RE: "Love Reign O'er Me"

RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

Bobkgin -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (8/31/2007 8:44:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThinkingKitten But either way it begs the question, perfect at what? Whatever you've chosen to be. If you've chosen to be a slave, strive to be a perfect slave. If you've chosen to be a master, strive to be a perfect master. Strive to be perfect at whatever it is you wish to be.

CandyLover -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (8/31/2007 9:34:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin This is an essay on how Love and Selflessness rule my paradigm for a Master/slave relationship. Back when I was in college, I tried to make my essays "stylish" by putting lots of spaces in them, too! My professors didn't buy it...

BDsbabygirl -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (8/31/2007 11:04:53 PM)
I, for one, thought the sentiment lovely. I thought I was reading about my relationship with my Dom for a moment, for I am sure that we both see ourselves as selfless and always seeking the other's enjoyment and happiness, even if it is expressed in different ways due to our roles. Yes, my Dom does seek my pleasure; isn't that what scening is about, not just his pleasure, but mine as well? I also don't understand how anyone could infer "perfection" from the idea of being "selfless". But even if everyone was perfect, I don't see why that would make everyone the same; perfection does not strip away personality and it is such that gives us individuality, not how much we sin or err.

BDsbabygirl -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (8/31/2007 11:19:13 PM)
quote: ... those who view this as an act of selflessness on the part of the slave, for she has surrendered what the rest of the world values: freedom. Exactly. As she lives to serve me, so I live to serve her. Sounds like something my Master would say. ...as a master was in my way as selfless as she was in her way. Amen, Amen! So my paradigm for the perfect master/slave relationship is one where both the master and the slave pursue their selfless love for one another, exploring the potential in each other and seeking the ultimate expression of themselves and their love through their relationship as master and slave. This says it all.

Aileen68 -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (9/1/2007 1:22:13 AM)
Perfection is overrated, boring and unrealistic. Just because someone strives to be perfect doesn't mean they are superior. It just means they've set themselves up for an uphill battle and the fall is that much greater when there's someone that is expecting that end result. It is unobtainable. And selflessness does not equal perfection. Life is so much more fun when one accepts flaws in others. Often times, it's those flaws that makes someone loveable and unique.

Bobkgin -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (9/1/2007 2:09:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 Perfection is overrated, boring and unrealistic. And how many perfect people have you known to draw these conclusions? How can you claim perfection is "overrated"? You've been perfect and gave it up because its not all its cracked up to be? How can you claim perfection is "boring"? You've been perfect and were bored to tears? And how can you claim personal knowledge of what it is to be perfect (that it is both "overrated" and "boring") when you also claim being perfect is "unrealistic"? My my, look at what they are trying to teach me: selfless people are undesirable, and perfect people are overrated, boring and unrealistic. I guess if I'm the only one who desires those who strive to be selfless then there is no one for me to compete with to win their affections. Works for me and I am sure those who strive to be selfless will appreciate knowing how some of you feel about them so that they might avoid you in future. As I said in another thread, those for whom I am ideally suited, and who are ideally suited for me, are not going to find satisfaction in people who are not me, or not sufficiently like me as to satisfy their needs. This thread, as in every other thread, merely makes my argument for me. May those of you who hate or despise selfless people find none in your future, and may those of us who love them find them and fulfill their hopes and our own.

Stephann -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (9/1/2007 3:05:16 AM)
How do you hold a debate with someone who holds their hands over their ears and says "I CAN'T HEAR YOU I CAN'T HEAR YOU." Some folks want to feel indebted to their partners. Every woman who did to me, had low self-esteem. Some folks want to believe that their partner's life is more important or valid than mine. A break-up usually followed shortly after. I hate relationships that are based in absolutes (even as I enjoy 'Absolute Power Exchange'; go figure.) I don't want someone to throw their entire life at my feet. I want them to feel compelled to surrender whatever parts of their life I desire. Usually, that means I want them to keep their job, keep their friends, keep their possessions, and engage in a wildly intense, loving, heart pounding type of wicked union that leaves us both breathless at night, and sated in the morning. Frankly, I don't want to have time to worry if we're giving or getting each other's all; if I have to ask that silly question, we're not. Stephan

Bobkgin -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (9/1/2007 3:33:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann Some folks want to feel indebted to their partners. Every woman who did to me, had low self-esteem. Some folks want to believe that their partner's life is more important or valid than mine. A break-up usually followed shortly after. I don't want someone to throw their entire life at my feet. I want them to feel compelled to surrender whatever parts of their life I desire. So when my wife developed cancer, I should have dumped her? Because I can quite honestly say that was a part of her life I did not desire. Instead I stood by her till the end. And then I raised our son as a widowed father should. Obviously some people are just not designed for a full-fledged committment to others. Some of us are. I realize that for some the "One True Way" is intrinsically a selfish path, and anyone who strays from the One True Way is merely "overrated, boring and unrealistic". Fortunately for those who are selfless, not all of us believe in the One True (Selfish) Way. Fortunate for my wife and son that Stephann was not their husband and father.

Cyntilating -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (9/1/2007 3:48:42 AM)
1 : concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others [Slavery is not selfless - both submission and dominance are acts of selfishness.] ....I must admit to doing the " puppy-head & ear tilt of curiosity" when I read this... then why is it, in my submission, I feel so opposite to the above mentioned definition?? I didn't mean to hijack the thread, Bob...my apologies if I did....this just stood out to me, so had to comment. Bob, I appreciated what you shared..it obviously comes from your heart and with sincerity ... edited to add: ((gee I dont know how my font size got so big lol Im not really yelling my words....))

Stephann -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (9/1/2007 4:11:22 AM)
First off, you've had a rough life. You don't need my sympathy or pity for that. I'll respond to your questions, as delicately as I can. You probably won't like the answers. ORIGINAL: Bobkgin So when my wife developed cancer, I should have dumped her? No. She wasn't just your partner, she was your wife. Nothing I said suggested you should have 'dumped' her; I'm pointing out that going into relationships putting your partner on a pedestal, and her needs consistantly above your own, is not healthy. Terminal illnesses are tragic, and carry a host of physical, mental, and emotional trauma. Staying with a terminally ill wife is not a healthy choice. A nurse who treats infections patients is also making an unhealthy choice. A promise 'till death do we part', to me, trumps any desire for any sort of 'healthy' emotional relationship. Stephan

KatyLied -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (9/1/2007 4:31:14 AM)
quote: Life is so much more fun when one accepts flaws in others. Often times, it's those flaws that makes someone loveable and unique. I agree. When you can love and enjoy someone with knowledge of their faults and imperfections, that is the best part. Perhaps some people can't go there because it is scary and takes a level of intimacy that they are uncomfortable with.

Squeakers -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (9/1/2007 4:48:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy I just threw up in my mouth....Is this another one of those my submission is a gift threads? Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck! It is too early in the morning to laugh this hard. Thank goodness the coffee is not done or I would have spit it all over my pc and would have typed Damn You DG.

RCdc -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (9/1/2007 5:07:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin Why would striving for perfection be a bad thing? Even those who argue in favour of competition would have to admit that the purpose for competition is to strive for perfection. quote: Did I say that striving for perfection was a bad thing? I did not. I stated that selflessness implies perfection already. Different things. Striving to be all you can be, striving to reach your full potential - which some see as perfection - is worthwhile. Selflessness in itself - is a dream and cannot actually exist - for all that we do, even when we do so for others - results in an end result that we wished to achieve. It is a concept, and a worthwhile one, but it is not a reality. Only the enlightened can ever be selfless and when enlightened, one has reached and touched perfection. The two go hand in hand. Once perfection is reached - what then? If this is the perfect ideal relationship in your eyes, then where would you go from there? I am not suggesting it isn't a beautiful concept, but it would be a fruitless one unless death immediately followed. It is not odd to want imperfection if you desire individuality. For if more than one person was perfect, then individuality would not exist. In your 'perfect relationship' - everyone is already perfect - hence my statement - who wants their other half to be perfect? If they are perfect - where is the potential for growth? For the journey to continue? I never said that perfection icannot be the ultimate goal - I just stated I do not want perfection until the journey is complete. Besides, I accept flaws and learn to understand them. Do you? If not - then why not? I have seen you cry individualism in other threads - surely you can understand that and individual means to be unique - to not follow a crowd - to be themselves. If there is perfection - where is the individuality in that? Peace the.dark.

ThinkingKitten -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (9/1/2007 5:30:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann Some folks want to feel indebted to their partners. Every woman who did to me, had low self-esteem. Some folks want to believe that their partner's life is more important or valid than mine. A break-up usually followed shortly after. I don't want someone to throw their entire life at my feet. I want them to feel compelled to surrender whatever parts of their life I desire. I'm with Stephann on this one (his previous post in its entirety). So when my wife developed cancer, I should have dumped her? I have no idea how you extrapolated this idea from what Stephann said, unless you were simply looking for a disagreement, couldn't find one, and had to manufacture it. Because I can quite honestly say that was a part of her life I did not desire. Instead I stood by her till the end. And then I raised our son as a widowed father should. Obviously some people are just not designed for a full-fledged committment to others. Some of us are. I realize that for some the "One True Way" is intrinsically a selfish path, and anyone who strays from the One True Way is merely "overrated, boring and unrealistic". Fortunately for those who are selfless, not all of us believe in the One True (Selfish) Way. And so by logical inference, you believe in the converse : the One True (Selfless) Way. Is that really any better? Or are we reduced to trying to make sense of a situation similar to holding a conversation with a fundamentalist bible thumper for whom every response pins the answer on God and absolves themselves of any responsibility ? Now please be careful, I'm not saying you're a fundamentalist anything who pins their reason for being on anything, so don't leap off onto some other wild conclusion about what I've just said there. Fortunate for my wife and son that Stephann was not their husband and father. Actually I think I'd rather have Stephann - he strikes me as more the type to just knuckle down to it when push comes to shove and who wouldn't go trumpeting his martyrdom afterwards. MartyrDom? Eh? Too funny.... Can we not just say that perfection is a nice goal to have, and any opportunity to step towards it should probably be taken. If the step towards perfection benefits only you, without detriment to others, then it is fine to be selfish and do it. If the step could or would cause harm to others, then maybe it should be reconsidered and a more selfless tack taken - to the greater good of many over one. It is a fuzzy logic though, based on the precept of the human mind. A Dom/me who fully and firmly believes in their own mind that isolating his/her sub/slave from others is the right way to go, and convinces their sub/slave that this will in fact make them a better sub/slave (which the sub/slave has said they desire to become) may end up causing harm. The Dom/me thought they were doing the "right" thing (striving to help their sub/slave achieve perfection), and yet clearly it was not. There will always be argument and counter-argument on such fuzzy concepts.

RCdc -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (9/1/2007 5:31:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: velvetears quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark Selflessness implies a perfection. Who really desires their other half to be perfect? Why does being selfless imply perfection - could you explain that more? Hello Velvet - Thinking Kitten asks Bob - quote: But either way it begs the question, perfect at what? She gained no real response - other than to become the perfect slave. To strive to be perfect in whatever it is you wish to be perfect in. That doesn't really answer the question as to what perfection is now, does it? The truth is, no one knows exactly what perfection is because no one has achieved it - and if they do, then they die - so its 'truth' is never passed on. To me - That is perfection - the end. Completion. It is when all is done and you cannot do anymore. To be perfect, one ascends and moves onto - whatever - one moves on to. Even if that is nothing.... when one is perfect, one doesn't need to learn anymore, doesn't need to grow. In the context of Bobs post - if selfless submission/love/domination = the perfect relationship then selflessness implies perfection. It has reached its ultimate potential. So it will then die. Peace the.dark.

RCdc -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (9/1/2007 5:39:00 AM)
Hello Cyndi - the font problem is probably my doing...as you posted my quote! I simply do not see your submission or anyone elses as selfless. You gain from the arrangement in some way or another. When you gain, negative or positive when you have consented means that you are doing so to achieve something - regardless of anyone and anything else. That is selfishness. Only the enlightened are selfless. Peace the.dark.

domiguy -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (9/1/2007 6:05:05 AM)
I am striving for perfection....My cum tastes like chocolate (so I'm told).....I'm evolving. I no longer need to shower and I haven't taken a dump in 45 days.

Bobkgin -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (9/1/2007 6:10:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cyntilating I didn't mean to hijack the thread, Bob...my apologies if I did....this just stood out to me, so had to comment. You've asked a good question, Cyndi. I'll be curious to see the answer too. quote: Bob, I appreciated what you shared..it obviously comes from your heart and with sincerity ... Thank you. quote: edited to add: ((gee I dont know how my font size got so big lol Im not really yelling my words....)) I've noticed that the font selections of the person quoted have a habit of bleeding into the response to the quote. We'll see if I've corrected that or not.

domiguy -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (9/1/2007 6:22:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: Life is so much more fun when one accepts flaws in others. Often times, it's those flaws that makes someone loveable and unique. I agree. When you can love and enjoy someone with knowledge of their faults and imperfections, that is the best part. Perhaps some people can't go there because it is scary and takes a level of intimacy that they are uncomfortable with. I would find it possible to love you.....Even though you have obviously had both you legs amputated below the knee, missing the top of your head....And have those cut lil' cocker spaniel ears...Tits ain't to shabby either. I could accept you with all of those flaws....If you don't eat pussy...I'm afraid that might be a deal breaker.

Bobkgin -> RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" (9/1/2007 6:22:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin So when my wife developed cancer, I should have dumped her? No. She wasn't just your partner, she was your wife. And if she'd been "just a partner", what then, Stephann? She'd deserved to be dumped for developing cancer? The more you try to draw distinctions, the more heartless you appear. *quote:* Nothing I said suggested you should have 'dumped' her; I think it rather obvious to anyone familiar with english that you certainly made clear you were only selfishly interested in the good times, and had no intentions of sticking around for anything bad. *quote:* I'm pointing out that going into relationships putting your partner on a pedestal, and her needs consistantly above your own, is not healthy. I am sure that is true for those who are selfishly interested in their own pleasure and enjoyment, and to hell with their partner/spouse/whatever. Nonetheless, your statement is manifestly untrue given that this is what my wife and I did for ten years, until cancer took her. Your One True (Selfish) Way may work for you, but it certainly would never work for me or those I would love. quote: Terminal illnesses are tragic, and carry a host of physical, mental, and emotional trauma. Staying with a terminally ill wife is not a healthy choice. A nurse who treats infections patients is also making an unhealthy choice. A promise 'till death do we part', to me, trumps any desire for any sort of 'healthy' emotional relationship. And that speaks volumes for anyone who knows better. You really would have abandoned her so that -you- could make a "healthy choice" for yourself. You know nothing about Love, Stephann. But when it comes to selfishness, I acknowledge my superior.

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875