me without spending the time to get to know me first. i would just ignore them. i might not delete the message right away. That way, just in case i got another email from the same person later on, i would still have that first one as a reminder of this person's character.

There are plenty of high quality men and women on this site who will take the time to get to know you before coming up with a "pet name" for you. i know, because i met my Master on CM and He is a gentleman of the highest caliber. He never called me "slut" or "whore", until He owned me.

As far as the question of obedience, that is something only you can answer for yourself. Personally, i would say that i am obedient to my Master, and only my Master.

Good luck in your search.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David
__________________________________________
"Commitment transforms a promise into a reality."

quote:

ORIGINAL: newtothis55

Not to be dumb but maybe cause i am relativly new to D/s I am confused on the ammt of emails from collarme.com Dominants that start with hello slut. Then they usually ask if I am obedient. Ok, I do not get the slut thing,i realize given time it could be a term of both endearment and humilation and i am honest confused about the obedient thing when its a first email, how can i even answer that? Obedient to what or who, or even which.Can someone explain these concepts ? Thanks in advance

(in reply to newtothis55)

Post #: 24

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 2:21:10 PM

MstrSkyWoIf

Posts: 238
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: texancutie

Well first off, I couldn't even attempt explaining their motivation as anything even remotely dominant. Whenever I get emails or private messages like that, I assume they haven't a clue what Domination or submission is. I mean I could be mistaken, but in my eyes, they are just role playing being Dominant online. Having an overbearing personality or telling someone you don't know that they are a slut or whatever, does not a Dominant make.

I agree with texancutie here. It sounds to me like they have read one to many books and are not stopping to think how lame they come across. To my way of thinking a first impression that you don't know what this lifestyle is about is not what you want to make. The terms block, delete and next all come to mind....

_____________________________

this is just my opinion, I do not claim to be an expert on life. I am just Me, Love me or Hate me I really don't care. I am the culmination of my life's experiences. I am an ever changing block of clay molded by life's experiences on a daily basis.

(in reply to texancutie)

Post #: 25

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 2:28:16 PM

MstrSkyWoIf

Posts: 238
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dbadd0g1

Interesting.
Yesterday I was called a pussy and told there was no way I was strong enough to handle this slave because I did not call her a slut right out of the box.
Its not my first line to meet someone. It seems that at first it is no different than meeting someone on the street. I just know that because you are here we have at least one thing in common. So would I walk up of the street and say how ya doing slut on your knees....well..not for a first impression no. lol

I am a little new and guess I have a lot to learn

Hay not to get of subject but dbadd0g next time someone calls you a pussy tell them "well you are what you eat as*hole"

Shuts them up every time "now back to our previous program.

_____________________________

this is just my opinion, I do not claim to be an expert on life. I am just Me, Love me or Hate me I really don't care. I am the culmination of my life's experiences. I am an ever changing block of clay molded by life's experiences on a daily basis.

(in reply to dbadd0g1)

Post #: 26

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 2:34:46 PM

onmykneesb4Him

Posts: 113
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline

i personally would never respond to an email like that. A Dom is supposed to earn your trust and respect. For me, that would have the exact opposite effect.

(in reply to MstrSkyWoIf)

Post #: 27

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 2:40:21 PM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

Can i explain it..not hardly..lol..and not sure i really want to go where a mind like that lives.

It also only happens once from any one person. Sometimes i write back explaining, mostly, however, i just ignore them, which can drive their poor little ego nuts..lol.

i received a letter recently asking me if i like rough sex. i wrote back (even though i don't usually bother with one liner type emails), and said.."only with my Master". He wrote back to say.."that proves you're a slave"..so now call me Master..LOL!! i didn't even bother to reply...i doubted that he'd get "it" at all.

cheers,
jimini

ps...welcome to the "boards"..they're great :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: newtothis55

Not to be dumb but maybe cause i am relativly new to D/s I am confused on the ammt of emails from collarme.com Dominants that start with hello slut. Then they usually ask if I am obedient. Ok, I do not get the slut thing,i realize given time it could be a term of both endearment and humilation and i am honest confused about the obedient thing when its a first email, how can i even answer that? Obedient to what or who, or even which.Can someone explain these concepts ? Thanks in advance

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

(in reply to newtothis55)

Post #: 28

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 2:57:01 PM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

Slight hijack...

texan!! how the heck are ya! ltns around the forums.

To the OP:

I've received those emails, and I generally respond with something along the lines of, "sit on it and spin". Especially considering I give nothing in my profile, nor ever have that alludes to any inclination that I might actually respond well to a comment like that. I've actually seen profiles where someone might actually respond well to being called slut on the first interaction. More power to 'em.

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to texancutie)

Post #: 29

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 6:28:33 PM

knottywench

Posts: 10
Joined: 8/25/2007
Status: offline

Being fairly new in the lifestyle. I have had a couple Dom's address me as slut from the beginning. I was shocked and respectfully excused myself from the conversation or thanked them for the email, but was not interested. Being new, one doesn't really realize a true slut is what is desired and she would is offended. When it is learned, yes she is a slut, it is for her Master.

~knotty wench

_____________________________

His light brightens her path.......

(in reply to needs2beused)

Post #: 30

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 6:32:17 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

It is very common and done by the same type of males who think that women actually LOVE to get unsolicited photos of naked stranger cock. Look at it this way.. it lets you weed out the males who aren't worth your time!

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to newtothis55)

Post #: 31

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 6:37:59 PM

kimberangel

Posts: 93
Joined: 10/15/2005
Status: offline

my first experience on CM was witha Dom who semed to be of the utmost respect. we chatted online a few times, before taking it to the phone. Comfy there we decided to meet. Before that happened He asked me a few ?. When He learned that i hated the "C" word unless during play. He decided that was what He would call me always. Needless to say, we never met face to face. He is a well respected Man in His community. If He is respected and wants to continue hat respect , then even as a submissive in public, i expect the same. Submissive does not mean trash. i am proud of who i am and what i am .Proud to serve,and enjoys being proud of.

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 32

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 6:51:16 PM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

I speak to whoever emails me with courtesy and respect (unless they have been rude). The only person who may call you a slut, is the one you want to call you a slut. The only one you need to be obedient to, is the one you give your obdience to. It is something you give to someone, it isn't something anyone can take. You are a human being, not an android.

Not all Doms are wankers, but obviously there are some who are.

Mistresses get dickhead slaves emailing them with lines like, "will you suck cock?". It's across the board, so delete and block!!

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to needs2beused)

Post #: 33

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 6:56:10 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: knottywench
she is a slut, it is for her Master.

This is my feeling also. A submissive is not an all purpose slut, but a slut for one special person. If the special person and that sub agree, they can slut her out to others. But it isn't something that is assumed from the first conversation. Before anything is agreed upon, you're just another human being and should be treated as such. You've not given consent for this person to belittle or demean you. What they are doing is not only non consensual but crass and often indicative of the amount of understanding/knowledge the person has of BDSM. (Aka not very much..)

I suspect a lot of the people who are contacting you in this fashion have never had a real time submissive and likely not even an online one. What they know about BDSM comes from movies, fiction and their own fetid imagination. They often actually think they're doing the right thing when they address a submissive in this manner. They think it is what s/he wants. And, some women actually DO want this. They want to be treated as trash from first contact. You can choose to ignore them or attempt to help them with education. You might write back something like.. "Thank you for your letter, but I found the tone of it a bit off putting. I've not agreed to any type of power exchange with you and your addressing me as slut is disrespectful of both my rights as a submissive and a human being. You may find the information at http://www.vanilla-not.com/basics/tendom.html helpful in future contact with submissives. Good hunting and have a great day." Considering the mentality of men who send letters to unknown women calling them a slut, you may get back a vitriolic reply. Those are the lost causes. Block them. But even if they're rude to you, they may read the site and learn. The next submissive they contact may thank you.

A bit off topic, but as a new submissive, you may want to read http://www.thescreamergirl.com/rights.htm

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to knottywench)

Post #: 34

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 6:59:12 PM

SubJordanTyler

Posts: 268
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

I don't think it's really right for a dom to come out the first time and address a sub as a slut. I'm sure it's a lot worse for the female subs, but I've been called a slut before - although never in the first e-mail. It usually happens after I mention something I like that might give them a reason to call me a slut. I happen to call myself one, but most don't know that immediately. I probably wouldn't get too upset if I was called a slut first off because I consider myself one, but since the other doesn't know that, they are assuming something they shouldn't. I might not want that person for a dominant though if they feel it's okay to address me like that right away.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 35

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 6:59:35 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

They know how to spell slut.

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to newtothis55)

Post #: 36

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 7:14:25 PM

Hottiegurl

Posts: 180
Joined: 3/27/2006
Status: offline

Most of the time I ignore first emails that call me that even if I may be one. LOL. I also don't like to be called Slave when first emailed. Since I have not given anything to that person to assume I am one.

I have friends that still after 5 years have not learned to IM me with a hello. It is all do you want to ----? Or close to that. I have kids at home, what if they opened it up first while I was in the kitchen or something. Learning curve ...sometimes just does not work. Thinking without a net!

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 37

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 7:19:23 PM

ThinkingKitten

Posts: 447
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: Ontari-ari-o
Status: offline

To the OP: the only excuse that they might have for addressing you that way from the get go, is if you have a statement like "I want to be your slut" in your profile. Its a non-specific wish, and yet personal enough for anyone reading to think that they are the one who gets to call you that. Some may take it to heart. And conversely you might be happy that they have chosen to address you that way.

If however, you feel that there is no such implication present in your profile, then ignore the little blighters. Just remember to block first, then delete! I would consider them geeks who are looking for some on online distraction from their pathetic lives, and not in the least little bit serious. Or, you could mess with them a bit and pretend to grovel back ....

Personally I have yet to be approached that way. So far, the overwhelming majority of contact emails I have received from Doms have been at the very least polite, and some have been downright pleasant and respectful. Same goes for those who I have met in real life. Be confident in who and what you are, and you'll sort the sheep from the goats with out much trouble.

_____________________________

Thinking Kitten

If you can't stand the heat... tell the chef to get out of the kitchen.

(in reply to newtothis55)

Post #: 38

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 7:44:19 PM

SeanPony

Posts: 169
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

Ya I get that email too sometimes.... so maybe they are on to something hah

Alot of people on the internet hitting alot of keys so you end up will all kinds of situations.

(in reply to ThinkingKitten)

Post #: 39

RE: Is it common in a first email to be called a slut? - 8/31/2007 8:06:58 PM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

They think they are Sir Stephen?

(in reply to newtothis55)

Post #: 40

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