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tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 7:30:49 AM   
subUser31


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/1/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings.

I'm in need of ideas for how to punish a sub which is not into pain in any form or humiliation?

How to punish when she don't answer back as I wish. I guess I'm looking for gentle ways of punishment. What I'm asking is ways to punish which tease and punish her at the same time. I think will work. Ideas welcome :)
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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 7:34:36 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Make her devise her own.

At the very least-it will force her to the painful regimen of thinking.

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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 7:34:54 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Pain and Humiliation....it is punishment. Make it so not worth their while. If you go back on your word, so can I (see?)

Correction and discipline are two different matters as well.

Cast her into the outer darkness where she may weep and gnash her teeth as a punishment, then.

Ron


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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 7:49:00 AM   
wandersalone


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Status: offline 		It can sometimes be confusing for the submissive if the punishment also has an aspect of pleasure (if I understand your question about wanting to punish and tease at the same time)...the danger is that they may then enjoy the punishment which defeats the purpose of it.

If she is not answering you in the way you would like firstly ensure that she knows how you want her to respond and also understands why she is being punished.

If she is continuing to not respond appropiately maybe withold enjoyable activities or giving her contact restrictions eg she is not allowed to make eye contact with you until she adds Master on the end of each response.

If she isn't into pain than it would probably be viewed by her as a punishment.

My views are from a submissives perspective and a couple of things that have worked on me in the past though I rarely needed punishment




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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 7:49:14 AM   
subUser31


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Make her devise her own.

At the very least-it will force her to the painful regimen of thinking.


Yes, that might be the solution, and then she will give me something to work with.

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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 8:21:31 AM   
subUser31


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quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

It can sometimes be confusing for the submissive if the punishment also has an aspect of pleasure (if I understand your question about wanting to punish and tease at the same time)...the danger is that they may then enjoy the punishment which defeats the purpose of it.

If she is not answering you in the way you would like firstly ensure that she knows how you want her to respond and also understands why she is being punished.

If she is continuing to not respond appropiately maybe withold enjoyable activities or giving her contact restrictions eg she is not allowed to make eye contact with you until she adds Master on the end of each response.

If she isn't into pain than it would probably be viewed by her as a punishment.

My views are from a submissives perspective and a couple of things that have worked on me in the past though I rarely needed punishment





She is my gf, and she has discorvered that she like to be used and pleasure me as I like. I would like to grow that side of her some more, but in small steps so I don't scare her. I would like to disipline her, speach control, humiliate and punish her while she misbehave. But I guess with patience, and talking with her about it, will maybe open some more doors if she can let herself to me in that way.

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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 8:27:19 AM   
wandersalone


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Status: offline 		It sounds like a good start... smiles 

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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 8:41:07 AM   
subUser31


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quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

It sounds like a good start... smiles 


I think so, and thank you. Smiles back.

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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 10:36:12 AM   
FangsNfeet


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quote:

ORIGINAL: subUser31

Greetings.

I'm in need of ideas for how to punish a sub which is not into pain in any form or humiliation?

How to punish when she don't answer back as I wish. I guess I'm looking for gentle ways of punishment. What I'm asking is ways to punish which tease and punish her at the same time. I think will work. Ideas welcome :)



So she's not into pain or any humilitaion? That makes pain and humailation a perfect punishmet. But if you agreed that these are hard limits which can not be crossed, here are a few ideas.

Orgasim denile

Caged or cuffed for X amount of time

No hot water for the next shower/bath

Take away privlages such as Bed, Computer, TV, Phone, etc...

Feather and Ice torture

Forced to wear a butt plug

Forced to watch you play and such with others

Have her bake something yummie. It's all for you, she can't have a taste. I call this cookie dough torture.

I think this is enough to get you started. 




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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 10:44:10 AM   
rmanrr


Posts: 358
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Status: offline 		Greetings
for the situation you mentioned...perhaps the command "silence" whispered with force. Perhaps having her write how she should have responded....luckily I have no such concerns with mine...but we have a different dynamic which is as it should be. Only a couple suggestions.


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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 11:52:41 AM   
mstrj69


Posts: 295
Joined: 5/27/2004
Status: offline 		You have not mentioned where bondage falls, is it pain and humiliation or not ?  Could leave her tied over night.  Or could tie her to the bed and let her think you are going to use her sexually but then leave her alone to think about why she is not getting used.  What do you define as humiliation ?  Start taking pictures of her in various stages of dress and in various situations.  Can show them to her and remind her you will post one on the net everytime she does something majorly wrong starting with total vanilla.  You do not have to post them, just let her think you will.  That will get through to her.
  She must know what she did wrong and why it was wrong.  Good luck.

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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 12:07:20 PM   
subUser31


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/1/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks for all the help, I'm sure it will atleast tease her mind when I talk to her about it. :)

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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 1:46:12 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		Small steps so you don't scare her. Hmmmm. ~thinking~ (First of all, accolades to you for not doing something you know would scare her right off the bat. Work into it. Very good plan. Once she stretches her submissive muscles, you can tread this other ground.)

If she has music she hates, make her sit still and listen to it, memorize it, and sing it to you.

Make her write sentences (500 or so).

Put her in time out and do not make eye contact with her or speak to her for that time. Tell her that she is to remain silent, and if she moves from her position or speaks, then you will spank her.

Tell her that you are displeased with her and that you will not speak with her (for whatever length of time). Ignore her. This one works very well with a LOT of subs.

Refuse to let her use her hands for one whole day. Tie them behind her.

That should do for now. They're all relatively gentle but they all get the point across. Good luck to you and your girl, and both be well.

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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 2:06:32 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		the outer darkness still works for me.

shut up, lay down right where the shit happens (in the house as you talk) and throw a blanket over her, she lays still and cannot say one fucking thing under the blanket.

Ignore, mix with ice and Jameson (your part)  a good cigar is not out of the question.

Ron 

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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 2:12:06 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Gosh and my suggestion is so much simpler.  Have conversations with her regarding expectations and disappointments.  Punishment is for those who lack the creativity to achieve the results they want in any other way, in my opinion. 

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 2:27:20 PM   
Shadowen


Posts: 34
Joined: 8/31/2007
Status: offline 		Kinda how I see things. I personally see punishment in any form as a failure on both parts. The submissive/slave/how many names are there exactly? and the person giving the punishment. Simply becasue I see it as my responsibility also to ensure things are done the way I wish them without resorting to that I see it as a failure on my part to be proactive in correcting behavior beforehand.

Even when I am forced to use punishments , corporal methods arent an option. Simply becasue I find that confusing for both parties when I do the same things for play as for punishment. I prefer mental excercises and loss of privileges. Or like having them look up in the dictionary, thesaurus and all that what they did and writing like a million words on it. Then when there is jus tnubs I make them write with their mouths.

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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 2:33:12 PM   
BabyNyla


Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		writing sentences ... blah

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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 2:33:31 PM   
ownedgirlie


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Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie
Punishment is for those who lack the creativity to achieve the results they want in any other way, in my opinion. 


I always respect your opinion and wisdom, feastie, even if I do not always agree.  This statement above, however, was too universal for me to not comment on.  In some cases (such as my own, at least previously), punishment is the only language a slave can understand, simply because of her background and history.  And punishments can be extremely creative, without inflicting any corporal pain whatsoever.  I've had punishments which have caused me to break through enormous internal barriers and had cathartic effects.  In my case, punishment was always accompanied by lengthy, ongoing discussions, analysis, and/or exercises to learn the problem and how to overcome it.

While I don't wish to hijack by turning this thread into a debate on punishment vs. no punishment, I do feel that while in some cases, what you said is true, I have to absolutely disagree with your statement above, which appears to relect an "absolute" to me.

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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 2:36:16 PM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BabyNyla

writing sentences ... blah


I had to write some pretty profound sentences for him in the past.  To this day, I repeat them nightly as a mantra, as part of my bed time rituals.  They bring me to a calm and peaceful head space, and cleanse me of my day.  So I'd say it depends on the sentence - is it meaningful?  Can the submissive learn from it?  Is it powerful and will its content be long-lasting?  Etc....

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RE: tricky question :) - 9/1/2007 2:52:26 PM   
wittman40


Posts: 29
Joined: 8/4/2007
Status: offline 		Punishment = something they don't enjoy.

So, if you don't want to humiliate them or engage in pain pay then all you need to do is find other things they don't enjoy and which they will seek to avoid ( simple operant conditioning ).

E.g. I once had a sub who had a massive pain tolerance. No matter what she got she could take more. The trick with her was that she really needed to know she was the focus of my attention. End result, when she failed in a task she was simply ignored and starved of the focus and attention she desired. If it got very bad she was given corner time or just locked in a room out of my sight.

To her these were punishments far more severe and off-putting than any physical punishment, humiliation etc.


Don't get hung up on punishment being something "severe". If it is something they don't enjoy then it is punishment for them even if it wouldn't bother you in the slightest.

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