How to best address the response to a Mistress

How to best address the response to a Mistress (Full Version)

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nikkicd10 -> How to best address the response to a Mistress (9/1/2007 2:21:24 PM)
How to start the message. When I write to Mistresses on this site, I do not address them as Mistress when I first write to them. The reason behind this is because they are not my Mistress, so many have told me not to address them in this maner. I just start the message out with respect towards them as a person. Now when they respond to a message, how do you address the message? I generally start the message the way they signed off on there response/message to me ;ie, if they sign Mistress So & so, or just a name that is how I start my next message to them. However the last few messages I have gotten back. it appears no matter how I start I'm damed if I do and damed if I don't. I have complaints from not addresses as Mistress and from addressing as Mistress,. So in general how do you think one should address a messsage

thetammyjo -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (9/1/2007 2:25:47 PM)
If someone states in their profile what they want to be addressed, I say go by that to make a good impression. If they don't frankly you owe them nothing but common courtesy. If they sign a reply to you, use that as how to address them. If they don't you might want to ask unless you, like me, consider not signing a name to be impolite. And if you are 'damned' for either way consider that just a nice piece of information that says that is not the person for you and be glad you didn't spend more of your time and energy on them. Some people are too full of themselves to accept simple politeness in my opinion and their arrogance shouldn't make you feel bad about yourself.

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (9/1/2007 2:41:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo If someone states in their profile what they want to be addressed, I say go by that to make a good impression. If they don't frankly you owe them nothing but common courtesy. If they sign a reply to you, use that as how to address them. If they don't you might want to ask unless you, like me, consider not signing a name to be impolite. And if you are 'damned' for either way consider that just a nice piece of information that says that is not the person for you and be glad you didn't spend more of your time and energy on them. Some people are too full of themselves to accept simple politeness in my opinion and their arrogance shouldn't make you feel bad about yourself. Bold emphasis Mine... And I can't think of a single thing to add to that excellent reply!

SunnyTawse -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (9/1/2007 2:44:08 PM)
I agree completely with your philosophy about not addressing a Dominant as Mistress or Master when you first contact them. I don't care for it personally; it seems manipulative. Titles can a thorny issue because it will depend upon the individual involved, and there's no way a submissive would know ahead of time unless they already know to what philosophy the Dominant susbscribes. Although I used to go off on a rant about it if someone I didn't know addressed me as Mistress, now I just chalk it up to being ignorant and they lose points in my eyes. I've come to see over the years that as people flood into WIIWD from the Internet, our protocols and conventions become watered down, perverted (yes!) or disappear entirely. I also agree with thetammyjo, who says you owe them nothing but common curtesy. When and if a D/s arrangement is agreed upon, a discussion of titles is appropriate. There is a discussion on another thread about using Sir and Ma'am, and that seems entirely reasonable and respectful to me. I also like to be called Miss Sunny by submissives who don't know me well yet, but that might not work for someone else. Sunny Tawse Sadien Domina Archon of Rings http://AthenorLodge.com

MsLilac -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (9/1/2007 2:50:11 PM)
Seems to me that you are doing fine. When in any personal correspondence, I address the next one as they signed off on their last one. I generally expect the same back. I personally prefer not to be called Mistress at all, let alone by strangers, but I don’t chastise those who choose to address me this way at such an early stage, as I realise, for most, it is just somebody trying to show respect (or kiss my ass, one of the two). I suggest that unless a Lady instructs in her profile how she wishes to be addressed, then greet with her screen name. I also personally like it when someone signs off with their Christian name, or at the very least their username as opposed to nothing, or abbreviates with the first letter of their name, I find that particularly annoying, makes me think they have something to hide.

BoaterDom -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (9/1/2007 3:10:16 PM)
I always answer in the same manner I received the response or per the instructions in the respective profile. What suggestions would you have for a Sub trying to answer a Domme and you find she has your reponse mail Blocked by accident ? I happen to know its an accident because she was trying to reach me and due to an altercation over a year ago the block was put in place but her then, but now its not lifted and I have no way to reach her. LOL now she's thinking I won;t reply and I can't if I wanted too......

MisPandora -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (9/1/2007 3:14:56 PM)
How about just asking the how they wish to be addressed rather than playing a guessing game?

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (9/1/2007 3:25:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BoaterDom What suggestions would you have for a Sub trying to answer a Domme and you find she has your reponse mail Blocked by accident ? I happen to know its an accident because she was trying to reach me and due to an altercation over a year ago the block was put in place but her then, but now its not lifted and I have no way to reach her. LOL now she's thinking I won;t reply and I can't if I wanted too...... Well, you can always set up another profile. That's what some of the ones whom I've blocked keep doing, LOL. Other than that, you could ask a friend to send her a short note explaning the situation. Or you could write something in your journal in the hopes that she looks at your profile and sees it. Lady Topaz

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (9/1/2007 3:27:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MisPandora How about just asking the how they wish to be addressed rather than playing a guessing game? I think that's the safest thing to do, in view of all of the widely differing preferences. I always appreciate a sub asking how I prefer to be addressed. Lady Topaz

Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (9/1/2007 3:35:16 PM)
In your introductory letter, add a PS. PS. How would you like for me to address you in future correspondance?

igor2003 -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (9/1/2007 3:43:05 PM)
Personally, I have not had any problems using "Ms.", though not normally by itself. If it is me that makes the first contact I will either use just their screen name or "Ms." before the screen name depending on how well the two work together. If she replies and signs her letter I will use whatever form she has used to sign, though if she simply uses her first name i will often use "Ms." before that as well. Often they do not sign their letters, so if there is any question about how she might want to be addressed I simply continue using what I first used since she seemed to accept that, but then ask what she prefers.

Politesub53 -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (9/1/2007 5:22:56 PM)
In the first instance i always use Ma`am. After that i either still use Ma`am or the name She signed off with when replying. i have never had any complaints doing this and found everyone on here very polite. [;)]

arayofsunshine55 -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (9/1/2007 5:52:35 PM)
I don't like titles. And I appreciate someone who has clearly read my profile and indicates so by not using a title. When I respond I sign my emails "Sunshine". It seems to me you are never off base responding as someone has signed. That's a pretty clear sign IMO of what she'd like you to call her now.

iammachine -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (9/1/2007 8:24:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MisPandora How about just asking the how they wish to be addressed rather than playing a guessing game? Beat me to it! Seconded. :)

MisPandora -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (9/1/2007 9:03:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: iammachine quote: ORIGINAL: MisPandora How about just asking the how they wish to be addressed rather than playing a guessing game? Beat me to it! Seconded. :) Thanks. It just boggles my mind that people overthink this stuff so much as they do. Subs claim to want to be pleasing and obedient, but they can't follow instructions or use a little bit of common sense. I received an email this week and a guy was trying all sorts of tactics to be "conversational" and failed to give me one shred of anything that I'd asked for. I sent him back to the drawing board, directing him to follow the simple instructions in my profile. Again, I got a whole chapter on what he wanted to talk about and nothing remotely close to what I'd asked for. My next email said, "I want two sentences. The first will tell me what parts of _____, _____ and ____ you provided me with. The second will tell me my impression of you right now." He finally got it. He said, "I told you nothing of what you wanted." "You think I can't follow instructions." BINGO! That's a heck of a way to put your best foot forward and introduce yourself to someone!!!!! Pay attention fellas! A little reading and common sense goes a long way. Don't presume that we'll play like your fantasy stories do! Ask what our preference in address is!

bulejkt1972 -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (10/19/2007 5:28:53 PM)
Use normal, polite language - and above all READ Her profile thoroughly. And don't necessarily come on as too much of a "wimp", if you catch my drift. Obviously, as you are the sub there are certain degrees of respect that She will most likely expect from you but this has as much to do with content as it has with "tone". Also, you'll probably notice that you communicate differently with different people. If She writes you back in a formal/strict manner then stick to etiquette, if She on the other hand is more casual then you should probably be the same. Fingerspitzgefühl is the buzz word... well, that's my take on it anyway... :-)

stella41b -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (10/19/2007 5:40:33 PM)
How about impersonally? No title, no nothing. Hello. It works in person and I tend to find it works in writing too. If they write back they usually sign off by the way they wish to be addressed.

bulejkt1972 -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (10/19/2007 6:20:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stella41b How about impersonally? No title, no nothing. Hello. It works in person and I tend to find it works in writing too. If they write back they usually sign off by the way they wish to be addressed. Yep - that's the way! Even though it may seem a bit abrupt it's probably still the best way to "stay outta trouble". And a simple "What a splendid profile..." or even "Hello, i'm so and so and..." can be a pretty fair formula to start a message.

Aheeb -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (10/19/2007 6:46:57 PM)
I think MILF is the way to go, lol just kidding sort of inside joke any ways, I stick with either Miss or Lady, I am not a fan of ma'am tho. hope it helps

Decimus -> RE: How to best address the response to a Mistress (10/19/2007 8:39:18 PM)
Well the one I use is , "Dear Super awesome nifty neato cool female who has magical mystical powers of perception, observation and psychology," I think its very robust and covers all the angles :)

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